Life changed the day the “good student” entered Class 11.

Both my parents were teachers. My mother taught in a school, and my father was a principal. Expectations were never spoken, but they were always present. Education was not just important in our house; it was the foundation of everything.

During the day, my parents taught at school. In the evenings, our home became a place of learning. Students from nearby areas and even distant neighbourhoods came to study. In the middle of all this was me, expected to live up to the same standards.

After Class 10, preparing for JEE felt like the obvious choice. Not because I dreamed of IIT, but because I had no idea what else to do. I had no clarity about my passion.

Ironically, I did have interests as a child. I loved art and craft, and once ran a small YouTube channel just for fun. I enjoyed storytelling and shooting videos of ants, toy cars, and everyday objects using my father’s old Nokia phone, later upgraded to my mother’s Motorola. At the time, I didn't realise this was creativity. I only knew it made me happy.

All of that stopped when Class 11 began.

I joined a dummy school: no school life, no friends, no activities. My days revolved around JEE coaching from morning to afternoon. I returned home immediately after coaching, partly because I felt my mother would be alone, and partly because I had nowhere else to go. My world became very small.

At first, when I did not understand concepts, I took help from my parents. But as the syllabus advanced and the pace increased, I began to struggle silently. Shame took over. Instead of asking for help, I withdrew into myself.

I started studying topics early in the morning before coaching so that I could survive the classes. I pretended to understand during lectures and tried again at home. It became a cycle of confusion and exhaustion.

Every weekend, there were tests. I never skipped them. Many students cheated, but I did not. My ranks were poor, and my marks were worse. What scared me the most was not the results,

but the message sent to my father by the coaching institute. I used to wait anxiously to delete it, but he always called the institute directly.

Those two years were emotionally unbearable.

The guilt a 17-year-old middle-class child feels is difficult to describe. You know your parents are doing everything for you, and you know you are failing them. I did not want success anymore. I just wanted time to pass.

I failed to clear JEE.

I felt like I had completely disappointed my parents. But instead of blaming me, they encouraged me to try again. I took a drop year.

That year changed everything. For the first time, I actually understood what was being taught. Perhaps I had matured, or perhaps failure had removed the fear. I cleared JEE and secured admission to a good government college in my hometown. It was not IIT, but it was enough.

College felt liberating. I enjoyed those four years and worked hard on coding. I believed effort would always be rewarded.

Then placement season arrived, along with an IT recession.

Seniors with minimal skills got placed early, while I struggled despite consistent effort. I went to Bangalore with printed resumes and visited startups, but nothing worked out. I returned home feeling like I had wasted my father’s money yet again.

The last company visited our campus near the end of placements. Only three students were selected.

I was one of them.

I still remember that afternoon when my parents found out. We did not say much. We just hugged. That moment made everything feel worth it.

I have now spent one and a half years in the IT industry, and I have realised that this is not where my heart lies.

What I truly love is writing and stand-up comedy. I enjoy writing jokes and observing life closely. Financially, this path has given me nothing so far. I have earned zero money from my passion, and the uncertainty is frightening.

My days are exhausting. I wake up early, write jokes, work long hours at the office, and then go to open mics at night. It is tiring, but it makes me happy.

I am still figuring things out. I do not have all the answers. But when I look back at my journey, I feel grateful.

Life has taught me one thing. Everything happens for a reason. We may not understand it immediately, but if we keep moving forward and embrace uncertainty, a new path will always emerge.

And sometimes, that is enough.

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