Being very raw and honest, I used to think as a child storm is something that only happens in nature, outside, and they could be prevented by shutting the windows. But then I started to realise slowly that storms can happen inside as well- inside the cold, thick walls and shut windows of a family too. We still belong to a society where parents teach us that our mettle in creativity can be our passion, not a secure profession, and that we are not talented enough to make it our profession. Instead of cheering up, many of us were discouraged through their prejudiced lens. My grandfather, when he was a youth, played flute with mastery and was enthusiastic about playing sitar too. But his father had harshly scolded and scorned him like – “huh ! Will play Sitar! Go and study, become a doctor!”, well, my grandfather felt that there is no one as cruel in the world as his father. Then he actually became a renowned doctor, with quite a claim to success and international honour received too, and he thanks his father. But I wonder, had he not chosen to be doctor, had he followed the musical path, his journey could have been so colourful and vivid, because when you do something you are passionate about, it does not feel like toiling, it comes effortlessly and even the parts that require practice and hard work, it does not feel like burden because of the ardour one carries for the things they love. 

The encouragement that is received is the bare minimum, which will, time and again, remind you to go for the path that is commonly followed in the name of security. You will be called unrealistic or short of talent to bring passions to the fore. You will be encouraged to write on social media, encouraged to sing for a program or two, but never encouraged to go in for multiple competitions, for publishing books, to carry on solely as an artist, and for being asked to be financially helped on that, you will have to face a raging storm, too, with a half-hearted agreement, forget about moral support. Most families carry tradition, highlight certain professions and declare achieving them as success. Your doctor, scientist or engineer cousins will be called successful, but your literary feats, no matter how beautiful or honourable, will take a back seat.  

On the contrary, your worth will be questioned- What have you done in your entire life? But the thing is – we have to fight against those years of worthlessness and the limiting beliefs they have injected into our brains; it is like breaking a cage and its shackles to finally fly free. And my partner has actually helped me in this entire process of breaking that limiting, dull and diminished self-image my family had made of me, the feeling of being lesser than anyone. Our brain and potential can have maximised function only when we are not in survival mode, trying to prove, trying to fight, striving constantly for what we want, getting chaos, noise and drama instead of warmth, support or understanding. He made me realise that every writer, singer has their unique voice (actually every artist has their own unique expression) and that is to be embraced, that is to be showcased and valued, he helped me get my spark and flow back when I was constantly criticised not just by outside voices, but inside voices, from family to.

 Breaking the walls built to finally trust yourself, your work, to trust genuine people, really takes time, and he constantly helped me until my walls were down, I could breathe finally, as something in me exhaled. My nervous system started to feel safe- like you can sleep in peace knowing you are loved. The staunch dislike and constant shouts within the four walls, believe me, the voice of a person you love and trust brings your nervous system out of that mess and calms it down like a medicine. Then his constant inspiration, guidance, playful laughter and jokes to not make the tone entirely heavy because facing the family is already heavy, so that light-heartedness actually heals the inner child. Yes, he healed my inner child – kind of parented me. Parented me like a serious guardian? No, healed me by being a child with me- yes, an inner child needs another person with an inner child and their innocence together heals, a companion a child always needed but got after years. And once the child in you finds love and acceptance, when it feels safe and warm, it can finally give you that childlike optimism- “yes I can try new things, yes I can achieve anything, the highest star in heaven too, nothing is impossible if we try, we have the wings of faith”. That optimism leads you onward- pessimism, self-doubt, doubt in the universe drags you down. When we are so crystal clear about what we want, the universe actually conspires to help us, yes your desires get attracted to you. And about the law of attraction and manifestation, one has to be clear and fixated on what one wants and not wavering- the universe blesses specificity and not something blurry. And start acting like it is already happening to you- once your subconscious mind gets into that “it is happening” mode instead of “when will it happen, when will my time come” mode, your wish fulfilment will get unblocked and bolstered faster than ever. Another point is that say more in affirmatives than in negations. If we say, “ I do not want to be late for work”, the universe keeps reflecting that vibration of “late”. Instead, we should say –“ I want to go to work early”, and that vibration of the word early will keep repeating, get into your subconscious, and actually help you go early for work. So say more of what you want than what you don’t want. That saying of counting your blessings more than your burdens- yes, it matters, it changes your entire aura, the more light you carry inside, the more light you also attract. And yes, before coming to that light phase, you have to fight the inner shadows- self-doubt, fear, overthinking and limiting beliefs of what ifs and what nots, anger, procrastination, victim mindset and whatnot. We have to rise above with faith, love, peace, confidence, action and thinking of “ I can do it”. On top of that, the way my partner said every time – we got this, no matter what, let’s keep going”, “ you never were meant to carry this alone”, that is another level of healing to our mind. And once the mind and aura change, our body and cells start healing automatically- you’ll feel like a rebirth. 

Also, when we come to the rewiring of the brain, yes, we can actually choose to be happy; happiness is a mindset. Our brain does not choose negativity or happiness on purpose; it chooses patterns and familiarity. If our brain is fed with constant chaos, insecurity, feeling shadowed, drama, and anxiety, then it learns to find familiarity in it, and melancholy becomes its habit. Neuroscience shows that the brain strengthens the pathways we use most often. This is called Hebbian learning, often summarised as “neurons that fire together wire together.” So if stress, worry, or self-criticism become daily patterns, our brain simply becomes efficient at producing them.

But the same mechanism works in our favour.

Research from Richard J. Davidson at the University of Wisconsin–Madison Centre for Healthy Minds shows emotional states like compassion and wellbeing can be trained through repetition, just like any other mental skill. So indeed we can choose to be happy, feel love, harmony and peace regularly with conscious practice, our thoughts and actions, even small steps matter and actually rewire our brain, to use those neurons to carry light and optimism. So this rewiring, this operation can indeed be done to our nervous system- that is what helped me not just cope but to utilise my potential with a healthy mindset. And mindfulness- one work at a time instead of multitasking- that actually heals the brain. Multitasking becomes a necessity in a fast-moving world with ta ight schedule, but on the con side, it actually gradually eats away and slowly damages our brain and its healthy functioning if we keep on juggling work for a long time. Mindfulness, giving laser focus to one work at a time, helps our brain, and I slowly started reducing the times I multitasked with focussing more on one work at a time. Mindful eating too helps our body a lot- focusing on the food, gratitude to nature and the divine, feeling the sensations in the body while eating, helps in not only digestion but to absorb the energy or “oorja” of the food in every cell, reinvigorating our body and rejuvenating our mind. So I started thinking while eating – this food is nourishing me, it is making me healthier, my body is becoming youthful and energetic- and this was not immediate magic, and just like practising joy in habits makes it a familiarity in the rain, similarly this healing practice slowly brings positive changes in the body. Seeds sown do not become plants overnight, it turns into a garden with watering and nourishment. And this patience and faith- this too is inculcated within me by my love. He helped me in multiple ways, introspection, realisation, knowledge is one thing, but having the perseverance, the patience to follow it, not just for one day but every single day, is another thing. So actually I brought in these healthy changes, along with meditating ( I like it, but he reinforced it even more, he always encourages you to meditate, rise above lower frequencies, connect to divine energies and quiet the mind, because that is how we can maximise and harness not only our spiritual power, but its effect is on our work potential). These actually helped me ooze out with more creative and unique work and ideas, and also to participate with confidence in writing competitions and continue with singing side by side. So belonging to a family that only keeps you in boundaries, when you are control you are praised and being a rebel to follow your dreams, to go for that journey away makes you the selfish villain, divine helped me see the storm as an opportunity to be independent from them, to help me utilise my creative work as not just my passion but to help me in my way to being economically independent so that I can follow the path I wish to and not one dictated or forced. And my partner is my biggest rock anchor and pillar in this journey after Divine and universe, and a few well-wishers who support my write-ups, thoughts and philosophy on varied topics that I share, but for that very thing, I am grateful because the support that I get from the universe and my partner means the world to me. So it is my message to all budding dreamers- see the journey is not going to be a piece of cake- if you get your family’s support, it is a great blessing, but if not, and convincing too is not helping- dreamers don’t give up on the dream!! Try to find a path to it, a way to earn and support yourself. You can take time, but do not give up ever, let that fire stay ignited !! And storm comes not to break you- but to set your path clear and free you, towards all that you desire. They come to make you more valiant, more faithful, and filled with fire, to wear off any bit of weakness you had that was hindering you from your dreams. 

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