Photo by Vivek Kumar on Unsplash
In today’s world, parenting has changed a lot. Many parents now follow a pattern that is known as “soft parenting”. This style mainly focuses on being gentle, understanding, and emotionally supportive to your children. Parents try to avoid shouting, punishing, or being strict. Instead, they try to talk to their children and solve their problems through understanding.
At first, this sounds very positive. After all, every child needs love, care, and emotional support. For many years in the past, children were raised with very strict rules. They were scolded a lot, and their feelings were often ignored. So soft parenting came as a response to that. It encourages parents to listen to their children and to respect their emotions too.
However, like every idea, soft parenting also has another side. When it becomes too soft, children may grow up without discipline, responsibility, or the strength to handle difficulties in their lives. This leads to a surprising outcome. Which is, soft parents sometimes raise tough, stubborn, or emotionally weak children.
Why Did Soft Parenting Become Popular?
There are many reasons. Like today’s parents want to avoid the harshness they experienced in their own childhood. Mental health awareness has increased, so parents worry about hurting the feelings of their children. Social media shows ideal images of gentle and perfect parenting. Parents fear losing the love of their child, so they avoid saying “no”.
Because of these reasons, some parents begin to treat their child not only as a child, but almost like a friend. They try to keep the child happy all the time. But childhood is not only about happiness. It is also about learning how to deal with life.
The Hidden Problem: Lack of Boundaries
In “We Are Failing Our Children with Soft Parenting — And It Gets Worse” By Jessey Anthony, Medium, 2025, the author argues that the rise of “soft” or “gentle” parenting has unintentionally created a generation that struggles with responsibility, discipline, and emotional stability. While this parenting style began as a way to foster emotional intelligence and empathy, it has often turned into overindulgence disguised as love. Many parents are afraid of being “too strict” and now avoid setting firm boundaries, leaving children ill-prepared for real-world challenges.
Anthony connects this trend to broader social issues, from rising aggression and entitlement among teens to a lack of accountability in everyday life. The article emphasises that true care isn’t about removing discomfort but guiding children through it, teaching resilience, self-control, and respect. Without structure, children fail to develop the emotional and behavioural discipline needed to handle failure, pressure, or criticism.
Ultimately, the piece serves as a wake-up call for us, that gentleness without guidance breeds fragility, while balanced parenting, which is rooted in empathy and firmness, builds one's character, responsibility, and emotional strength. Many children who grow up with soft parenting do not understand the meaning of rules, limitations and consequences. When a child never hears a “no,” they begin to believe that the world will always adjust to them. But in real life, schools have rules. Jobs have responsibilities. Ad people will not always agree with them. Problems will not disappear by crying.
So when these children face the real world, they struggle emotionally. Small challenges feel extremely big. Criticism feels like an attack to them. Disappointment feels unbearable. They have not learned how to be patient yet, how to work for something, or how to accept that things will not always go their way.
Children Need Balance, Not Extremes
This does not mean parents should be strict and harsh. And it also does not mean parents should allow everything. The healthiest parenting style is a balance. Like, be loving, but also teach them responsibility. Be understanding, but also say no to them when needed. Be supportive, but also allow the child to struggle sometimes.
Struggle is not always negative.
Struggle builds strength.
Imagine a plant growing indoors with no wind. It grows tall but weak. The moment a strong wind hits it, it breaks. But a plant that grows outside in natural wind becomes stronger over time.
Children are the same.
Where Soft Parenting Goes Wrong
Soft parenting becomes harmful when parents solve every problem for the child. The child is never allowed to fail or feel discomfort. The child’s wishes are always prioritised over rules. The child is never taught responsibility.
In this situation, children start showing anger when they don’t get what they want, they have difficulty in controlling their emotions, they have low patience, low tolerance for stress, and they also face difficulty in listening to instructions. Ironically, the child becomes emotionally weaker, not stronger.
What Children Actually Need
Children need love, attention, respect, guidance and boundaries. A child who grows up with the rules learns how to share, how to be patient, how to respect others, how to handle challenges, and how to take responsibility. These lessons are important for life.
Parents Must Remember that you’re a Parent First, Friend Second.
It is good to have a friendly relationship with your child. But your main duty is to guide, not to please. Being strict doesn’t mean being unkind. And being gentle doesn’t mean allowing everything. A strong parent is the one who can say, “I love you, but this behaviour is not acceptable.” “You are upset, I understand, but you still have to finish your work.” “You can be sad, but you cannot be disrespectful.” These small lessons shape a child’s character.
Conclusion
Soft parenting started with good intentions. Which were to raise emotionally healthy children. And it can do that when balanced with discipline and responsibility. But if parents become too gentle and avoid all forms of control or correction, children may grow up emotionally weak, impatient, and unable to handle real-life challenges.
So the goal should not be to be a “soft parent” or a “strict parent.” The goal should be to be a wise parent. One who loves deeply, teaches patiently, and shapes strong, kind, and responsible children.
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