Photo by Pavel Danilyuk: pexels

I sit here with these artificial lights on, beside a man with
Whom heart is tied to, legally. Someone who has seen my face
with full make up on,
someone who has seen my most hidden tattoo and at night
someone who has seen my most naked face with no makeup on.
"Short hairs don't suit you" he said. I smiled and replied
"well these pants don't suit you either".
He laughed and brushed it off by saying,
"These are my favorite so you need to adjust".
And exactly my point that he once again missed.
Although he said it very lightly,
it made me ponder who really taught us
to "adjust" and not "love"?
Believe me I know that this society told me to love somebody with my whole heart but it didn't teach what does a wise woman do
if she falls for another heart while still being tied to someone else.
I still don't know the answers so I wait for the clock to tick to twelve
when the whole world's asleep and runaway.
Runaway far from these dark streets which were bright a moment ago just when my
room's lights were on.
So as I step outside in this freezing cold night,
I realized that those artificial lights could never replace the darkness inside this
empty fragile soul
and all I see in front of me is big pine trees and a dark lonely street.
But somehow even in this darkness, I knew my destination.
I knew whose hands I've been waiting to embrace
and I knew what a waste would this love would be if it goes away.
Believe me I had a trouble finding you but now there you are,
with your hands shivering and yet you managed to say, "You look
happy in this hairstyle". I couldn't resist coming closer to her and asked,
"You could see that?" she smiled and held my face with her hands
said, "of course, it's you in the end, why wouldn't I notice?"
And just as I held her closer, I realized that this love isn't for the show
and I could never brag about it. And the mornings aren't meant for us honey
so either we "adjust" or we choose love. And tonight I
choose the latter one. I choose the latter one even if this love feels like a crime
we never signed up for.
Even if it makes us living criminals. And even if we are, tonight I'm ready
with my weapons to fight. To fight for this love.
To show them that this isn't just an illicit affair.
But even if I'm willing to fight for this love, the truth is,
I will never get to meet your friends.
I will never get to dance with you in that olive green dress which you adore.
And I will never get to see your smile when you wake up.
So yes maybe this love isn't for the show.
Maybe you will never get to see what all I'm willing to do for you my lady
but tonight I have a feeling that this pain wouldn't be for evermore,
So today when the whole world's asleep and only these artificial lights
could dimly light up our streets,
I, a not so wise woman, is asking you to meet me behind these long pine trees, yet again.

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