Human Machines!
Are you realising?
On a routine basis, we come across many people in our lives. We are able to gel up with few while with some we can't. Still, people try to find an accomodative space. People should try exploring new people in their lives as you never know with whom you can resonate on the same chords. Generally, people who become 'friends' to each other are found to have been sharing similar characteristics of vibe and union at heart.
With time, we either proceed in blossoming a relationship or surviving from the boredom that has erupted out of the relationships. No matter how much people say that we should not judge things superficially....still people are the all more impressionable. The first-hand impressions constitute the basic building block of a bond.
We should notice that the exchange of feelings and talk should be mutual. It has been seen largely that out of the two people in a relationship, one puts greater effort and this is the one who actually struggles more to live up to the expectations of the relationship. Just as the claws of a bird which remain intact with the soil particles despite leaving the land surface. Similarly, a person's basic nature is inextricably connected with him. A person cannot let it go completely. Hence, we must accept the person as it is.
Is it fair? To like ask for a degree of expectations from a person not as per the standard of the other one...instead, it is more centred around the person expecting it.
We should not judge the cultures of others using the lens our judgement, our standards and beliefs. Perceiving one's own culture over others is like developing a bias towards one culture and ignoring the positives and negatives of others. Unless and until, we will understand about the other culture, how are we going to ascertain it's standard?
The civilisational values of one culture are as much significant as that of the other.
Drawing a parallel, humans are like this only. They always keep on judging the other person without evening lending an ear in the first place about the clarifications of the other person. Hypocrite behaviour of the society is witnessed here as even the judicial systems of the country and around the world give an opportunity to the accused to defend himself instead of like directly announcing the verdict.
If someone likes or dislikes anything about you, it should not be your cause of worry. Rather, we should accept it this way. Everyone has his own likes and dislikes. People are allowed to choose their people, their interests and preferences. We should not be guilty of the fact that we could not fit into expectations of other. Never be a people-pleaser as most of the time such people are always found to be at the greatest loss. Good people keep on showering love and affection and they don't even realise when people become opportunist and starts misusing and exploiting their feelings.
I ask the reader,
Why we come close to a person whom we will eventually leave?
Why we start loving a person whom we will be like hating the next moment?
Isn't it sounding like that we are playing with our feelings ourselves. The world is living now in a system of fabricated relationships. Then, haters used to be in forefront. Now, friends have become haters and are wearing a mask of 'goodness' to gloss off that negative aspect. In the workplaces, the professional culture puts the workers in a situation of ethical dilemma. People are seen getting crushed between their goals and the ethics they have to abide by. The ends and means of people are not logically connected. Everyone is like using Machiavellian tactics of 'self-interest'. For the present generations it's like to put it simply, 'End justifies the means.' This is actually deviating people from the path of ethics. People are actually becoming passive, hedonistic and a human-machine to be precise. Humans have zeroed the emotions and are found to be working as hell as a machine. Everything just automated. People cannot confront each other as society expects you to possess 'artificial politeness'
The personality of people has been broadly divided between 'Introverts' and 'Extroverts'. Is it an appropriate classification? Absolutely, No. Agreed that people are different from each other in several respects, still various sub-categories are found within a personality type. Hence, introverts and extroverts can offer a possible but not a complete explanation of the personality. Personality and Personality Rights constitute the matters of integrity for an individual. People like ambiverts too exist and many more classifications to come our way. Nothing is absolutely black or white. It's just that people are coming from different walks of life...hence, treating them as objects of physical sciences won't suffice for it's understanding. Instead, we should adopt a standardised manner of the study of subjective world around us for an inter-subjective engagement.
We must try exploring the meaning attached to a particular action performed by the actor. Interpreting this shall help us understand the cause and dynamics of a particular thing. The understanding can be obtained either through empathetic means or by participant observation.
We should keep in mind that everything shall pass by. Both the good times and bad times shall pass. Nothing is permanent or eternal in character. Every model is subject to change due to forces of anomaly. The model drifts and subsequently crumbles away and on the ruins of one we get to see the rise of another. History keeps on repeating itself as said by Karl Marx, first as a tragedy second as a farce.
Everyone makes promises in the sweet times of a relationship and everyone even vows to abide by it no matter whatever challenges are thrown it's way. But the real test of promises happens in the moments of crisis. At a time, when people are ready to break off and immediately drift apart...the power of that promise defines the answer for the relationship.
These days the toxicity in relationships has crossed another level. A person who had been your friend or your greatest supporter or level once can in future turn your greatest enemy. They will be able to hurt you badly than any other person as they have got enough of you to break your heart. They are all aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Hence, first in this world there are no permanent friend or enemies. Second, we should not be emotionally dependent on anyone so much so that we end up hurting ourselves. Third, we should remember that our friend can turn into our greatest enemy. I am not saying to think entirely negative in respect of relationships but being cautious of dangerous things is a sign of rational mind. Prevention is always better than Cure.
We start from square one that is initially everyone is a stranger to each other. We gel up with people forming some bond and then something happens and we are reduced to strangers again. There is entirely no displacement in the physics of relationships. A person who has always given enough in terms of love, respect or anything for that matter has largely been wronged.
We will definitely encounter such a situation in our life where we will lose faith on life. We will end up feeling 'suicidal'. Suicide is merely not a psychological accident rather a planned social accident. A person can either commit suicide either due to the over-regulation and minimum regulation from the society as per Emile Durkheim's Sociological Analysis of Suicide.
Herbert Spencer highlights the Theory of 'Survival of Fittest' which holds relevance in the present day too. It says that the people who are able to adjust themselves in the society despite the multi-level changes occuring subsequently survive while those who fail to adapt as per the social environment are generally weeded out. The elite section largely survives the changes while the marginal groups are wiped out completely. Manifestation of crises are now common in every part of the world. Instead of breaking due to these deviations, we should move ahead in life challenging these. It has been said that not all challenges are there to disrupt your life while some are there to lend strength to your life. Challenges come to everyone and what makes the difference is how you respond to them. Every culture faces some challenges and some of them are able to positively respond while some negatively as higlighted by Toynbee in his 'Study of History'.
Being too much available for someone makes you more vulnerable. The more available you are for people the more unavailable they are going to be for you. Instead of always trying to please the other one, we shall continue to shine on ourselves. Instances are there where some people giving respect are tagged defining that too much of availability as an ulterior motive of self-interest. People start to take you for granted. You ultimately lose your own self-respect by giving too much of respect for others. Such is the new age drama where people giving respect to others are seen as traits of cowards while the rude people are considered to be bold and strong.
To my readers, I will like to address this thing. Instead of swallowing the pain given by others, we should also give us an opportunity to vent out ourselves. Instead of thinking that good begets good..we must step ahead in settling the scores. Keeping the things to resolve in the near future kills the present instead. The sooner the things are cleared, the better the chances are of revival.
In this world, people instead of listening the other person already assume something that is they maintain some pre-conceived notion about someone. That gives them a lens which is narrow in scope offering only a partial explanation of reality. Assumptions leads to misunderstandings and that eats away the relationships. People are just busy in playing blame-game and tossing out blame on something or other. People are found to be immersed in pains and the good years keep on passing by in flashbacks of memories.
People live by hopes of expecting the other person to either stay back or grow better. People continue playing with the emotions of the other person. People instrument relationships with usage of logic and reason instead of emotional basis. Hopes continue getting shattered and complains of not getting a pure relationship continue moving forward. The very same people who have earlier liked your things are seen to have been complaining of the boredom you cause to them. A sweet relationship for some time and then vacuum creeps in. Silence can the best answer in some situations but it is most of the times a probable reason for the root of all misunderstandings. People can come ahead to clear the air but some people try to manipulate the situation in their own advantage. Aristotle once said that to get angry in the right manner or in the right possible way is the most difficult thing in this world. Years of waiting and gaining nothing out of it leads to negative reciprocity. A balanced and direct exchange should take place instead. Promises of love and oath can only stand by if that compatibility actually sustains for long. We should keep in mind that originally things were simple only but with time complexity in the system is like making things dysfunctional.
We meet a lot of people in our life and as time passes we get an idea with whom our bonding will blossom or not. In my opinion, it's always better to give the other person a proper closure on a relationship in a situation where you will actually never allow you to be in. False hope is much more devastating than a positive hope. This can be likened to the imagination of a dry water situation or a wooden iron. Things which are totally not plausible. No matter whatever the other person will feel about it...it's always lauded if you speak your heart out and confront on that thing. It may sound rude in the moment but in the long run it will only lead to best communicative relationships. These very small things can either build a strong relationship on solid foundations or a hollowed structure will keep on like standing which can tether into pieces any moment. Thus, not getting entangled in this web of relationships is like which actually defines us.
So, Live ahead, move forth and become a human!