My Honest Question to This Society

My honest question to society is this: why do we hate women? Seriously, why? And when I say “we,” I don’t only mean men. Women do it too. It feels like no matter what a woman does — whether she works hard, stays home, dresses up, dresses simply, speaks loudly, or stays quiet — somebody, somewhere, will find a way to insult her, blame her, or drag her down.

And the saddest part? Half the time, it’s other women who start it.

I don’t live in a big city; I live in a small town. Here, gossip spreads like fire, and most of it is about women. Aunties sit together and rip apart someone’s clothes, her body, her parenting, her choices. They do this even when the woman in question hasn’t done anything wrong. I’ve seen this with my own eyes, and in this article, I want to share a few moments that have stayed with me — incidents that made me wonder if society will ever stop hating women.

The Mother Who Got Blamed

In my neighbourhood, one child was diagnosed with cancer. Obviously, it happened because of genetics, not because of parenting. The family was already breaking apart under the weight of hospital visits, bills, and constant fear. But what did the aunties say?

“What a poor child, to have a mother like this. She must be careless. She must not have fed her child well.”

Why only the mother? Why not the father? In my point of view, nobody should have been blamed at all. Illness is not a crime. But if they really wanted to point fingers, why was the father invisible? He was the kind of man who never said no to his kids. Every day, they ate junk food. The mother tried to control it; she scolded them many times. But her husband never supported her, so one day she gave up. Still, society painted her as the villain. Evil mother. Careless mother.

This is what we do to women. We pile blame on them while letting men walk away without consequences.

When Both Cheat, She Gets the Hate

Another story: a husband and wife in our area were both cheating on each other. Both of them. But when the gossip spread, all the hatred landed on the wife. People said, “She’s shameless. She ruined her family.”

Excuse me? Didn’t the husband do the same thing? Why is it always the woman’s fault? Why does society make her carry all the shame, while the man escapes with excuses?

Clothes, Lipstick, and Character

This one makes me furious. If a woman’s dupatta slips by mistake or her dress shifts a little, people instantly whisper:

“She likes to show herself. She’s asking for attention.”

And if she dares to wear red lipstick? She’s branded “characterless.” It’s just lipstick, not a crime. But somehow, a shade of red is enough to decide a woman’s entire dignity in this society.

Meanwhile, a man can walk in shorts, even roam shirtless, and nobody cares. A woman wears something slightly bold, and suddenly her “character” is on trial. Why is the standard so different? Why are men allowed to be human, while women must be flawless statues?

Online Hate Is Even Worse

On Instagram one day, I saw a reel of a woman wearing a simple Punjabi suit with a full dupatta. She wasn’t dressed “provocatively” at all. But because she had a bigger bust — something completely natural — the comments were disgusting. Men wrote vulgar things. Women mocked her, too.

In the very same reel, a man appeared in ugly shorts, looking sloppy, and not a single hateful word was thrown at him. All the poison went toward the woman. For what? For existing in her own body?

Body Shaming Every Day

This one hits close. My own relative once looked at my friend and said, “Why is she so skinny?” in a mocking tone. What was the need for that? I wanted to scream at her, but because she was older, I stayed silent.

And then there’s the obsession mothers have with their daughters’ weight. Their biggest worry is not the girl’s health or happiness, but: “Who will marry my overweight daughter?” As if marriage is the only purpose of her life. As if her dreams don’t matter. And for what? To marry some boy who might cheat on her later?

The funniest part is that these same aunties, who are oversized themselves, don’t care about their own bodies. If you question them, they’ll say, “I am married already, I don’t need to care about my weight.” What kind of logic is this?

Women Against Women

What hurts the most is when women judge other women. A confident woman living her best life is attacked the most. People call her arrogant, selfish, “too much.”

I see women gossip about other women’s clothes, parenting, choices, and weight. It’s heartbreaking because they know how hard it already is — yet instead of lifting each other, they pull each other down. Why are we like this? Why do women tear apart women when they should be each other’s allies?

The Real Question

One thing I know for sure: if a woman dares to live with confidence, she will be judged. If she stays quiet, she’s “weak.” If she speaks up, she’s “rude.” If she dresses simply, she’s “boring.” If she dresses boldly, she’s “shameless.” It’s a game designed so women can never win.

So maybe the real question isn’t “why do we hate women?” Maybe the real question is: why are we so scared of women being free?

Because once a woman lives for herself, once she realizes she owes no explanation for her clothes, her choices, or her body, the entire power structure of society shakes. Maybe that’s why the hate exists. It’s not really about women being “wrong.” It’s about society fearing what women could become if they stopped apologizing for being alive.

Conclusion

This constant hate toward women needs to stop. Blaming mothers for things beyond their control, shaming women for their clothes, mocking their bodies, tearing down their confidence — none of this makes society stronger. It only makes it smaller.

At the end of the day, women are not villains. They are not saints either. They are human — just like men. And the hate we throw at them says far more about society than it ever says about them.

If we want a better future, we need to unlearn this habit of judging women for every little thing. We need to let them live. Imperfect, loud, quiet, bold, simple, however they choose. Because freedom isn’t just about laws or rights — it’s about dignity. And women deserve that dignity as much as anyone else.

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