No one likes being a doormat. But some people directly or indirectly live as someone's doormat. But firstly, it is important to know what is the exact meaning behind being a doormat of someone. If you say that someone is a doormat, you are saying it because they let other people treat them poorly, and do not argue or defend themselves when they are being treated unfairly. People-pleasing behavior initiates in childhood, when some parents praise a child for obeying them but discourage him or her for expressing themselves. A person who is being a doormat for someone always tries to please the other person, even if he or she is being mistreated very badly, this behavior can easily turn into a toxic lifestyle.
Psychologist Harriet Braiker explains that this approval-seeking behavior of a doormat person is ‘the disease to please’ because it's some form of obsession. If you allow people to mistreat you, you have practically become a doormat because you have put the other person's need above your own. This type of behavior can badly affect your psychological and physical health. A licensed psychologist, Julie Exline, explains that people-pleasing can lead to depression in some cases because the victim ignores his or her personal needs to complete other's desires all the time. If you have difficulty getting rid of these bad traits, you can use the following information as some guidance.
Five ways to stop being someone's doormat:
1. Assert Yourself More:
To break the cycle of being a doormat, begin to express your desires more often. You have to begin understanding your desires because otherwise, very fewer people will. Remember, other people's reactions to your needs and priorities have nothing to do with you, so don't take responsibility for them. And say it loud whenever you feel that your voice and needs are being suppressed by someone.
2. Practice Saying No:
Doormat people fear saying no to someone in fear of losing or disappointing the other person. ‘No’ doesn't mean you don't care about other's desires, it just means you value your own opinions and others enough to be truthful about what you can handle. It always feels good to stand for yourself, even if the other people looks like annoyed and disappointed at your reaction, you will feel a huge weight drop off your shoulders and you can even gain some newfound confidence and determination.
3. Reflect on why you feel the need to please others:
It is very important to first understand and think about your problem, and for that perhaps you need to go deep into your memory lanes and find the origin of your problem. While it can get tough to eliminate some beliefs, taking that initial step and reflecting on your behavior will help you solve the wars inside your mind to see your original self.
4. Think Before You Speak:
Whenever someone asks you for something or wants your assistance, don't call out a response just to satisfy them. Understand what they are exactly trying to convey before you offer a response. If someone asks you for any kind of commitment on the spot, tell them you will first think about it properly and will get back to them. By using this way, you can see if you really have time for the commitment and you can also ignore being an available people-pleaser for someone.
5. Practice Self-Love:
Doormats have low self-esteem and come to be obsessed with fulfilling other's needs. To avoid this, make sure that you create love for yourself so that you will automatically attract more supporting and loving people into your life who won't try to take advantage of your supportive nature and kindness. Love yourself first, and you will gradually boost your self-esteem. When you eliminate all the negative feelings about yourself, you can effortlessly stop existing as a doormat for someone.
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