It wasn't done in a moment of spontaneity. Weeks of drained-out evenings and nights. Mornings and afternoons are filled with diligent practice. It was tedious each time, but her eyes were set on the prize. No distractions, no shortcomings. If any missteps were leading towards the plan, there would be major consequences. Disappointments that would cause her a lifetime of regrets.
The week was almost over. The unlimited tests were done with, and it was time for the results to arrive. She had performed well; it was difficult to celebrate the little wins, but this week had been an ideal one, without any mistakes or mental warnings. Followed by a little ping, the laptop screen lit up with the test scores she had been anticipating. It was brilliant progress, so much higher than last week. It called for celebration, how joyful she felt. A little victory leading to the giant one she had been working for all these months.
Monday. A list on the notice board she always wished to be on top of. A long one, she supposed, since her eyes dragged down to the very bottom, and her name was nowhere to be found. It wasn't normal. However tough the whole week had been, she was always on the top achievers' list. Meanwhile, they were all there. All her peers, the ones she sat next to, and she could picture their beaming faces looking at the list that proclaimed their hard work to be fruitful.
Friday. A long week of classes and re-learning the same concepts over and over. Her health was deteriorating; no amount of hours put in seemed to work, and the awful scores were the only thing on her mind. Eating felt wasteful, talking felt unnecessary. Locking herself up in her chamber of lonely studying with only the echo of her own voice was the best option.
The clock turned, and it only got worse. Nothing she did brought her joy. A deposition of an incomplete future hung upon her head, dragging her down and down towards the ground. She was miles away from the world that cared for her. Here, everybody was cruel, everybody was distant.
It wasn't done in a moment of spontaneity; months of degradation led her to this moment. When her best attempts weren't good enough, what was the point anymore? So, with a drop of a few feet too high and on a ground a bit too concrete, her life was gone, just like that.
Such is the story of many a student who is sent away from their homes to fulfill a dream that promises lifelong success. In the meantime, the joys and simple pleasures of life they knew as a young one are gone and gone. Down the gutter it goes, the sweetness of learning from mistakes and the harsh reality of life are plastered onto their fragile minds. Their wild souls are captured in cages. Even when they make such a choice on their own, they are met with linearity in days that are meant to be unpredictable.
Mentors and guides, who tell them the difference between right and wrong. Who tells them that living like a normal, feeling human is a sin and that they should forget being the person they are and compare? Always compare. Compare yourself with your peers and juniors, and seniors. With those who have achieved everything that you work for. Because what are you doing if not fitting into the pre-defined mould they've created for you? If you give yourself the choice to be malleable, you are undisciplined and not serious enough.
Studies show that over 2 lakh students from all over India come to coaching hubs like Kota to prepare for competitive exams like JEE and NEET. The suicide rates among these students have remained consistently high over the years. According to reports, 30-35% students in Kota experience extreme mental stress and anxiety.
There is a doubt that we've heard of someone, perhaps a friend of a friend, who took their life in the wake of distress caused by failure to meet the deep-seated expectations of the Indian society. When the promise of a bright future becomes lethal in such a way, the singular promise of protecting our country's youth turns into dust.
The trap that has been built to turn youngsters with creative minds into somewhat robotic, unfeeling creatures is too golden to be recognized as one. They need encouragement to follow their passions and bring to the table something they are good at instead of pushing them to pursue something wildly beyond their abilities and interests. What's the point of building for them a future that might not even exist?
The insignificance that we attach to mental health as compared to physical health is another major reason that their struggles remain unseen. These students deserve to know that only their best attempts are to be recognized, not the ones that push them over the edge. It is sickening to raise them into people who understand, just to crush them down into a mush of believing the world to be only cruel and barbaric.
There is no bright future, if not a kind present. There are no milestones achieved, if no downfalls encountered. A life celebrated is the biggest success.