The contemporary world throws myriads of challenges and distressful situations before us. But we end up fighting with ourselves or our other species being.
Don't you think that the world would be a better place if people understood how to deal with other people?
Half the battle is won is just won with a good smile. Isn't it?
Ever had this desire that the world could be easily handled provided that I had the power to read people instantly?
Of course, some are born with that instinctive but it isn't like that it is totally an ascribed skill. It can come to many of us by merely bringing some modifications in our patterns of behaviour here and there.
Let's try exploring about such types of people who are an expert at mind reading or body language.
Here are 13 signs that you are an expert at reading people.
1) Extraordinary observational skills:
All of the time or at every moment of the day, we just keep on observing things here and there. We don't know many things but still, we have opinions on many things. But each time uttering a syllable isn't required. Just through mere observation, you can have volumes of information being conveyed to your subconscious self. Such people are not only good at observing people but rather they observe almost everything including the inanimate one. For example, the messy pattern of the room says a lot about the personality and routine types of the person. On the contrary, people who arrange things at specific places. They have specific places for specific things. They are altogether different. Some people like exquisite decorations in their rooms while for some simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
Observation is good but our observation should not happen in the active perception of the person being observed. Otherwise, people might change their behavior upon knowing that they are being observed, says the Hawthorne Effect. Observation about things is also considered to be accurate unless it's diluted by our personal biases or judgments.
Such people keep observing things and things keep on registering in their personal memory. Next time, whenever they interact with somebody...they will keep the details of the first or successive meets with the respective person.
2) Expertise in Reading Bio-Psychic Drives:
'Our mental, psychological, and biological needs are all things that shape our culture.'
- Bronislaw Malinowski, an anthropologist.
We all have certain drives, desires, or needs. For the fulfillment of which, we interact with others for the consummation of the want.
Children know they can't survive without parents. Hence, even if they rebel against them, they can't muster the courage to leave their respective places. Power relations in social dynamics dictate relationships actually.
A sort of respect, decorum, and code guides our relationship and conversation with our guardians.
However, our relationships with our fellow partners in life are different. We touch their hands, we kiss them. We don't do this with our parents, generally. Rather, we respect them by touching their feet as in the Asian culture.
Hence, our body language says a lot about relationships.
The study of 'Proxemics' by Edward T. Hall, also connotes this idea. That is, our body language is guided by the relations dynamics corresponding with the people we interact with.
Experts at Body reading don't always have to ask you about the status of any relationship. They can better understand by such underlying meanings.
A person is rude, angry or interested to sense that it maybe difficult for people to uncover but for people like these, it's a matter of few seconds. They can immediately read face, understand body movements associated with varied responses.
3) Nerding on Human Behaviour.
Every where in this world, our managers, directors, consociates or subordinates, we have to deal with people.
People who are good at such skills keep on reading about human psychology, sociolgical dynamics, group behavior, social processes, institutions working, statistical findings and relevant information to grab maximum information on human behaviour as humanly possible.
This helps them to better deal with the people we come across even in our mundane activities. Whom to restrict, whom to allow, whom to give space or not, are things they understand prior before someone spills them out.
Understanding and reading more about human behaviour is even good for our mental health. We understand whom to give a pause, whom to press the 'Continue' Button. Before situations turn from bad to worse, we are all ready with precautions. This article is not in any way promoting that new interactions are not good. They are equally important as they tell us about the interaction with the strangers. Interacting with strangers in the first place might be daunting but that's a required skills. As whoever we meet in life, is once a stranger. Hence for social adjustment and better connection and relationships that actually count...you need to work on it. And we can't work on things, we aren't aware of. So, studying Sociology and Psychology is now becoming major pre-requistes when it comes to Human Resource Management as seen in Coroprates.
Hence, people who can easily read people isn't because that they have been divinely blessed. Instead, they have worked to understand humans, human relationships etc.
And if we have studied a subject, won't be able to study problems of that subject?
4) Better in Understanding Contextual Relationships:
Symbolic interactionism, a branch or a perspective that deals with the study of interaction patterns, symbols and codes used in a relationship.
George Herbert Mead and Herbert Blumer say that there are some established responses in society. Like, Hi! is always reverted back with a Hi or Hello!
We as individuals regularly create meanings out of the things we interact. Similarly, we change the meanings of things as it has been socially constructed.
The manner of our interaction with context changes. Individuals remain same. It's just that they behave differently in different situations.
We won't behave in a similar manner in a wedding...the way we do at our homes.
Meanings created by individuals or group of individuals are relative to society.
In our culture, actions like that of hugging or kissing is restricted with our partners or our most closest beings. In American culture, hugging maybe extended with a relatively known stranger.
Meanings regularly define our interactions and constantly shape the world we live in.
A person who has best talents of reading people is immediately able to grasp sense of contextual relationships we develop with one another.
5) Known to Know:
We all human beings are always in search of affection from one person or another. We always want to be known. But do we actually take pains to understand and know the other person? Ofcourse, No!
Rarely, people attempt to closely understand the people that surround them. People feel good if someone else is aware about the likings or dislikings of ourselves.
Some people claim to know everything and this is one thing that pulls back people from you. Magnetic personalities are those who understand others more than they themselves know about.
Best friendships happen when the likings and dislikings are co-adjusted together in a harmonious relationship.
We can easily spot somehow the likings of an individual. The harder task is to find the triggers of someone. Triggers are underlying things which are generally absent in our social self. We don't want to present our vulnerable sides with everybody. In order to build a sustainable relationship, if we understand triggers of the other one, lesser the chances are that it will become a toxic relationship.
Any individual can ask about our physical well-being. Very few care to talk and care about our mental health. And understanding the concept of boundaries in a relationship is a key to any specific relationship.
A person who is good at reading people immediately works to find the triggers alongside likings of the people they are connecting with.
6) The Centrality of Sensitive Assertions:
Academic intelligence is one thing. But emotional intelligence and social intelligence are much more things that need attention. A person who isn't much aware about the social realities blurts out any random thing that comes to his or her mind without thinking of the impacts it might have the person listening to it. Insensitive people don't really care what others think. For them, they and their thoughts is just the ultimate reality. Such people are commonly found to be narcissists. They always consider themselves to be worthy and superior than others. Chauvinism is something that dictates their personality altogether.
On the contrary, people who try and understanding people are sensitive ones. They are good listeners. They want everyone to be heard as they know as everyone has a story to tell. They don't cut conversations in between to bring their in between. Sensitive people are generally non-judgemental and non-biased. They don't hold prejudices. They agree with the fact that that everybody is different and everybody had different origin points in life. As a result of which, their reaction to a particular situation is different. They accept varied responses just as mere differences in diversity not as mere inequality.
Sensitive ones know that if emotions are prized things for them,similarly, the emotional possessions, rights and assertions of others too should be respected. In order to feel understood, we must need to start understanding first.
Persons with better comprehension of things keep sensitivity in social interactions as a central concept.
7) Uncovering Truths from Lies:
Readers of the world or the readers of literature both are extremely good at detecting lies. They know it very well that conscious structures can act as 'misnomer'. Reality actually lies behind this framework or structure. People are doing nothing but a drama metaphorically. They try to do impression management and portray themselves as mystified so as to gain attention. Mask management has become so common these days that it's becoming increasingly difficult to separate the right from the wrong.
Quite a difficult task for many but for mind readers, detecting a lie is easy. They understand body expressions well. Body language while speaking a truth is totally different when we speak a false statement.
For them, it's an interesting thing to ascertain when what people say doesn't actually matches with that people actually do.
They are able to cleverly understand the eye contact patterns. Generally, people are not able to maintain eye contact when speaking a lie. Finding a lie requires multiple level of analysis and procedures. All combined together gives them a fair idea of what the reality is.
8) Non-Judgemental and Logical:
Readers of mindset and humans at large tend to be non-judgemental. As judgement can blind your eyes towards some positive aspects of the person being observed. Being judgemental leads you to discrimination. Unknowingly, we over-emphasize on only one aspect and making hasty generalizations. They don't get swayed away by emotions which are manipulative. They understand where there is repetition, fabrication and falsification. They instead try to be logical to see through various things. They might see the world as binary opposites of good and bad but also have the capability to see the grey lines inside. They don't believe in any kind of stereotype that runs. They love a person despite knowing all their shortcomings. They dislike a person completely if they start to feel so. There is no in between for them. Logical mind stresses on them to see on the philosophical aspects of things. What could have happened and what could have not? Etcetra, like that. They always look out for answers in things. They don't say unless 'yes' unless they feel convicted for that thing. For them, the tapestry of relationships is a complex web and for them you have to have the shape like that of water which takes the shape of the vessel, it is put into. They are largely there to understand context of talks rather than the content of talks. They try establishing relationship between talk and action.
9) Difficult to Be Deceived:
Opportunists in this world are so much widespread these days. Minority are those who pursue actions for self-less interests over selfish interests. People are ready to carry out their profit motive at the expense of others. Logical people attempt to establish balance between profit maximisation and social welfare. They believe in loving people for a thousand years and even thousand more. Deceiving somebody is not a thing mentioned in their dictionary of relationships. Such people remember every details and words of other person. Hence, any deviation from the normal set of patterns lead to clicking in their minds that something is fishy. Discovery that odd facts becomes their primary task now. They even confront the person for saying so. Straightforwardness and being upfront about things in relationship is their key behaviour.
They develop chains to understand patterns that ultimately leads them to the final truth. Hence, deceiving such people can be equated with a blunder where you cut that very log of wood where you are sitting. Once such people are deceived, there is no way that you are going to make an entry into their personal space again. For them, trust is like a Time Password which once used cannot be exploited later for any gain. Things are crystal clear for them.
10) Group Behaviour Comprehension:
One-to-one relationships can be handled by many. But attending to each and everybody there in the group is a task that seems next to impossible. Ensuring that everybody is being heard and everybody is being conveyed the right opinion that suits their respective personality is again challenging. Mind readers though not an expert here are better than normal people who even don't have any idea of group dynamics. In a group, the individuation is lost and one has to align with the collective sentiments. You have to show collective effervescence. Collective representation can make everybody feel that they have been integrated into the group perfectly. They don't allow mockery or bullying on anybody's part. Being judgemental is out of the question here. Understanding how to be responsive to the needs of everybody. Developing transparency with every individual in the group. They try to make everybody adhere to the idea that 'learn to agree to disagree'. Constantly, meanings are being created and enforced in conversations. How behavior and reality of conversation patterns get them how every relationship is progressing. They get to understand easily about the future, prediction, etc. Hence, group behavior is also something that is attended by such people that helps to understand humans better as managers and directors.
11) 'Unsaid Things':
As said earlier, they have good observation skills so they better understand many things. Things that are explicitly stated are understood by everybody. But some people just don't understand the idea of vibes. There are people with whom you have to say what your wants are. With people like these, they already understand what we want to express. Telepathy works best here. They are our close friends. Even if they are strangers to us, they can understand us...I can give an example of that.
If an old man is standing and we are sitting on our seat on the bus, we may immediately stand up. Some will say that this is general manners for us. True that, but these customs are manners and are nowhere clearly stated. Some may say that it's common sense. But common sense is actually not common. It has actually become a part of our mental schema or embodiment so to say. We assimilate and accommodate interest and dislikes of other people without the other person telling us to do so. They keep on observing us not to pass conclusions but to understand us better. They don't oversimplify things but rather keep it raw as they are in reality. And it has been rightly said, deep are those relationships where you don't have to say much. Less words and more actions speak volumes in themselves.
12) Magnetic Aura:
People who have high standards for themselves be it in etiquette, demands and social features are loved everywhere. They are preferred over others as their value system is unshakable. People get attracted to them for their sincerity and discipline in their work pattern. They worship their task, work on productivity, and improvement of both their real self or social self. They are known for their punctuality. These people are compassionate ones. Mercy drops in their heart. If your redemption regarding your fault is true, they shall accept you welcomingly.
Mind readers and body language readers can be the best people to be around. Signs of characteristics of such people isn't complete as it is of course not an exhaustive list. Many things are under cover and many more to come. In conclusion, I would like my readers to comment if they are one of them or if they ever come across this type in their life.
Reference:-
- hackspirit.com