Our brain operates on rules that we've built for ourselves based on the world around us and what it has taught us through lessons as well as experiences. It is in ways similar to an operating system that has been constructed in a way that monitors and performs tasks according to how it has been functioning.
For most people, it is easy to navigate through daily life experiences and tasks because their operating system of the brain works efficiently. But for some, it is not quite a piece of cake but a giant slice of a humongous cake to make their way through because they do not function like others.
When we talk about people on the meirodivergent spectrum, there are several ways to define them. Based on either their communication skills or motor skills, the way they perform in life can be a giant Ferris wheel of uncertainty. It is quite unpredictable and for many people not understandable.
Let us return to the example of operating systems correlating with the human brain. Assuming that most people run on the "Windows" operating system, it appears that when it comes to autistic people, they run on the "macOS" operating system. This implies that it doesn't mean that autistic people's brains function wrongly, instead just differently as compared to all of ours.
We have thoughts. Thoughts that we can filter out. Thoughts that we can allow to be thought without the buzz of a background noise. For autistic people, this filter works in a slightly different manner. They do not have the ability to simply ignore the radio noises. They hear it, feel it to a degree much higher than an average person.
Autistic people tend to experience sensory overloads on severe levels. We all have had the feeling of a room being too warm or someone's voice being too loud, but it doesn't bother us too much on an everyday basis. The same can't be said for those with autism. For autistic people, sensory overload is nothing short of manic.
The hum of a fridge is as loud as a jet engine, or the sound of chalk against a blackboard is as if the screeching of a wicked witch. The autistic brain heightens all these sensations, and it can result in extreme frustration and irritation. Control needs to be implemented with high force or something like a sensory overload that is too simple for us, which can become the beginning of a worse episode for them. A lot of autistic people tend to deal with sensory overloads as such by opting for methods, including spinning round and round, a distraction from a world that's way too loud.
When it comes to socialising, there are certain unwritten rules. You have to make the correct amount of eye contact to not appear intimidating or uninterested. You ought to use sarcasm, but only at the right places or moments, or else it creates a recipe for disaster. We behave and speak according to our surroundings, gradually growing up to become fluent in reading the room.
These social cues aren't as familiar to autistic people. They do not understand how to use sarcasm or the correct timing for eye contact. They are quite blunt and direct with their statements, not believing in sugar coating like the rest of us. For them, learning the "correct" behaviour for a society is a draining practice. Their social battery is easily exhaustive and that is why socialising becomes a giant task instead of merely being a part of their lives.
In a study, an Autism Spectrum Disorder child was given 16 task-related games after a month of observation by parents, teachers, and an investigator. After this treatment in the guise of games, the child was once again observed thrice by using an observation schedule on the social skills of ASD children. 18 such sessions were conducted for the child by his family, teacher, and investigator, and it was found that an improvement happened in the child's playing and communication skills as well as his emotional quotient. After the completion of the treatment, the child could follow verbal cues and became interested in playing with children his age.
Because of the rarity of studies performed on autistic children, there have been very few assumptions and methods that have been adopted that can help determine how they can become better at socialising. The above-referred study shows that at a very young age, when a child shows signs of being on the spectrum, with involvement from parents and experts, leaps and bounds of growth can be achieved.
The key is not put unnecessary pressure on them to fulfil societal expectations. Autistic people, of any and every age group, need to be allowed to have the liberty to be their own person. They require attention and an adequate amount of practice to be able to learn the things that come to us by instinct. Their frustration or annoyance must be dealt with calmly. It is very important that they realise that, because they have to learn things manually, it doesn't mean that they cannot learn.
To teach socialising to autistic people, we need to learn to socialise with them first.
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