It was the coldest New Year’s Eve, the 40-year-old had experienced in his life. He was walking down the streets as the cold breeze swept through his grizzly uncombed messy hair while his cheeks kept getting redder. His desire of curling up like a dog in the middle of a street lit up with lights and decorations of joy and happiness only grew stronger as the cool wind started biting through his skin over those rugged clothes. He could hear the sound of decline that his numb footsteps were making as they proceeded to his certainly uncertain end.

He pulled his hands out of that rugged pocket hoping to feel some warmth by rubbing them against each other, when he found his old cell phone. The secret to his secrets was still the same SUSAN, all caps. He felt snow all over his shoulder making him look up to the sky only to realize, it has started snowing again. The droplets of ice accumulated over the branch of a tree resembled the shape of pearls hanging down the necklace recently gifted and now wrapped around gracefully around a lover’s neck. 

She was his first Valentine, and he hoped to be her last!! Didn’t she? Wish the same?

It was a day of celebration, people lit firecrackers, wore warm pretty clothes and through some of their windows, a happy family dinner was also visible. The long stretch of lights in front slowly started fading and blurring away as water dripped from his eyes over to his cheeks, he pulled up his hands to wipe it all away but, in vain.

Suddenly, he heard the police car sirens going off somewhere far, or was it near? Were they trying to find him?

His thought spiral broke pushing him back to reality, It’s the real world! Where was he? What was he trying to do? He had been meddled with his thoughts for so long that his eyes were flashing lights inside him! The fast-chasing cars all of a sudden felt like we were trying to run over him and kill him 

He was a criminal!

His eyes kept searching for a safe spot to hide but

What was this? what wha-

It was Susan! Standing in front of him, smiling and laughing, he ran close to her wanting to hug her hide his head under her chin, and hold her tightly as he would let all of his fears sink into her arms, he rushed not caring if anything else was around him, he was about to touch her again, feel her again, again like the very first time, close he was close, a little more, fingers just about to brush and he we-

She left.
Disappeared
Far away into the dark of the night, with the cold winds blowing by
as he woke up, from the dream he was dreaming with wide-open eyes.
“Get lost, you mad man !”
“Do you have a death wish or something dude ?!”
Beep-beep!
He found himself stranded in the middle of the street, while the drivers kept yelling and
cussing asking him to move away if he doesn’t wanna kill himself,
She had left her stranded,
again.

A stranger pushed him from the middle of the street and he fell right in front of the doors of a beer cafe
It didn’t take him more than a second to realize that this beer cafe was the same as the one he used to visit with his friends in college.
Today he was back there, everything was the same, the seats, the lights, the color of those walls
which he rarely had time to notice back then because he used to be so happy with his friends. well, wasn’t that happiness?
Well.
Everything was the same, except for him
The only empty seat in that big shop was next to an old man.
“Hey there !”
Said the old man, delighted to have someone sit next to him
“Hi”
He was kind of ashamed of lowering the excitement in the voice of the old man with his morose Hi,
“Not really a happy New Year’s Eve huh ?”
The waiter had come in to serve them their cups of drinks. He took one sip and felt nothing
that
could ease his pain, and took another. one more. and more.
He had almost forgotten that he was asked a question by someone who was the only person left
to be with him on New Year’s Eve.
He probably would’ve continued to get drunk and more drunk if those questioning eyes didn’t
ignite the last few drops of morality left in him.
“Happiness is a myth”
“Ah well… it might just be, but then again, what’s not?
“We don’t know life before birth, we don’t know life After birth, how are we gonna come up to
conclusions about life itself ?”
Said the old man, hysterically laughing and sipping his wine.
He wasn’t really in a position to have a decent reply to this stranger, but his voice gave some sort of trust in him.
“That ..is a way I never really thought “
“Haha, right..”.
“I helped my wife hide a dead body “

Shit!
OH NO!
What did he do?
He wasn’t supposed to do this, he wasn’t supposed to say this !!
He looked anxiously at the man on the other side, he was sipping his drink..as peaceful as the ocean..maybe he didn't listen to what he said.
“Are you all alone ?” he asked, partially because, he wanted to make sure he didn’t hear what he said, and also cuz, well…
“Oh me?Nah not at all..I have a big family at home.”
“So, why aren't you celebrating this day with them ?”
“Oh.. didn’t I tell you? I have a family but at home. I don’t live at my home anymore, my family is really good you know. they sent me here, they said, this is where everyone at my age goes these days”
He took out a card from his ragged pocket, it was the card of the Mental Hospital.

Sipping beer with a mad person on new year’s Eve? Was this all that was left of him in this life? Initially, he got scared and even thought of running away, but then, he asked himself, where to?
And, he himself was a criminal, he hid a dead body and married a serial killer..if anyone should be scared here, it should be that old man
So he sat, Smiled lightly at him and sipped on his drink

“So, they let you go out and drink wine?”
“Oh no.no. They said I am fine now...I can go home..but..”
“But ?”
With a little smile, he said, “They have a bigger family now”
“I saw my grandchildren from the window, they are beautiful, they look like princesses.
They are wearing little pink colored tops and they have this beautiful smile on their faces.
The house is much bigger now
They sold my old television set for the new one, they need it you know, to keep kids engaged
It’s hard to have a living for the four of them along with the dogs.
The cost of living is higher these days you know, I understand, they cannot afford to have an old man live with them, and any who, my days are numbered”
Never for once did he hear a voice of pain or regret, the old man’s eyes glistened as bright as the sunlight when he was talking of his grandkids.

He held his hand over the table and took up his glass of drink and said,
“To your grandkids”
“Haha! Yes, to my grandkids”

“Do you play that ?”
He asked the old man beside the chair of whom stood a guitar,
“OH
THAT?Yes.
I play the guitar, I like listening to music. I sing at different shops at different times of the year. they listen. and they give me money. It makes us happy..well..that’s all I do..”
“Do you wanna listen ?”
“Oh I would love to”
He brought out his guitar and started playing it with his hands as old as time, The strings started playing and the cafe fell silent to the sounds of his acoustic guitar.
He played like the god of the guitar.
He sang,
Everybody loves the things you do
From the way you talk
To the way you move
Everybody here is watching you
'Cause you feel like home
You're like a dream come true
Suddenly he remembered how he had started what is now killing him, how he had won Susan’s heart, remembered how she fell in love with his guitar covers,
“Can I do this again can I start from something that broke me once and start over hoping for a different end? is this possible?is there any life left in me? Any sanity? any joy? if not, do I still have the courage in me to start over again? To know that I will fall all over and over again, do I still believe? even if I don’t ?”
But if by chance you're here alone
Can I have a moment?
Before I go?
'Cause I've been by myself all night long
Hoping you're someone I used to know
You look like a movie
You sound like a song
My God this reminds me, of when we were young
The entire beer cafe went,
“When we were young when we were young”
It was a Grand Celebration of our deeds, indeed.

.    .    .