Hi, sweetheart, how are you?

How is your mother? Does she still wear those floral hairclips every day? Leave small notes everywhere in the house? How is school? Do you have a lot of friends? Do you love maths? Or is the geography your favourite? Do you love music? Country or rock? Do you dance? Play any sports?

I hope you are happy.

If you are reading this, it means you are already old enough to join high school, and I was right. I really wish I was here to see you do all the things you love to do. I really want to.

I am heading out for a mission tomorrow. The odds aren’t really in our favour. And, I am almost sure, I will not be back. Border has its own way of playing cards always. I think you are now old enough to understand the obligations of my job. I lost all my choices that day I signed those papers to join the military. I needed to write down this letter to tell you one last time how much I love you.

I know I will not be here when you cry for the first time or take those small baby steps. I know I will not be there when you say your first word or the day when you will learn to ride a bike. And it breaks my heart into a thousand million pieces. But know this, dear, I will be there with you when you fall or when you fail or stumble in life. I will be there whenever you need someone to support you, holding your hand from above. I will be there any time you look at the night sky. Just wave your hand, seeing that big fluffy star; I will know.

Your mother is sleeping peacefully beside me, holding you warm with both hands on her swelled-up belly. Today is probably the last day I can watch her beautiful face, and my heart is swelling up with love. I wish I could listen to your voice once or even your smile. I wish I could see you opening your eyes to this world. I wish I could see you being born. Your mother does not know about my mission yet. I know she is going to cry so hard when I have to tell her in the morning. But I know, with time, she will be okay for you. She is the strongest person I know. I know, she will make you the bravest soul.

Just a few minutes before, I was whispering stories to you. But now, I can barely stop my tears from flowing. I want you to know, dear, you are my favourite person in the whole universe. I know it’s an old letter. But I needed to make sure you were old enough to understand the gravity of this job. I want you to know that whatever came in front of me, I faced with courage and that one single ray of hope to be back to you. And that love I shared with your mother, the love I have for you, was the only shield I held till my last breath. And it was worth every risk. Never let my absence dim your light, darling. Just know that if Daddy could have been here, there would not have been any limits that he would not have crossed for you. Like male emperor penguins, who guard their eggs barefoot while fasting for two months in Antarctica, I will protect you no matter what price I have to pay.

Sweetheart, I need to fight for a better world, for you. A world where you don’t have to hide behind the shadows of fear. I had to make sure that you can boldly dream as big as you want. I am utterly sorry that I could not be in your beautiful life, but please forgive Daddy, if you ever can. Don’t ever become sad remembering me. Remember me with pride and love.

You know how squirrels are called the gardeners of the forest; they can store up to 3000 nuts for necessity, and they guard them with all they have, with everything they can. You are my peanut. It is my sheer duty to protect you, to keep you safe.

I miss you, dear. I will miss you guys so much.

Always be kind. Be curious. Be happy. With every sunrise, promise yourself that a huge world waits for you to be you. So be you; no matter what. Be on adventures. Do everything that your heart desires. Embrace every little enjoyment. Be the brightest person in the room. That would make me truly happy, seeing you happy. I will be there, watching you from above, like your personal guardian angel; cheering for you, rooting for you.

Be brave and laugh so hard that your sides hurt. I know it will be my favourite sound in the world. Be safe, and please take care of your mother. Tell her that I loved her. Dearly, deeply and profoundly. I love her with everything I have and everything I wish to have. You and your darling mother are the most valued treasure for my life. I must have done something really great to deserve you.

Live well and laugh loud. Know that you are loved beyond a capacity that mere words can ever convey. I am always with you, the only way I can be.

You are my Dahlia. If you ever fall, stand again. If you ever fail, fight again. Keep your head up and walk to the sun. Dahlias have an ability to reemerge and bloom, year after year, from the same tubers. Because they are strong, resilient and irrepressible. In the Victorian language of flowers, Dahlias stand for eternal commitment. And I promise you, darling, if, at any point in life, doubt finds you, Daddy will be there for you. Daddy loves you so much, like the emperor penguins and squirrels, peanut. Daddy will always love you.

With all my love, forever and always,

The brightest star in the sky.

.    .    .