1. A young girl of around seven years fell from the balance beam and rose again. There was no scope of wasting a single minute under her coach’s strict supervision. She was scared of practice. The simplest mistake could invite a severe punishment.

She wanted to play and dance on her own. But her wish had hardly any space because she was a genuine jewel and truly potential, if trained properly, not only for the Asian Games, but also to rock the world in the next Olympic. So her childhood was captivated inside the gymnastic training centre. She was specially ‘favoured’ by her nation.

An-sung was clapping to encourage her daughter from the gallery. It was a rare occasion that the busy journalist was having a glimpse of her daughter practicing gymnastic. Her daily routine includes persuading Lu, her daughter, to attend her training, dropping her on her school and take her back home. The nation wants a champion, but the champions’ mother is not spared at her work for the sake of the ‘future Olympian’. Lu had bargained for a weekly ice-cream, a fugitive pleasure of five to ten minutes, in exchange of daily hours-long practice. Animal milk is traditionally not consumed in the country; these ice-creams are mostly frozen desserts.

As the car reached the ice-cream shop they found a gathering although not a massive one. The identity of a press worked fine and helped her reach the centre of the crowd to find the reason. A baby wrapped in a dirty piece of cloth was lying under a lamp post. It was feeble, but still alive and probably could be saved if taken to hospital at once. It was not at all a stray case and could be seen on road side, railway station, or at best at the door step of some orphanage. Anybody can accurately anticipate without opening the nappy that the infant was a female.

An-sung ordered a strawberry ice-cream for her daughter. Then she rushed to bring a towel from her car to wrap the child properly and yelled at the crowd, “Anybody - wants to assist me to take the baby to a nearby hospital? Perhaps she can still be saved.”

My god! Was the woman loony? Child? Who was child? It was just a girl! The crowd disintegrated gradually. It’s a very common sight in the city of Jinan. Villagers of the adjacent villages often use to either liquidate their female babies before they cry for the first time on earth’s atmosphere after emerging from the respective wombs, or to be very kind, throw them here and there including dustbins. The infant can, at best, be picked up by orphanages, or consumed by street dogs, or by female traffickers or any bloody creature – that’s not their concern.

The baby’s cotton rag was wet unnoticed for quite some time. Not only water some yellow solids were also found ejected. An-sung dropped the rag and cleaned the baby with a tissue paper from her bag. She chased Lu to finish her ice-cream quickly. “Get on the car Lu; we have to rush to a hospital without delay.”

“Is this your baby?” asked the receptionist girl.

“Ya… yap.”

“Then who is she?” the girl at the counter asked again.

“She is my …” An-sung fumbled.

“Hey, I’m Lu and she is my ma.”

“A, there you are. Then how can this infant be your daughter ma’am?”

The law of the over populated land is too strict to allow more than one child. You cannot even adopt another child if you are already having one. Of course a couple is issued permission to try for a son only if the first born is a girl.

“Actually she is my second…”

“What’s her name? Show me the permission and her birth documents. Leave the counter please. Let others come.”

“I call her Chingching. She has not formally named so far. Just a new born baby and very critical. Please help.”

“Show me the documents. Else leave the counter. You look perfectly well, too steady and smartly dressed to have suffered a labour recently.”

“Actually she is … I mean her mother died at her birth. So I have taken her here. It’s an emergency please. I’ll hand her over to the city police as soon as she recovers.”

“Then why did you say she is your second issue?”

“Look at the innocent flimsy face, sinking. It’s like your daughter too!”

It’s not that the hospitals don’t treat patient without valid identity; but he or she has to be under a legal custody of an individual or an orphanage. An-sung was none of the valid custodians entrusted by the state. Besides, she had fumbled suspiciously. Hence the lady had legally no right to be kind and try to save the sinking baby.

It was a known fact. Not only in the province of Shandong, but also in most of the states like Henan, Anhui, Shangri, Kiangsi, North Kiangsu etc., the word ‘child’ refers to a ‘boy child’ only. An-sung had written articles on this issue taking adequate care so as not to embarrass and offend the ‘egalitarian socialist’ government.

A journalist receives more suspicion than respect by the government bodies. By the time An-sung managed to conclude the interrogation by the hospital authority by introducing the child as an offspring of an unknown deceased person, promising to hand it over to the police or orphanage or relevant authority if recovered, and teasing a sentiment which was least likely to leave any mark on any heart in this enormous country, her auto-responsive inquisitive eyes and ears were caught by a buzzing story.

A critical patient was being taken to operation theatre for a very complicated operation. A forty years old woman who reportedly had have suffered from severe headache and strange stinging pain throughout her body almost from her birth had been admitted in the hospital a few days back and was supposed to undergo surgery. Domestic treatments and seldom simple allopath had been tried so far with little or no effect. Her husband also tried to treat her body pain by beating with his hands and sticks anticipating laziness but failed to provide remedy. Rather one fine day, while battering his wife with a rod he discovered a long needle emerged piercing out her back skin. The woman’s shrill scream invited some curious neighbours although it was a regular affair in the rural belt. Probably the particular day’s decibel level was higher than the standard which attracted fun seeking people. Some neighbours, watching pool of blood, might had felt that the woman had been taught enough of good lessons and no more lessons required to be taught for the time being. They were surprised too to discover that three needle tips were peeping out of three different parts of blood smeared body! ‘Preaching wife’ program was abandoned and the woman was taken to this hospital at Jinan.

Doctors had examined through X-ray and were simply shocked to find twenty six needles of different sizes ranging from tiny ones to those thick enough for stitching quilts were inside the lady’s body! And yet they were apprehending more! The picture was terrible enough to shiver a dartboard! It was even more surprising to the medical practitioners that how she had been able to survive for forty long years and even become a mother! Her uterus also bore some needles. Her husband now had the answer why his son took birth with some scratch marks. Some of the needles had been removed from the torso. But it was a big medical challenge indeed to extract the needles from the cranial part of the patient who was losing consciousness frequently due to unbearable headache. The hospital authority wanted to transfer the case to some speciality hospital; but the head neurosurgeon was in favour of accepting the challenge as well as bagging the credit. So he was heading for the OT with his crew of eight doctors. The management and staff were too busy to spend time for An-sung and her newly found baby. So An-sung was gifted with an early release from interrogation as well as an exciting story for her front page.

This type of incident was not rare though uncommon. This very hospital had earlier witnessed several infanticides. Usually grandparents, especially grandpas, desiring to have a grandson and receiving a granddaughter instead used to insert needles into the baby’s soft head or body avoiding notice of the child’s mother. Most died. A few shameless girls still continued to survive to embarrass their affectionate grandparents. Those desperate creatures later might have to pay for their poor morbidity for the rest of their life in the form of various atrocities. This case, however, could acclaim a mention in Guinea’s Book of Records, though the news if leaked internationally would surely infuriate the national government. An-sung’s presence, therefore, was most undesirable. The hospital management was in hurry to drive her away; otherwise she could be taught an appropriate lesson for showing off undue affection to an orphan girl child.

2. An-sung’s car approached her residence instead of police station or any orphanage. She called her office to update them with the new thriller to compensate her absence post lunch. She would have to give some extempore alibi the next day. Now she was too preoccupied with the sinking baby’s wellbeing as well as by the horrifying story just learnt at the hospital to plan and organize next day’s course of action. Had Lu guessed something? She was bombarding nonstop questions in the car; but now was keeping mum completely. The baby needed to be fed, but what? The hospital had advised nothing as they refused to even look at the infant. An-sung had to decide and arrange on her own. She called her doctor friend for help; but she won’t be available before night.

It had been quite long that a child could be accompanied by a sibling in this country. More than a generation had passed the government had enforced one child policy on her citizens. Thus cousins were almost endangered species. Lu opened her mouth after a long pause, “who is this mom?”

“Mei-mei.” The word slipped out of An-sung’s tongue. Mei-mei i.e. “Sister”!

The night came initiating secret treatment and nursing of the deserted young life. The days witnessed relentless endeavour of a journalist to become mother, or at least foster mother to an orphan. An-sung continued with the name she uttered hastily at the hospital i.e. Cingching. Lu named her beloved sister Merry which was later accepted as her formal name. At times An-sung used to frantically search the little girl’s body to find if anything was pierced! She insisted her friend to x-ray, examine and re-examine to cross check and eradicate her apprehension.

The neighbours were amused to watch the craziness. Whereas a single girl child is thrown like a garbage at once by her family even including her mother, this loony who herself had been left by her husband had invited another burden in addition to an existing one! Not only that, she was spending money like hell to acquire legal guardianship of that garbage and would spend even more for her upbringing! And finally would probably sell herself to get that girl married!

3. When Shanu Chang managed the job of a maid servant at the house of a rich family after coming to Jinan, her face had burn marks, eyes were deep inside the socket, the limbs exhibited mark of multiple injuries, fingers and nails were painfully infected and God knew, how many more wounds of matrimony were imprinted in the covered parts. Besides the ribs inside her loose apparel used to announce loudly that she had spent twelve years with her in-laws.

The last born baby had also been a female. As such Shanu had failed to become a ‘mother’ once again and dared not facing her husband any more. The man had given an advance alert notice – the knife that would cut the cord of the child, if girl again, would be subsequently used to cut open Shanu’s breathing track. The aged women who assisted in the delivery went out to discuss with the family members as how to end the tiny life – dipping in the hot water as usual or else? That was the high time to escape from the domestic delivery room collecting some pieces of clothes and managing the heavily bleeding body. The new born was crying “oaan..oaan..” when Shanu Chang stealthily rushed out from the room. The baby girl was not cleaned since her destiny had been pre-decided. The heart behind Shanu’s chest moist with milk stopped for a while – “she’s going to die without food perhaps, let her, forget it.” She had killed the former three earlier with her own hands; but this time she couldn’t escape punishment even if she murdered the unwanted life. She had no time to think and waste.

Thank God, the baby had been delivered at night. The convict would have to cover as long distance as possible before sun rose, before she was chased by her family. Thankfully her feet were not bound to restrict her motion as she had been destined to be a bonded labour, a domestic slave in a poor family. Now she was running from her slavery as well, although the amount of dowry she brought from her parents together with the monetary value of the hard toil she provided her in-laws for twelve consecutive years was high enough to allow her the luxury of several servants.

The government allots not even a small piece of land for a girl child. Again since more than one child is strictly prohibited a family cannot expect their second child to be a son if they already have a girl. The land distribution system of China thus has almost legalised female infanticide for rural agriculture based families. No, the government may not appreciate the word ‘legalise’; is it safer to say ‘indulge’?

As a maid servant of the elite family Shanu’s condition was quite satisfactory at least much better than the years she passed with her in-laws. In addition she was paid for her labour. Shanu had to do shopping too along with her regular domestic chores. She met a restaurant owner at the market place.

“Where do you stay woman?”

“In that house, who has a shoe factory.”

“Many may have shoe factories; name the place. It’s a big city. Where are you from?”

“From Lungchu.”

“Why have you come here? Husband used to beat? Or you couldn’t deliver a son?”

“Why are you so curious? I have come here to work, earn, stay well and settle, that’s all.”

“How nuch do you get? The land lady is a mean miserly woman.”

“You know the people whom I work for? Then why asking me to name the place? Hah! I’m getting there food for four times, getting salary, getting scope to meet you people. What more do I need?”

“Oho! Just tell me what’s your salary. Is it weekly or monthly?”

“I get shelter and all the meals of a day. Salary is not my concern. It’s sufficient to meet my own expenses. I don’t need to spend much. They give me dresses also though mostly used ones.”

“Want to work at my restaurant? Cleaning utensils, tables and similar errands. Food and lodging are free, and your salary will hike.”

“Have I mentioned my present salary?”

“But we can easily guess the figure even if you don’t. Refugee women like you are made to work just against food and shelter. If you work for me you’ll earn a better livelihood. I need a worker for dish washing and dusting.”

4. Better livelihood? What was that? Shanu was much better now as compared to her past. Was it necessary to live even better? The next day Shanu told the restaurant owner that she was not ready to leave her present secured shelter. However, she might manage to wash utensils during her visit in the market place. Ju Mei, the restaurant owner, agreed. Shanu secured some extra income. The extra money was utilised in purchasing cream to nurture her dry skin, buying pizza or pastry for herself. One day when she was in a stationary shop a couple came there with their daughter. They purchased baby cream and talc of premium brand for the little girl. Those were quite expensive. “Too much pamparing, ridiculous”, Shanu made the soliloquy but became unmindful for some unidentified reason.

She came back ‘home’ and noticed that the same brand was used for the only daughter of her mistress. Shanu didn’t feel like massaging the cream she bought any more. It was nicely fragranced, still not. Madam Hidi and her middle aged husband used to unabashedly flaunt too much affection for their little one. The little girl had heaps of toys most of which remained untouched. Whenever she wished for an outing the car was made ready. Whatever dish she wished to try it was readied in a jiffy. It irritated Shanu. Not clear why, but she felt like fleeing away from the happy environment.

It was not wise to leave a secured and congenial shelter and jump over uncertainty. Yet Shanu did it and applied for a full time employment in the restaurant. The application was certainly not written but just verbal. Ju Mei agreed readily. So Shanu’s new dwelling address was Wang Shi restaurant. Nonstop hard labour from dawn to dusk was more or less compensated by salary. But the foul language of her new master reminded her of her tenure with her in-laws and she felt she shouldn’t had left Hidi Madam’s house. But she couldn’t identify the reason why she used to feel sad and restless in Hidi madam’s cosy family.

However, Shanu Chang became little clever after joining the restaurant. Jinan is often visited by domestic and international tourists. Excavation at Chengziya, a nearby village recently led to discovery of Neolithic Longshan culture, the largest prehistoric settlement in China and other valuable archaeological remains. The Shandong state as such is of true tourist interest. People who come to visit Kufu, the hometown of Confucius, often pass Jinan. There were several restaurants here and Shanu knew as long as she was not afraid of hard work she had plenty of offers to choose from. Moreover she was not a kid to be deceived. She was ultimately a free human being and especially relished recapitulating and cherishing her freedom.

5. An-sung liked the restaurant when she came to dine at Wang Shi for the first time with her daughters. Her elder daughter would be fourteen coming May. So far she had thrown small parties at her small apartment to observe the birth days. This time her daughter was going to compete in Asian Games and as such deserved a bigger celebration. A five star or a four star would be too expensive for An-sung. She had to undergo a huge monetary penalty for acquiring custody of the second daughter. There was a recurring part as well. Process of adoption was rather comparatively hassle-free for the foreigners. An-sung’s friend Erin Riper and Dev had flown back to Spain with a cute Chinese doll on their lap. Anyway, a party organised in a decent restaurant like Wang Shi were likely to take care of both her prestige and budget.

Lu was dazzling like a European princess in her pink gown, pearl choker around her neck, matching pearl earring and pearl bracelet. Her left hand wrist was wrapped with the fine pink linen coming out of her gown. It was customary among urban girls of affluent family to dress in white or pink frock on their birthdays. (All girls were not killed at their birth or forced to kill their daughters if left to survive). This year Lu found herself quite grown up and important and her gown was rightly reflecting her status. Her young sister Merry was wearing a beautiful pink frock which once belonged to Lu. Her birthday was not known precisely; but her mother used to observe the day of picking her up from the footpath as her birthday and celebrate it in the same way without discrimination. Chingching or officially Merry was learning tae kwon do and not gymnastics. Also dressed like another birthday girl she was loitering around in joy and greeting guests.

6. Sometimes Shanu Chang had to give proxy as a waiter if required. She had been trained to take order and serve the food along with cleaning the table. Shanu preferred this temporary assignment to her permanent dish washing duty during chilling days as well as in summer. Most attractive part was the tips offered by the customers. She would request Ju for this position permanently. The only drawback she had was illiteracy which had been covered up these days. Shanu had learned to read and write the names of all the food items in the menu card. Rest of the symbols in Chinese script were not introduced to her vocabulary and she perhaps didn’t need them. She couldn’t think of returning to her home in the village and living filthy conjugal life with her husband to produce ‘garbage to be disposed off’ once again. She had crossed forty, conceived and delivered four times and yet couldn’t be a mother as she failed to produce a son. She was rather happy now – a servant but free. She now enjoyed control over her own earning however meagre be the amount.

The banquette hall had been booked by a lady with two children, that too two daughters! A seven storey cake covered with chocolate cream and decorated with fourteen candles was waiting to be cut on a dining table in the enormous hall. The knife’s handle was nicely tied with a silk ribbon. Shanu had never seen such a strange scene. In her village even birthdays of boys were not celebrated with such extravaganza. She was witnessing a big party first time in this restaurant. She was feeling strangely uncomfortable, something resembling her feeling during her stay with her previous employers who had a daughter. “Simply ridiculous, incorrigible!” She made a loud soliloquy, although the ‘ridiculous incorrigible’ arrangement was allowing her some extra income.

The invitees started arriving. There were men, but most of the guests were young lad and lass accompanied by their mothers. Boys wore conventional dresses like suit, trousers & shirts or jeans with T-shirts or Capri or so. But girls were all treat to the eyes with their variety of designer apparels. Even rainbow would be tempted to steal their color from the dresses with different cuts and matching silk flower on hair. Some covered their forearms with gloves up to elbow while displaying their legs under miniskirts. Side slit of the evening gown coupled with high heeled shoes were to enhance and intensify the beauty the spotless radiant legs. Shanu was too amazed to move.

Everybody sang birthday song and wished Lu a long prosperous life and of course success for the coming Asian meets. Little Merry wanted to cut the cake. She was fed the first piece after blowing off the candles. Ladies gave delicate bites on their pieces, men and guys gulped down their share at once and children played with the cream apart from eating. The host was hugged by her daughters, “ma ma”. Ma’s cheek was dabbed with pastry cream. Everybody laughed aloud and the mother seemed to be in the seventh heaven. Then it was time for multi course dinner. Waiters had to be on their toes although it was a buffet. It seemed as if Lu had obliged the world by taking birth! The stupid n irritating lady was distributing cakes among the restaurant staff as well. Oh! Incorrigible!

7.  Shanu was missing from the banquet. Soon it was noticed by the owner and the staff. Where could she be, in the washroom? But what kept her busy for so long. The party was almost over. Once the guests left the restaurant, Ju Mai would teach a good lesson to that lazy bitch. She must be sleeping in her basement room thinking that her absence would remain unnoticed amidst the crowd. She would be awakened to pay for it.

Yes, the guess was true to some extent. Shanu locked herself in her room, but couldn’t be awakened despite yelling in chorus. There was a red stream flowing under the door. The door had to be broken. No one dared to enter the room crossing the pool of blood. A blood stained knife was lying on the floor. Shanu’s hand that was hanging out of the bed was still bleeding.

Suicide among women folk was very common in the country. Hardly anybody bothered much about it. But some guests were still present in the restaurant and their host herself was a journalist. So both ambulance and police were called. Shanu was gently placed on a stretcher. A stretcher? Might be; but none had ever laid Shanu with so much care. It was a clean and white hospital bed where Shanu Chang was laid with care, but she was not conscious to feel the comfort.

She came to sense to encount cameras, microphones and flash lights.

“Why did you attempt suicide? Don’t you know it’s a crime?”

Shanu was silent. Her eyes also had nothing to communicate.

“Answer you woman.” Cops insisted.

No answer. The inspector yelled again, “Why silent? Tell us in detail what happened.”

A few drops of water trickled down Shanu’s cheek. She whispered, “One can be called a mom on giving birth to a girl..! May be. Yes, I too used to call my mother as ma.”

There was nothing new in Shanu’s story what was extracted from the prolonged interrogation.

“You endured so much torture those days, yet struggled to survive. Now when you are independent and no burden to bear, what made you to attempt your life?” the question came not from police, but from the mother of Lu and Merry.

Shanu Chang now screamed out. “I killed all four of my babies. I myself dipped three of them into hot water and left the last one to die on starvation or to be killed by those tyrants. They had never tasted pastry; they had never celebrated their birthdays wearing pink dress. Pork, noodles, chicken – they tasted nothing, just nothing. Cake is so tasty, but they simply don’t know the taste. My milk got wasted, my breasts swollen with milk used to pain; still I was not allowed to feed any of my babies. The last one was crying in hunger and I had to leave her unfed. Had I taken her to the street and left there, a madam like you might have picked her.. But I killed all my daughters with my own bloody hands! Where was the police then? Now you all are watching fun forcing me to leave without my my.. anything! I don’t want to eat anything good or bad. I don’t want to breathe. Let me die. I’ll search them in the sky. They all are suffocating; they must be very hungry too."

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