We are saying we are processing to an inclusive society. A society where we treat men and women with equal respect. A society where we say women in no less than a man. A society where we can see women going to Moon or even flying the plane. But when it comes to respecting, we still treat them unequally. We still judge a girl as “characterless “if she comes home late. We still term them as “uncultured” if their percentage of male friends is more than women, or if she prefers western clothes.
In the era of the 21st century wherein one side, we are worshipping HER as a Goddess another side, we are judging her in every aspect of life. We still believe that the character of a girl lies in her vagina. We still teach our girls to be careful, as once you lose your respect society will not you consider a good girl. We impose unlimited shackles on her movement in the name of respect. We burden her childhood, by making her aware if she is touched by a man then she is not worth being part of society. As a daughter, only her virginity can be the yardstick for measuring her and her family’s respect.
Any guy misbehaving with her, we expect her to be quiet. Daily, she steps out of constant fear of being touched by other men against her wish. In a democratic county, she is not given the basic freedom to wear the clothes she desires. Article 14 -18 of the Indian constitution talks about the Right to Equality, but when comes to a girl we cannot create a society where she can choose to be touched or not. She has to face molestation on the bus, eve-teasing on roads and sometimes forced sex in marriage. She can be touched by many men against her will, and in some rural places, only the girl is blamed for the same. Our Society Flagbearer says she must have allured the guy, so had to face such consequences.
Rape is not physical torture but the trauma of a lifetime. In the era, of liberty and equality, we are depriving a girl of the right to live peacefully and freedom of movement. As traveling alone in Nights can cause her to be raped, wearing short clothes can be the reason for being raped. Even being friends with guys can be the reason for being raped. On one side, we are worshipping Goddess KALI who kills demons, and on another side, we are judging a rape victim on her character. She cannot continue her job, as the company feels it will be degrading for them. She can never get married as her virginity the “only proof of her purity” that is snatched by some monster. She cannot attend any function because everybody will either try to show her sympathy or judge her. In short in a so-called inclusive society, we fail to include a normal girl who just faced harassment by some demons.
The news channel will hide her face and gave her a new name and identity called “RAPE VICTIM”. Her face will be made blurred, but my question is Why? On one side we as a society failed to give her the basic right to choose whom she wants to be touched. Only some men by using physical power got the privilege of taking her “so-called honor”. Now we are also taking her courage to face society. The boy who did the crime can roam freely, can show his face in society, and even have the privilege to get married. As per our law, nobody is guilty before being proven. As per the Indian judiciary, the time to give justice is very long. As the number of cases is huge, in short, we took the basic Right to Live, of a simple girl because of being raped.
In many situations in the name of honor, we force the girl to get married to his rapist. It is seen as a symbol of honour in Indian society. It is said marriage gives the man license to torture his wife on daily basis, which he did one day for enjoyment purposes. The girl has to go through the horrific incident on daily basis, but our so-called society who judged her honour by her vagina feels it logical. A man can sleep with as many women as he wants, but a woman coming close to other men beyond his husband is termed “abshakuna”. She is expected to pass the “white bed sheet test” on the first night to prove her purity. The raped girl gets dates from the court in the name of justice, and the criminal enjoys a happy married life with a family. Even if in any situation, any boy accepts a girl who is raped as a partner we treat him as God. We say that the boy has a big heart to marry the victim. But if a boy is a widower or had many partners the girl marrying the same boy, is never given the honour of God.
So as a society we can only change our perspective. We can start taking them, as a part of society. They do not need our sympathy nor candlelight march. They need the support that they will not be judged for some other person’s wrong deeds. They will be given the same respect, given before facing the incident. We will not seclude them, nor call them by different names. We will treat them like us, as we treated them for a long. No gossip on the incident, nor trying to show extra care. Just a smile and welcome, with an assurance that the incident did not change anything in their life. We will teach our son to respect, and the yardstick of judging a girl’s honour by her vagina needs to be changed. We together can create an inclusive society, a society where she can walk with her head held high. A society where she can wear, what she wants and can reach home when she desires. But still, nobody will have the audacity to touch her beyond her permission. As per the NCRB report India faces 77 rape cases daily, so it proves how safe a society we are giving to a major population of our country. Let’s create a society where we can let our girl breathe freely without fear of being judged and touched against her will. A society where we will teach our sons that their partners are equal in every aspect.