INTRODUCTION 

We often find ourselves in a situation where we have to keep quiet about some topic, or another person 'shush' us for uttering the 'taboo' word.

So What does taboo mean? Taboo means 'something that you must not say or do because it might shock, offend or make people embarrassed'. Traditionally, It refers to an activity or behaviour that is prohibited due to religious, social, or cultural reasons. In a modern context, however, the word taboo is less specific and often used to describe something that's considered socially unacceptable or controversial. It's recently that the attitude and thinking of society have started to change. But still, it's a long way to go. Few of such topics and why they shouldn't be considered 'taboo' in this changing world are discussed below.

1. SEX & SEX EDUCATION:

If there ever was a competition about which topic is the most taboo in the world, Sex would surely bag the first position with all the votes. Not only in India, but all over the world, parents always keep their kids as far away as possible and as long as possible from that word, as if it's something sinful. But compared to other developed and developing countries, India is still very backward in that matter. In our country, it is considered that sex corrupts young minds and that it distracts them from the right path.

But what is sex? Sex is the state of being either male or female. The taboo part is the intercourse i.e. 'Physical activity between two people involving the sexual organs' i.e penis for a male and vagina for a female. Sex can mean different things to different people. Sex provides pleasure, not only to the body but also to the mind. Sex can be a way to communicate love between partners or it can be for mere pleasure. A person is considered to be impure if they've lost their virginity in pre-marital sex. Now we all know that is how a baby is conceived. When a penis makes contact with the vagina and the sperm is released by the male into the female egg, that is how we all are here. Then why is it considered something sinful? Why do teachers still skip the reproduction chapter from our science book? Why do parents keep their children as far away as possible from the reality of the human body? 

I don't need to remind any of you about the horror we had upon discovering that we weren't a gift from an angle, but something our parents did behind closed doors. Sex. It shattered the whole idea of our sweet family. And for a while, just for a while, we looked at our parents differently. We cringed at the idea of it. We couldn't look at them without thinking about it. Right? But we retreated, didn't we? Because it takes time for it to feel normal when all our lives it was considered as something dirty and bad. 

Now most of us used to believe that a child is born when a man and woman get married. Simple, right? And for ages, girls are sent away with their husbands without the knowledge of what is going to happen next, like it's not a big deal for a shy girl to get naked in front of a stranger. BUT lT IS A BIG DEAL. A mother never taught her daughter and sent the innocent soul into the unknown. So shouldn't we consider it rape instead of sex? And did keeping her in the dark mean that she didn't have to go through it? She will have to, be alone & embarrassed about what happened. Scared to talk about her bleeding vagina. Scared of thinking about why it was happening. Then wasn't her mama's duty to explain what sex is? Or the dad's duty to introduce his son to manners and gentleness in one way or another? This is a high time for Indian parents and teachers to talk about sex like it is normal. Because it is. 

Children should be educated about their bodies and how it functions. How our body responds to hormonal changes. How our bodies are developing into womanhood and manhood and what it means for them. Lack of sex education often gets teenagers caught up in mess. Nobody teaches them about safe sex or contraceptive measures. But the attraction is not going to dissolve into thin air. It takes the shape of mistakes, as it only creates more anticipation among curious minds. So they make mistakes that nobody warned them about. And the next thing the girl knows is her belly has started to swell and she doesn't know what is happening to her body. Most parents will abandon their children instead of supporting them because it will bring shame to the family. But they aren't ready to accept that they are responsible for it. If only they would've taught them about sex and safe sex and everything that comes with it, it would've been avoided. Girls and boys get tied down with the baby and their duty is to provide them with basic needs. Their entire future gets jeopardised. Even if someone decides to abort the child, abortion can be as painful and hard as other operations. So why not go with 'prevention is better than cure'? Why not teach them? Why not have a normal talk?

Also, teenagers should not be restricted from exploring their sexual sides. This is considered a controversial topic in most Indian households. Pre- Marital sex is considered a sin in almost all cultures in India. Boys and girls are not allowed to even talk to each other. But as Marco from 'the kissing booth' once said 'You Can’t Really Hold On To Someone. Cause The Tighter You Hold On To Them, The More They Want To Slip Away'. That's it. The truth has been spoken. The more you try to keep them away from something that is considered taboo, the more they are going to want to know about it. As I said before, the attraction between two sexes isn't going to dissolve in thin air. Our body has various needs and as we grow up sexual needs become one of them. And the attraction. I keep saying that word because attraction can lead one to dangerous things. And what teenagers feel is attraction. The pull towards the opposite sex, towards a world that is clearly not meant to be uttered. They research sex and end up getting addicted to porn. Yet another growing issue for parents. Like western countries, we can give our children the freedom to explore themselves with proper communication about their bodies and turn the dangerous thing into something normal and maybe beautiful.

Our parents were brought up differently, but they should be smart enough. They should know better from their own experience. Studies say that parents should start sex talk with their kids from the age of 11. Those who disagree should at least consider the talk around the 14 to 18 age.

Considering all the above information, it is high time for Indian parents to think about the safety of their children and provide them with sex education.

2. MENSTRUATION:

I'll start by answering what Menstruation is, the elephant in the room everyone tries to avoid. Menstruation, or period, is normal vaginal bleeding that occurs as part of a woman's monthly cycle. Every month, your body prepares for pregnancy. If no pregnancy occurs, the uterus, or womb, sheds its lining. As I explained above, when the sperm enters the woman's vagina and if it finds the egg to fertilise, a child is conceived. The ovaries release the female hormones oestrogen and progesterone. These hormones cause the lining of the uterus (or womb) to build up. The built-up lining is ready for a fertilised egg to attach to and start developing. If there is no fertilised egg, the lining breaks down and bleeds. So Menstruating basically means that you are not pregnant.

When we get hurt physically, we bleed through our skin and that is normal. But because the vagina is a private part and a supposed taboo word, a bleeding vagina automatically makes it into the list of 'taboo'. 

Girls usually start their periods around 8 to 18 years of age. It May last from 2 to 7 days. At a tender age where boys get to be childish and behave like their age, girls have to mature earlier and keep their mouths shut about it. Besides bleeding from the vagina, you may have:

• Abdominal or pelvic cramping pain
• Lower back pain
• Bloating and sore breasts
• Food cravings
• Mood swings and irritability
• Headache and fatigue.

We have to experience the worst pains every month and keep it quiet from society. Just because they decided that it's taboo to talk about it. Every month, we find ourselves going through a pain that sometimes feels close to dying. And yet when someone asks us what happened, we lie and tell them that it's a regular stomach ache. We tiptoe around our own house and our own spaces, carrying sanitary products, just so the male members of the family won't be notified about our period. We feel embarrassed about getting a stain despite taking all the care in the world. 

Boys find these situations weird and questionable because just like in the reproduction chapter, teachers tend to skip the Menstruation topic. Educating everyone about Menstruation is just as important as sex education. It is a part of a girl's life and girls are a part of a world where boys and men also live. So Menstruation eventually becomes a part of their life, and they should know about it. They should know how they can help their dear mothers and sisters, their friends and girlfriends, their colleagues, or anyone in the world. It would help make this planet a little better altogether.

We all know that medical stores use as many layers of paper as they have ( that was an exaggeration) and tuck it safely into the black carry bag as if it's some kind of explosive. Buying and selling sanitary products is expected to be embarrassing just like buying a condom when there is no need for any. And yet everybody knows what we are carrying in the bag. So why all this unnecessary hide and seek, and with whom? Who are we hiding it from? Definitely not women. Then why men? What difference will it make if we just let them know, or say, that not hide it from them? If anything then it will make a good difference, of that I am sure.

Many religions forbid their women for that time of the month, declaring they are impure. They are not allowed to enter temples or go anywhere near god. They are not even allowed to touch the religious books or enter the kitchen. They have to sit in a corner like an abandoned pets till they are considered pure. Then does that make a baby impure too? For it was kept safe for 9 months in the bubble of the same blood? So it means all the men are impure too, doesn't it?

With the help of social media, there has been a lot of awareness about Menstruation cycles among everyone nowadays. Colleges and schools have started giving sanitary products for free. Working women are allowed leave for the period days. It's a start, and we can only hope for a future where periods are a normal topic not only for women but also for men. Where working women are understood by their employers and companies, to make better policies for them. Where a girl can express her pain and struggles about Menstruating freely. Where girls don't have to suffer trauma because of a lack of information and sanitary products. Where period blood isn't considered impure. Where that word becomes normal to utter. 

3. BREASTS & BREASTFEEDING:

The way a woman's body and its functions are the biggest targets of 'taboo culture'!! So many opinions and so many rules to follow. HOW to cover our body, where to cover our body, WHEN to cover our body, and When NOT to cover our body. Which parts are OK to leave bare and which are NOT. The list goes on and on. It never stops. 

And one such body part is the female breasts, Either of the two enlarged soft parts on a woman's chest that contains a gland that produces milk when she has a baby. That's it. Like all other body parts, it has a function. But female breasts or nipples are something that should be strictly covered, unlike male nipples. Even the cleavage is considered improper. We always have to be so sure that those certain body parts are neatly covered and invisible from the prying eyes of men, and even women. The truth is, the more normal we make these things, the more normal they will start to feel. People will get used to it slowly. When it comes to female bodies, it is the female that could make all the difference. Women, mostly the older generation, often keep their own species in a cage. But what they don't understand, what we don't understand is that we are the only way we can free ourselves of these social norms. Mothers and aunties keep suppressing girls to hide their bodies from the world, making suffocating rules. Fighting against these rules by coming together will be the start of freeing our bodies.

Also, the fact that the same breasts produce milk after a baby is born is something we don't want to think or talk about. We don't know the struggles of a new mother and the hardships while breastfeeding. Breastfeeding a baby in public is also an unwritten ban in our country. When a mother is outdoors and she wants to feed her baby, she has to search for a corner where they could be invisible, so that she won't make other people uncomfortable. Does that even make sense? We take something so natural and beautiful and make it into something that is expected to be embarrassing. A mother feeding her hungry babe with a plastic bottle seems to be more appealing than the natural way for many people. They would rather let him stay hungry than to let the mother expose her breast. A normal body part and fat like all other body fat are what a breast is. Boobs or breasts are made for breastfeeding and provide nourishment to a baby. Not for people to have opinions and create controversies over.

Like other issues that women face in day-to-day life, this issue has been also spoken about. But nothing will change till we don't change our mindset about it. So if you see a woman breastfeeding in public next time, remember not to make a big deal out of it. Remember not to make her feel embarrassed about it. Remember to spread awareness among others who might need it.

4. HOMOSEXUALITY & SAME-SEX MARRIAGES:

In 1989, the Netherlands became the first country to legalize gay marriages. Several countries followed its steps. Decades later, India still hasn't been able to do the same. It's the Twenty-first century and the LGBT communities are still fighting for their rights. But even if it was legalised on paper, many people in society haven't yet found it in their hearts to accept such norms and people. Even if gay people get all the support they can get on the Internet, they have to face hardships in real life. Forget about the society, their own families aren't ready to accept them as they are. They try to change their minds, brainwash them, pray to god for their son and daughter in exchange for their soul (again, it's exaggerated, but kind of true), and even send them to conversation therapies that are no better than torcher. Their family's name and fame mean more to them than their child's happiness. Developing feelings about the same sex can be just as normal as developing feelings for the opposite sex. It's natural, it is the way some of us are made. Being a homosexual or heterosexual or even a trans doesn't decide a person's worth. The real worth lies in the heart. I know we keep saying that, but it's time we start accepting it too.

I find it absolutely heartbreaking to know that the maximum number of people in India choose not to come out, for fear of their families and so-called society. They choose to live by the terms of a world that is cruel to its own and live in a shell all their lives. And what kind of life must that be? Void of reality and happiness. A lie. I might have friends who are homosexual, but of course, how would I know? Because that's not even a thing according to some people, who think they are smart enough to rewrite the science of the human body and mind. But if a friend of mine ever wants to come out to the world, I promise I would be there for them, and so should the person reading this right now. A boy moving or behaving like a girl is often teased by his own friends and peers. A girl not wanting to act like the prescribed attributes of a girl is often scolded by her parents. People stare and talk about them, they make fun of a human without considering the effects they would have on their minds. They don't think twice about the mental trauma they put a person through.

Now and then we keep reading stories of how a person got disowned by their families for being what they are. And they say that a parent's love is unconditional. Why can't they understand that LOVE is LOVE, irrelevant to the gender? They force their sons and daughters to be with someone they don't love. It can destroy lives and hearts, not only of one but all the people that get pulled into it. 

I wanna say this to the parents, Just try to own the fact and see how happiness floods your hearts. See how the people you are so afraid of, accept it with you. See how everything feels normal and alright. Join hands with your loved ones to make this world a better place to live.

5. HOUSE HUSBANDS:

"Did you know her husband does all the housework and she works to earn instead? He definitely isn't man enough, letting his wife go out while he sits home doing nothing"

"He must be irresponsible and unworthy anyways"

"Look at him taking care of the baby like a woman. So shameful"

These comments can enter like a dagger in someone's heart. But people don't care, as long as they get a handful of things to gossip about. House-husbands are not yet common in a country like India. But if you have seen the movie 'Ki and Ka', you'd know what I am talking about. A house husband is a man taking care of the house and family as a housewife. Many people call themselves educated and yet can't accept a woman taking the lead for her family and a man staying back at home looking after his family. It's an arrangement that is set against the unwritten rules of society. But if that's the way it's working out for somebody, then other people have no reason and right to have opinions about it. Just like a man, a woman has ambitions to test her limits and touch the sky. And just like a woman, a man has a heart and mind to support his partner. Just like a woman, he can cook, bathe the kids and send them off to school, Just as perfectly.

With this discussion, the long argument about a boy learning Housekeeping skills comes to light. Just like a girl, a boy should know how to cook and clean. Every parent must ensure that all their children, despite their gender, should be taught basic life skills. The roots of shaming the house husband arrangement go deeper to centuries back, when we started labeling the duties of men and women. But the times are changing and it's leading us to let go of whatever mistakes we made long ago. 

If you are a woman who is against this idea, then just for a moment picture your husband staying home and supporting you to make your dreams come true. You do not need to worry about your children and their needs. Just out there spreading your wings and making your family proud. If you are a man who is against this idea, then picture yourself staying at home taking care of the house, and not worrying about expenses day and night. Finding some time alone to follow your hobbies that otherwise, you would have never found time to do so. This is very cruel disbelief that housewives or house-husbands do nothing sitting at home. Taking care of a house and family is a constant job with no holidays. But people find happiness in doing so. Then who are we to tell them that what they are doing is good or bad? If you can't support someone's decision then please don't try to discourage them.

Instead, try to think it like

"Look at him, he is such a good husband. Taking on the responsibility of the house so his wife could work."

"They share all the responsibilities of their kids and adjust their work times to be home to them. I wish I could have that opportunity."

"Their house is always filled with aromas of delicious food. He is an amazing cook."

Doesn't it sound so good? Letting go of corrupted and rusted traditions and replacing them with easy and new ones. I hope in the near future, we don't ponder over a husband wanting to be a stay-home husband and accept it with open minds.

CONCLUSION

Including the above and the ones that did not make into this list there are many topics in the world that need to be eradicated as 'taboo'. We should practise humanity more often in this cruel world. Be kind and respect our own and others. Be kind to our women and make this place a better and safer place to live. Be kind to our men for taking the lead and steps necessary to change the unwanted customs and norms of the world. To educate the children to be kind and smart to know they have an important role to play in changing the world for the better. I hope the person reading this right now has their heart and thoughts on the better side of the world and if not, I hope I was able to change it.

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