What do anxiety and depression look like? Messy hair and disoriented eyes? Not always. At least not for ‘new moms’ because they have to look great while fighting their demons of baby blues.

Becoming a mother is surely a blessing, but it doesn’t come free. A woman has to pay the price for it—physically, mentally and emotionally. From the very start of pregnancy, a woman’s body and mind undergo numerous changes. From weight gain to stretch marks, water retention to extreme nausea, it takes it all from her to nourish a baby and all that is considered the bare minimum in a healthy pregnancy. If not, it is followed by a list of further complexities.

However, the pregnancy phase is just the beginning of the roller coaster ride that her body prepares for—The D-day! Be it a normal delivery or a planned C-section, in both ways, a woman is ripped apart in the process of bringing a new life into this world. Excruciating delivery pain, spinal injection, tears, episiotomy, stitches and whatnot, a mother accepts them all with a big smile on her face only for the sake of her baby and forgets everything when she sees the baby for the first time.

But later, that smile starts fading away gradually when post-partum blues kick in. That’s when the new mom needs utmost support. Multiple factors add up to her anxiety post-delivery. Despite issues like delivery trauma, body pains, post-partum bleeds, huge hormonal changes and sleep deprivation, the new mom has to take up the whole responsibility of a newborn and on top of it, has to be perfect in handling it. All these things build social and mental pressure on her. While struggling to manage the newly found motherhood, she often loses control of her own life and mental being.

To perform mother duties even in acute pain is quite challenging. The complete change in the lifestyle of a woman after the arrival of the little bundle of joy is also intimidating. Thus, it takes a toll on her mental health. So, it is recommended to follow some dos and don’ts if there is a new mom in the house.

The Do’s

First and foremost, providing her body a rest for at least 6 weeks, which is a doctor-recommended duration for her inner wounds to heal [the wound left after taking out the placenta is the size of a plate!]. The 2-2-2 theory proves to be a relief wherein the new mother should spend 2 weeks in bed, 2 weeks on bed and 2 weeks around bed. Taking care of her needs, helping her with daily chores and feeding her rthe ight food to regain energy are some must-to-do things that should be followed by the family members. Listening to the new mom’s grievances, understanding her irritability and giving her a helping hand can do wonders for her mental health.

While these things can help a mother abundantly, sometimes, it is still not enough. Many women require clinical examination and treatment for post-partum depression. If left unchecked, it can lead to serious outcomes for both the mother and the baby. A distressed mother is unable to take care of the newborn and can also develop negative thoughts about it. So, it is necessary in such cases to consult a psychologist and get the right treatment for the depressed mother. It is also crucial for the mother to accept and speak about her disturbed mental health. Brushing it under the carpet for the sake of maintaining family peace or pretending to appear normal won’t help.

Fortunately, there are a few things that can be done to save the new mother from compromising her mental health, and the best among them is love. In this regard, a husband’s role comes to the top. He must ensure that his wife is loved and cared for enough. Especially when it comes to her body changes. Appreciating the post-partum body as a sign of a sacrifice and considering it as a beautiful change gives a sense of security and confidence to the new mom. Splitting night duties for the baby, applauding wife for going through the pains, etc, are certain things which must be done by the husband.

The Don’ts

Families who stand up for their daughters-in-law in this crucial mental phase are always backed by a happy mother, ot just physically but mentally too. Hence, it is extremely important to avoid any ill comment or comparison of the mother with the other women who gave birth while the former struggles to do her best. Never make her feel that she is less of a mother in any way or that the baby is not as healthy as other infants.

Body-shaming the mother and judging her baby for anything must also be considered offensive and avoided completely. There is truly no need to ask why her baby’s skin tone is different from the parents or why it has small eyes. In the same way, comparing the new mom’s appearance to her previous self or to suggest her to be independent in handling the baby, as the earlier generations used to do, makes no sense in the era of today. Using technologies and new ideas for making one’s ‘mom life’ easy must always be encouraged. There is no shame in taking any kind of support, either for the baby or for oneself.

Takeaway

Remember, good mental health lets a new mother enjoy her motherhood to the core, while a bad one just makes it one of her biggest nightmares ever. Ask yourselves if a new mom is as important as her baby, and the answer must be—Absolutely! Of course, the baby is extremely important and a delicate being that needs a lot of love, care and protection, but so does the new mom. Her motherhood journey should also be made easy and happy because a happy mother leads to a happy baby and hence, a happy family. 

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