This is a story of a girl - simple, lovable and sensitive. She never expected anything in return for what she gave others in her life. She is as compassionate as she wants to be treated, even with cruel people. She faced utter obscurity since her childhood, when she lost her father. She was too young at that time. Not even knowing that her life would drastically change after her father’s death. Her mother became everything to her; the one who fed her, protected her, and played the role of her father, too, with strength and silent sacrifices. As she grew, the small girl was made to face the criticism and the stereotypical people of her community to stop her from education and for a forced marriage. Being born in a Muslim family, she tried striving through every harsh phase, from taking a stand for studies to the turmoil that a person created in her life.

She asked- “Why I cannot study more and why must I marry so early?”
And the answer she got was cruel- “Because you are a fatherless daughter.”

Only her mother supported the education that was her dream. Striving without a father is something like a slow poison- something that weakens you a little more each day that you take till you die. We cannot change the perspective of the stereotypes; rather, people like this girl suffer in isolation. Isolation is not about being in a separate room and not interacting with people. This isolation is generally very different from what we already know. A person socialises, engages in worldly activities, the life seems so normal, but inside it is an ongoing war, A war between life and death. The outrageous fortunes of life compel one to end up and to sleep peacefully forever, but the thought of death also contrasts the failure, not because of what people think, but because of what the conscience asks.

Am I being a coward?  Will this bring back what I have lost?  Will it solve all the problems of my life?  Or will this prove that I was not worth living?

All these thoughts intermingle with the thought of living this life. The same struggle was going on in her mind – on one side, she was trying hard to fight all alone to strive for her life, on the other side, she was somewhere breaking from inside. There was a conflict going on in her mind. People think that cowards die, but they don’t actually realise how they may have fought their own battles. Sometimes, we smile and laugh out loud, but inside us, what’s going on is never revealed. She never talked about her internal war to her mother because she knew that her mother was also a sufferer without her husband. The girl kept on grasping things as time passed by. Burdened with tornadoes in her head, she was expecting peace from the surroundings, which was actually surpassing.

Soon, a day came when she met someone with whom she started expecting the same peace she had been searching for. She dedicated almost more than a decade to that person, hoping he would prove to be a prince in her life. But he was a narcissist disguised. For a fatherless girl and for the one who is all alone, that person targeted his focus on these circumstances. Soon, the hero of her life turned out to be an antagonist of her story. She wanted to fly high, her love for altitude, aviation, education and a philosopher all in vain because of that spineless man.

She is no longer the favourite of her family because she has been striving for her love for more than a decade, and in return, she is now the one who is even scared of thinking high and flying. The already suffering is now a crushed soul. She faced unbearable tortures and events that led her to disdain. Those sleepless nights, suicidal thoughts made her compressed totally. He kept her isolated and snatched her independence in all aspects. He ruined the sensitive soul that was once a blooming flower full of enthusiasm and positive spirit.

Her silence embarks the internal screaming that she is facing, but nobody can hear the roar of the destruction that echoes within her, which she is undergoing. How it feels when the person you gave the status of a prince, you gave all access to your life just to seek happiness in him, you just empty your soul. When you are a peace seeker and eventually get the worst out of it. She wanted to be an independent woman with a spirit of achieving success in life, a topper of the class, always gaining knowledge in different fields. In return, she got depression, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, and at the end of the day, faced the same trauma even after leaving him.

His wish is to crush her down till death, to crush her hope of further living her life without him, her hope of healing and the hope of regaining consciousness. That person is in himself a great disaster, a manipulator, a narcissist, and a great spoiler. She tried and tried to stay out from him, but he compelled her to stay time to time. He destroyed her beyond the boundaries, but look at the strength and spirit that she still managed to come out of her destruction when no one was there. She could not even speak her utterances, but had to bear the consequences.

Her patience and faith kept her thriving in her life. She knew that whatever she had lost because of him would never come back, even in disguise. She lost her faith, love, more than a decade, success, job, achievements, affection, family, happiness and almost everything which is indescribable. Nobody can bring back her precious years in which she could have been a successful woman. Even if he wants, he too cannot bring back those days, months, years and moments of her life back.

She is fragile but faithful, she is the sufferer yet honest, she is the one who lost almost everything but still has hope of getting things better. She is the warrior of her own life’s battle. She is stronger than before. Her spirit to keep going is unbeatable. She still has faith in rebuilding life, reviving it for the best possible future. Even after facing the uncertainties and health issues, without anyone’s help consoling her own self. Remembering her father and thinking that if he were there, then no man could have dared to spoil her to this extent.

Her story gives us a glimpse of pessimism and optimism, both intertwined with her spirit for not giving up on life and still to continue from wherever she can. If not as perfect as she had hoped, but to kick start herself, learning to recognise her worth that where she stands in life, what she can collect, and how she can join the pieces of her soul that were crushed before. Indeed, time cannot be re-created, but the spirit of livelihood and never giving up makes a lot of difference.

By bearing patience, one can learn the lessons of life, even if change seems impossible. The strength of recollecting oneself is the powerhouse in these circumstances. We learn from our mistakes when we choose the wrong person in our lives. But it is in our hands how we come out of it. Some women are trapped with these types of men, and others find the strength to come out of their trap.

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