You think you rule the world. Maybe you do.

You sneer that this world wouldn’t exist without you. Maybe it wouldn’t.

You gloat that failure to you is elusive. Well, you’ve failed. Failed as the dictator you take pride in being.

Russia and Ukraine have been at war for quite some time now. People have died, economies have been ruined, but yes, you magnanimously stand for peace. Every falling bomb profits your finances. Every blow to Russia soothes your ego. Every day the conflict continues you secure your position as the cool kid in town. Irrespective of this when you say that you want the war to end, I wholeheartedly believe you. Afterall, statements like – “The US will fight Russia until the last Ukrainian” are absolutely ridiculous.

We mustn’t fall for them.

Afghanistan is suffering from the shackles of poverty, regression and injustice. Your troops were stationed there for 20 years but peace continues to be evasive. You killed innocent civilians, exploited their oil resources and used them for geographical influence. Besides, we mustn’t forget how the Taliban was formed in the first place. I always assumed that you were the ideal big brother to a developing country, someone who empowers the rest of us.

But yes, you are impeccable, so I am sure you had your reasons.

Your concern for the rest of the world despite your personal problems leaves me inspired. You have not only shown prudence in staunchly preventing Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons but also have been an active advisor towards where India should procure her oil from. While you show great alacrity in assisting the rest of us, you might have been ignoring your own people for just a bit. Your children are being shot at their schools. Your women are being denied fundamental rights over their bodies. Your immigrants are having to endure antagonizing crimes of hate. But still, you continue to worry so much about my decisions.

Gosh, being America must be so hectic.

Europe is suffering from a gas crisis because it is too subservient to disobey its master. When my country makes her own choices you attempt to scare us away with your trite sanctions. You condemn us for importing Russian oil, forgetting that you are the ones blocking Iranian and Venezuelan oil from entering the market. You warn us of ‘strict action’, forgetting that my country is no longer a puppet of your fancies.

But I’m sure that you were just trying to look out for us.

I love the US, I hope I’ve made that clear.

But unless you leave behind your complex, where you feel that we need you more than you need us, this relationship will never really work out.

You truly are the self-appointed custodian of this world, and I’m here to casually remind you to stay within your limits.

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