Closure is more than finding healing in the answers we seek, but more in the strength we discover within. It is finding peace in the present despite the shadows of the past. The canvas for growth challenges us to redefine our idea of closure, not as an external resolution but as an internal state of acceptance. In Mental Health Awareness Programs, closure is defined as the psychological sense of resolution or completion that follows a painful or confusing experience, such as a breakup, job loss, or death. It is the finality that allows a person to accept what has happened, process their emotions, and redirect their emotional and mental health towards the present and the future. Awareness of closure highlights that it is not a destination but a journey of self-healing that can only be self-generated.

Sheryl Kara Sandberg, an American technology executive, philanthropist, and writer, once spoke deeply from her heart by quoting that: “We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” This came from her personal experience of overcoming grief and seeking closure on the death of her spouse, Dave Goldberg, during a vacation in 2015 while she was still COO of Facebook (now Meta). His unexpected death shattered her emotionally, and she described the grief as a void that drained the life out of her and swallowed everything. For weeks, she could not work and struggled to function to a point where she feared she would never find emotional stability again. She repeatedly searched for closure—wanting answers on why Dave died, reasons, if any, she could have prevented it, and if maybe someone else would have died instead. But no straight answers were forthcoming, and she was sinking into depression.

She sought professional help from a therapist who guided her to understand the what and not dwell on the why. This brought her peace and clarity that it was inevitable and beyond her control. By accepting the loss without a full explanation, she was able to process her emotions. From this self-awareness, she began journaling her thoughts and eventually became preoccupied with activities that kept her whole and busy as she reevaluated her goals. Her support systems helped her rebuild her life as a single mother, and life found new meaning. This practice in self-generated healing—rather than waiting for emotional certainty—became the foundation of her growth and her desire for philanthropy. She found love again and gave marriage a second chance. She emphasized that closure is not the end of grief but the beginning of self-strength.

Importance of Closure in Mental Health

Closure promotes emotional healing by helping individuals process difficult emotions like sadness, anger, and guilt. It encourages personal growth by allowing them to reflect on and make sense of past events, gaining self-awareness from the lessons learned. It reduces stress and anxiety by resolving issues that cause emotional turmoil when one remains stuck in the past. Closure facilitates acceptance, helping individuals come to terms with reality and create a sense of calm.

What Are the Myths Associated With Closure?

Closure matters because it helps you move forward; however, it is not a fairytale walk in the park. It is not dependent on others, so do not always expect an apology or explanation. It is not a magical cure, so do not expect the pain to disappear instantly. Healing is a process; it is not linear, and painful memories may occasionally resurface. Some things will always remain unresolved, and definitive answers may never come. It is important to seek professional help through therapists or counselors who can provide a safe space to navigate and process difficult emotions. This often helps individuals find their own path toward peace and resilience.

Strategies for Finding Self-Generated Closure

Journaling helps you express, organize, and release emotions, providing clarity without needing confrontation. Consciously reframing the narrative allows you to shift perspective—focusing not on what went wrong but on the broader lessons learned. Creating new experiences through hobbies, friendships, and goals helps build a new story and identity separate from the painful past. Leaning on your support system by talking only to trusted individuals offers comfort and different perspectives, reducing feelings of isolation. Practising acceptance shifts energy from fighting what happened to allowing healing. Redirecting energy into healthcare—nurturing physical and mental wellbeing, practicing mindfulness, grounding techniques, or engaging in joyful activities—strengthens recovery. Acting on your values by taking purposeful steps that align with who you are becoming is essential.

John Kim, LMFT, licensed therapist and author, reminds us to take ownership of our healing journey. Closure is not a destination but a lifelong process of growth and self-discovery. It does not mean forgetting but understanding what happened. You discover strength within closure by accepting that letting go and moving on matters more than projecting fantasies of what could have been—and by realizing not every question will be answered. Forgiving makes letting go less painful and allows movement forward. Losing illusions helps you become wiser and live your truth, even when some apologies will never be given.

While time may not heal all wounds, distance can lessen their sting. Do not dwell too much on the “why.” Overthinking is one of the biggest causes of unhappiness. Keeping yourself occupied and avoiding thoughts that hinder optimism helps ease emotional strain. The Nyumbani Julisha Consultants Wellness Life Coaching Desk offers a mantra on closure: Becoming is endless... a journey in which the foundations of truth you must keep. It is in the rooted heart that deeper soil and truth are found. The trials will test your tone, but you must keep walking on your own path.

Life is not about holding onto everyone. It is about recognizing the few who hold onto you and see your soul beyond just the smile or sadness. Like seasons, people come and go—some arrive like spring, bright, warm, and full of promises; others leave like winter storms, sudden, heavy, and without warning. Holding on to the “why” for too long stops you from moving forward. Often, the battles that drain us were never meant to withstand the storm in the first place.

May the journey of closure propel your growth as you let go of what keeps slipping from your hands. Trust that you can still stand, move, and thrive. Is everything lost a setback? No. Sometimes it is an invitation to walk lighter and finally step forward. When peace speaks louder than panic, follow it.

References

• John Kim, LMFT, Licensed therapist and author
• Nyumbani Julisha Consultants Wellness Life Coaching Desk

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