Source: Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

I sit here with these artificial lights on,
besides a man with whom my heart is tied, legally.
Someone who has seen my face with full makeup on,
Someone who has seen my most hidden tattoo and at night
Someone who has seen my most naked face with no makeup on
"Shorthairs don't suit you," he said.

I smiled and replied, "well these pants don't suit you either".
He laughed and brushed it off by saying, "These are my favorite, so you need to adjust".
And exactly my point that he once again missed.

Although he said it very lightly, it made me ponder who taught us to "adjust" and not "love"?
Believe me, I know that this society told me to love somebody with my whole heart, but it didn't teach what does a wise woman does if she falls for another heart while still being tied to someone else.
I still don't know the answers, so I wait for the clock to tick to twelve when the whole world's asleep and runaway.
Runaway far from these dark streets which were bright a moment ago just when my room's lights were on.

So, as I step outside on this freezing cold night,
I realized that those artificial lights could never replace the darkness inside this empty fragile soul and all I see in front of me are big pine trees and a dark lonely street. But somehow even in this darkness, I knew my destination.
I knew whose hands I'd been waiting to embrace, and I knew what a waste this love would be if it goes away.

Believe me, I had trouble finding you but now there you are, with your hands shivering and yet you managed to say, "You look happy in this hairstyle".
I couldn't resist coming closer to her and asking, "You could see that?" She smiled and held my face with her hands and said, "of course, it's you in the end, why wouldn't I notice?"
And just as I held her closer, I realized that this love isn't for the show, and I could never brag about it.

And the mornings aren't meant for us honey so either we "adjustā€¯, or we choose to love. And tonight, I choose the latter one. I choose the latter one even if this love feels like a crime we never signed up for.

Even if it makes us living criminals. And even if we are, tonight I'm ready with my weapons to fight.
To fight for this love. To show them that this isn't just an illicit affair.
But even if I'm willing to fight for this love, the truth is,
I will never get to meet your friends.

I will never get to dance with you in that olive green dress that you adore.
And I will never get to see your smile when you wake up.
So yes, maybe this love isn't for the show.
Maybe you will never get to see what all I'm willing to do for you my lady but tonight I have a feeling that this pain wouldn't be forevermore.

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