RE-DIRECTION IN THE DENIAL

Redirection in the denial involves choosing how to respond, as opposed to just reacting. It is said that the mouth is a mirror of the soul, and what spills out of us reflects what fills us. In a therapeutic context, re-direction means diverting someone from a negative or distressing activity to a more positive and constructive one.

The 2 most common types of redirection we face in our everyday lives are : Behavioural redirection, where psychological therapy techniques are used to reframe certain situations. i.e.. They are asking a child to use a quiet voice instead of shouting.

General redirection in physical objects, where the path is changed, such as diverting traffic or moving resources to a different area.
General redirection in abstract concepts where one steps back from one idea to focus on another, e. g politicians or artists changing focus to different topics or genres.

Denial or rejection is merely redirection. It is a course rejection to your destiny, and perseverance is key- Bryant McGill. Despite the unending denial or rejection, only you can continue to build your own vision. Allow the silence to fuel you to keep creating. Every original version of anything will always begin as misunderstood, doubted and dismissed.

Real-life scenarios of redirection in the denial and rejection :

Thomas Edison, American Inventor and Founder of General Electric Corporation, famously failed to make a working electric bulb about 999 times but was eventually successful on his 1000th attempt. He never gave up in his quest but continued to be focused and relentless in his pursuit of greatness. While he was imaginative and inquisitive, he had difficulty hearing and was considered a misfit. He had to change his direction then to compensate by reading the written instructions so he could comfortably and comprehensively grasp the required concepts for his inventions.

His most famous quote - I have not failed, but just found out 10,000 ways that will not work. He therefore reframes failure as a process of elimination, with each attempt revealing a method that does not work, and eventually, he is guided closer to a solution.

Thomas Edison’s mindset of perseverance illustrates that failure is a necessary part of the inventive and success process and that perseverance is key.

Everybody desires to travel out of their countries and experience different cultures abroad. However, visa challenges often cut short the trips and can leave an individual eternally frustrated, emotional and financially broken. However, when you take the time to understand the reasons for the visa rejections, the subsequent applications could be successful.

Hadassah, a young CEO of her own company, desired to travel to the United States for a vacation. She was to be hosted by a friend, Makedah, for the 2 weeks, and she had even offered to pay for her ticket. Excitedly, they filled out the application and gathered the necessary documentation and attached the precious invite, and on the interview day, Hadassah presented herself. However, within 2 minutes, the interview was over, and the pink rejection slip was handed to her. Reason for denial: She had not demonstrated enough ties to come back home after her vacation. For 3 months, she swallowed in pity, unable to fathom the denial.

Eventually, she had to get a grip of herself and control her emotions so she could go back to her application packet and analyse why she was rejected to be granted the visa. She also employed the services of a competent travel consultant to guide her on the next application. They were able to find out that the invitation and offer to pay flight ticket were not enough. Hadassah had not demonstrated that she was equally capable of paying for her own trip because her bank statement was insufficient. She could not show timely and consistent payments or account activity, which she addressed, and she started channelling funds into the account to build a good bank balance.

She was also able to provide a good itinerary of the places she intended to visit while on vacation. In the previous application, she had not indicated this and only stated that she would be hosted at Makedah’s house. These changes gave weight to her application, and 6 months later, she made a new application and the visa was granted. All this was possible because she tamed her emotions and redirected her energy to do much more proper research.

How can redirection mitigate challenging behaviour following denial or rejection?

By proactively shifting an individual’s focus from the desired, unavailable item to an appropriate alternative activity, this approach prevents escalation of unnecessary emotional and physical tantrums. It offers a different path forward rather than just enforcing a refusal, so there is still a sense of control.

In the case of young children who have limited language skills and struggle with abstract concepts like “no”, the strategy is to turn a potential confrontation into a choice. Give them an option such as, “No, you cannot have that cookie right now, but you can choose between a yoghurt and an apple.”

This respects and acknowledges the child's needs but informs and empowers them to understand that another replacement works best at the moment. This helps to reduce feelings of frustration and helplessness.

Strategies for using redirection :

Use verbal prompts to provide clear positive instructions. Instead of a negative command such as “Do not touch that, you will spoil it…” Try a positive one like “Be gentle with the toy so you do not break it apart…”

Acknowledgement of feelings, then redirect by briefly validating their frustrations before offering an alternative. “I know you said you cannot go out to ride your bike because the brakes are not working. Let us go and play football instead.

Shift the activity by offering a preferred alternative so one has a choice. “We cannot play with that right now. Would you like to play with the blocks or the puzzle?”

Keep the alternatives similar as you change the setting. If a child is denied a chance to run around inside, redirecting them to run outside is often more effective than asking them to sit down.

A new environment breaks the cycle of fixation and introduces new and interesting stimuli. Use a physical cue by involving another person to distract focus positively, or by introducing a new item.

Benefits of redirection :

Prevents meltdowns before they escalate into full tantrums or outbursts. Builds positive habits when one learns what to do instead of just what not to do.

Promotes positive relationships and supports critical skills development for navigating frustrations such as making choices and practising self-regulation

Redirection in the denial and rejection teaches us that :

Not everything needs a reaction to express anger and frustration in the moment. We must allow some silence to give space so that we can think calmly and then figure out how to respond.

In redirection management is reactive while design is proactive. While most people will only manage their time, smart people will design their time.

Nyumbani Julisha Consultants Wellness Life Coaching Desk reiterates that in moments of redirection, do not be like glass, which breaks upon falling. Be like a ball so that when you hit the ground, you rebound with even greater strength, soaring higher than your original height.

Echoes Of Insight Publications: “Water does not resist its flow. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress because it is not a solid wall to stop you. It is patient in the way it drips and wears away stones. We are all half water. If you cannot go through an obstacle, then go around it as water does.

References :

. . .

Discus