I was walking by the sea, just another escapade from the bustling life, an hour of peace and silence in the chaos we live in, with plugged earphones and no music, just silence, me, the river, and the sun, the sun dancing with its orange and purple hues against the backdrop of the darkening blue sky. The sun, going down the river, taking with it, a myriad of colours. I stood still, watching the ebbing rays mellow down and melt into the waves of the river. I saw the bright orange take hues of blues, I saw the sun graciously going back, hiding beneath the waters, like it was accepting it, the sun went down without a fight, it went down like a proud king biding his time. A king, proud but not loud, a king waiting biding to strike in the open.

I stood still as the seawater crashed to the shore, as the waves became louder, as the world became colder, I stood still, waiting. I felt like I had watched something monumental, something magical that only a few are lucky to see. I felt like I saw a historic event unfold, right in front of my eyes, an event beyond mortals and fairies, an event beyond the realms of space and time, I saw a million things in just seconds of human time, as is time stood still with me and we watched alongside, this miraculous event unfolded, just for us to see.

I walked back in silence, I drove back in silence, I was on autopilot, not being able to snap out of the magic I had witnessed unfurl right in front of me. I couldn’t eat, I tossed and turned in my bed that night, I couldn’t sleep, it was just a sunset, wasn’t it? Why was it bothering me so much? Why did my heart feel heavy to the core? I gave up on sleep, pulled up my hoodie and went out to the gardens in the wee hours of the morning with a cup of hot tea in my hands. It was dark, light was just creeping its way up the horizon. I sat down on the grass and stared, my mind zoning out, finally better with the cold and the darkness around me, the dew in my feet and the crisp air hitting my face. I felt the moment before it happened, the moment in time when earth would be coldest before the sun rose and warmed the world.

I still remember the first rays of the sun I saw that morning, peeking out from the shadows, bright rays through the trees and leaves, cutting through the darkness, of the night and my mind. It felt like the trees caught fire, and for the first time in the day, birds chirps cut through the silence of the darkness, an inch at a time, I saw the sunrise and the world came alive in front of me. I gasped, took a huge breath and my chest felt incredibly lighter for the first time after the evening I had the day before, as if a huge weight had been removed. The king had arrived, and he arrived regally with an aura strong enough to wake the whole of the dormant world up.

Someone once told me, that to gain depth of heart I had to watch life come into being and watch life go. I took it literally, I thought I had to see childbirth and someone’s death to gain depth of heart in that aspect. I knew it then; I knew what life coming to the world meant, I saw life go and then I saw life come, I saw death and I saw hope.

With Love,

Lax

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