Don't we all feel like this at least at some point in our life, to start over, to just forget everything? "What do you do when you are all alone and Upset?" I had no clue what to answer it's not like I haven't experienced being sad, but at that point this question made me realise, that I never knew what to do when I got all blue and lost. All I did was stare into the abyss, spend my days looking at the ceiling crying over things I couldn't change, and wonder what I did to deserve all this or what more was left to do now... sinking into that pain made me so furious that I had to snap out of it (easier said than done), made me feel so weak that I couldn't take it anymore.

And for a fact, no one teaches you what to do when you go through a mental drain, or feel low or exhausted. What to do when you are all alone, and all your friends, family, and loved ones are busy dealing with their problems, and you don't want to disturb them with your burdens or even if you don't have friends or close ones to talk to, What do we do then?

Everyone around you and everything you search over the internet will tell you it's easy to stay happy alone, and you can do this and that or talk to strangers or just get over it because it doesn't matter... but everyone's coping mechanisms and depth of pain is far more different from everyone else. For example, we need to understand a simple concept; something that wouldn't bother me and could be absolutely shocking to someone else. Basically, in the end, you are left all alone with those thoughts and not knowing what to do, sometimes even talking to your close ones doesn't help. So, What do you do to help yourself? How do you snap out of it? How to get out of those temporary cycles? How to make it a habit? Because, to be honest, bad things will happen, you will go through sad times, you will be mentally exhausted, and you will feel like a wasted space it is inevitable, but you can deal with it. Trust Me!

I will not say Life will always be all bursts of sunshine and rainbows and butterflies, it will also be summertime sadness, gloomy days and winter blues.

So here are some ways you can use to help yourself cope with your demons. Slow but effective!! Head - Start, I am no professional, so these things listed below are what I tried to help me cope.

1. Music:

Music is the best way to relieve stress, anxiety, and pain. There is great feel-good music present nowadays, the best way to cheer yourself up is to listen to the ones you connect, the ones that have a happy memory attached to them or the best ones according to me are party music!! They just boost your adrenaline. Everyone has their unique taste in music, some listen to melody, jazz, rap and slow songs and some prefer sad songs, whatever your choice is just do what would calm your mind, rush your heart, soothe your thoughts or level your anxiety and help you think clearly. Always remember to feel your pain, sadness and emotions.

2. Meditation:

Meditation can help you calm down, feel good about yourself and enjoy your presence. We often forget to be with ourselves in this busy journey of life trying to get everything right and having it all under control, but my friend no matter how much you need to do all those worrying we need to understand that our brain and heart need that much peace and calm to work properly and not make a mess out of ourselves. Meditating can be frustrating when you think you cannot concentrate and get your thoughts in order, so don't beat yourself over the fact that you cannot calm down, you are no professional and doing something for the 1st time will be a slow process. Just go with the flow of it, even if you can concentrate and focus for 5 minutes, it's a good job - good progress. Remember everything starts at baby steps.

3. Hobbies:

Another effective way to cope with anxiety, depression, and loneliness is to get in touch with the innate talents or hobbies you love to do. It can be anything, singing, dancing, writing, skating, swimming, cooking, baking, gardening, etc. One way to calm yourself down and help you feel proud and happy and realize that you are amazing just the way you are with all the immensely unique talents. You can also learn new things, like musical instruments, languages, painting, etc. Most importantly, make sure you do anything that makes you feel better and productive even if you don't feel like doing so... Just Do It!

4. Yoga:

Well, how can we leave Yoga behind, to be honest, one of the best ways to help you clear your mind, align with your inner consciousness and awaken the Magic called You!! The best thing about meditation and yoga is that you can do it in your own comfort. Yoga helps you connect with yourself and makes you aware of the things that go around you and what your mind thinks about most when it's all alone. It is the best way to help you calm your thoughts, get in line with them or just achieve mental peace. Calming your raging wild thoughts is the best way out of any situation. And meditating or yoga doesn’t always mean having candles lit, a mattress and every other thing that follows, simply just sitting by yourself and exploring the thoughts you are going through is all you need. You just have to try to find yourself and address the things that HURT you and Why. What triggers those feelings? Why do you get outraged or completely shut down of emotions? Remember Getting in touch with your emotions is the best way to control your emotions.

5. You:

The last and the most important "YOU" - This is nothing about being independent and doing everything on your own, saving yourself simply means taking the time, patience and effort to know yourself. All our lives we spend time knowing, understanding, and helping everyone else but What about us? We spend absolutely little to no time learning about ourselves, and by knowing about ourselves I don't mean knowing what you will become in the future or where you will be 5 years from now; even though these are important stuff, understanding the self is far greater than figuring out your life (according to me, of course, everyone's perspectives are different). We have been taught to bottle our emotions, not react to things that hurt us, never speak up if we are uncomfortable, learn to always read the room, make sure we are considerate about others' feelings... etc, etc. What about your own feelings? You are human too, bottled emotions can usually come out as rage and anger which could turn even normal situations ugly.

So it's very important to keep in check what you feel, be it anger, sadness, rage, envy, guilt, happiness, etc. This will help you gain perspective and help you evaluate your basic needs to express and feel things like you are supposed to. Loneliness often surfaces when we avoid ourselves. I am not saying you don't need people, all of us do... but you also need you! And I am sure as hell not suggesting you to be self-obsessed but to be Self-Aware. In basic terms, Self-obsession focuses on "me," while self-awareness understands "me." Keep in mind that Understanding your feelings is like having a map to navigate through life.

Lastly, whatever you learn from this today, whether you apply it or not. Remember that you are your own Hero. Stepping inside your darkness and out of it is as simple as walking in and out of the door... All it takes is the courage to open that door!!

If you want the Light, you will first have to reach for it.

A little Poetry for all my Heros out there:

This extends to all the ones that feel like a Wasted Space,
I know life is hard and shit happens day after day!!
Some days make you bleed,
Some cut you deep,
Some hurt your soul and
Some weaken your bones,
Some days make you cry and
Some days you just wanna Die!!
But I see the Glimmer in your eyes, rare as the Comet in the sky,
Obviously a Taylor Swift line!!
So Long Story Short,
You'll make it through, you'll be the strongest disciple in this Battle called LIFE!!
WITH ALL THE LOVE,
THIS EXTENDS TO ALL THE ONES THAT FEEL LIKE A WASTED SPACE!!
MAY HOPE BE YOUR BEST FRIEND, STRENGTH BE YOUR SHIELD
AND YOU SHINE AS BRIGHT AS THE DIAMOND YOU ARE!!
To making it Through the Dark!

.     .    .

References:

• Kisuke Urahara Image by Disha Vimal.
• Self Obsession Poster Antonella Renzulli by Antonella Renzulli.
• Self-awareness Image from Adobe Stock.
• Poem By Disha Vimal.
• Other images from the blog Lessons Learned in Life by Disha Vimal.
• Link of the Blog: https://learnlifewithd.blogspot.com/