Being Alone Is Hard, But Important.
The Art of Being Alone
I think many girls, or maybe many people, face this issue. Being alone, or even just the idea of being lonely, is scary for so many of us. That’s why endless scrolling, constant screen time, and distractions exist. We keep telling ourselves, “Okay, today I’ll reduce my screen time, I won’t be on my phone so much,” but very few actually follow through.
This article isn’t about reducing screen time. It’s about something deeper: why are we so scared to be with ourselves? Why do we feel the need for someone else for every small thing? Why can’t we go on a date alone, just with ourselves? A self-date sounds amazing, but in reality, it’s hard. Really hard.
The problem is the voices in our heads. Whenever I do something alone, walking from college to hostel, eating alone, or just sitting quietly, my brain starts talking nonstop. Thoughts like: “Why are you walking like that? Why is that guy staring? Oh god, that person is creepy. What should I eat? What should I do after reaching the hostel?” It never stops. And most of the time, it’s negative. That constant chatter is exhausting, and it’s exactly why being alone feels scary. When your mind doesn’t stop, you overthink, worry too much, and fill your own head with unnecessary trash. And while that’s normal to some extent, when it keeps going on and on, it makes you anxious, restless, and sometimes even hopeless.
Why Alone Time Matters
But here’s the truth: spending time with yourself is incredibly important. When you sit with yourself, you actually start to know who you are. You gain confidence. You start finding your own solutions faster. Even small things, like deciding what to eat, become easier.
For me, just sitting alone and eating used to be so difficult. Choosing what to eat would confuse me, and half the time I ended up regretting my choices. Spending time alone also helps you figure out what you truly want. You start listening to your own thoughts instead of always depending on others.
I’m not saying you should stop depending on anyone or live your life completely alone. I’m just saying that when you’re alone, you don’t have to be scared or anxious. Being alone is an art, and like any art, it takes practice.
My Struggles
I struggled a lot with this. There were nights I cried because I couldn’t do anything alone. Moving to a new city away from my home forced me to learn this the hard way. It was difficult. And the truth is, life doesn’t guarantee anyone will always be there. At some point, we all end up alone.
When you start practicing being alone, disappointment comes a lot. You get upset with people, blame them, and fight with them. This is especially common in relationships. Couples fight because one person expects the other to be there all the time, which is impossible. People have their own lives. And when they can’t meet our expectations, we feel hurt and frustrated. Then the questions start piling up: Why can’t I do this on my own? Why can’t I go out alone? Why can’t I cook for myself? Why can’t I buy my own flowers? These questions are overwhelming, but they are also lessons. They force us to realize that we have been depending too much on others for our own happiness.
My Sister’s Advice
One day, I talked to my sister about this. I told her how disappointed I felt when people didn’t spend enough time with me. She said something simple but powerful: “Instead of getting disappointed about what others aren’t doing, do it for yourself.” That advice stuck with me. Because yes, it’s normal to feel sad when someone cancels plans. But instead of letting that sadness consume you, you can choose to do something that makes you happy. Not binge eating or endless scrolling, but something small, healthy, and meaningful. I started doing artwork, editing, and other creative things I enjoyed. Slowly, I started feeling lighter, calmer, and more confident. I realized that I don’t need anyone else to make my day special. I can make my own happiness.
What Changes When You Spend Time Alone
When you start spending time with yourself, life becomes simpler. You stop depending on others for your happiness. You start understanding yourself better. You mature. You handle disappointment more calmly. You stop blaming others for every little thing. And the best part? You start loving yourself.
Being alone doesn’t mean isolating yourself or avoiding relationships. It’s about knowing that even if people aren’t there, life doesn’t stop. You can still enjoy yourself, do things you love, and feel fulfilled. And the more you practice it, the less dependent you become on others for your joy. At first, it feels awkward. Eating alone, going to a café alone, or even just sitting quietly in your room, it feels strange. But little by little, it becomes empowering. You start realizing that you are enough. That you don’t need someone else to make your day special. And that feeling is incredible.
So, if you’re scared of being alone, know that it’s normal. Everyone feels like this at some point. But don’t run from it. Start small. Take yourself on a walk. Eat alone without distractions. Try a café by yourself. Yes, your mind will scream at first, and it will feel awkward, but keep going. Over time, you’ll start enjoying your own company. You’ll realize you don’t need someone else to make your day good. You’ll gain confidence, maturity, and self-love. And most importantly, you’ll discover that the one person who will always be with you, no matter what, is yourself.
Being alone is hard. It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s also one of the most freeing and empowering things you can ever do.