Since the inception of civilization on earth, humans have been believed to exist through networking. We have established relations with everyone. In fact, we might not know people outside our circle but have an unspoken relationship with the community that we live in. And when there’s a relation, there are specific laws that people are meant to follow. From time immemorial we have been dictated by these laws on how we are expected to behave, our choices, and our freedom to make decisions, all of these in some ways are influenced by the society we live in. Decriminalizing same-sex marriages, divorces, happy remarriages, intercaste or interfaith marriages, and conversion to a different religion, a lot has changed since we gained independence almost eight decades ago. All of these were fairly unheard of or maybe even considered “shastro ke khilaf” earlier but with western influences on our culture and other sociological factors, people these days are more accepting. 

Even my grandparents and many other people from the older generations wouldn’t tolerate the concept of ‘live-in relationships’, and might get offended or scared by it but for the generation of today, this level of freedom is something that they have grown with and thus don’t find it perturbing. All these laws somewhat define our relationships with each other; navigating us on how to live and love in this society. 

'Is personal freedom absolute?’, this question has always troubled me. 

However, the transition has never been smooth. Still, some people are trapped in their intolerant families. I have seen people calling ‘homosexuality’ a mental illness. People are living in unhappy marriages only because marriage is a pious institution that works on the principle of compromise and understanding, even today women are mocked for their potentiality and individuals are compared with others only because they fizzled out at what pados wale uncle ya door ki chachi wanted from them. But what I fail to understand is that until when personal happiness will be sacrificed at the altar of the shackles of what people think and what’s expected from us. ‘Is personal freedom absolute?’, this question has always troubled me. Albeit we say that we want to live our life on our terms but every time we bow down, either because of our loved ones or because of the unprecedented situations that surround us. 

With each year passing by, I have come to realize that things that were often told to us, were just a big lie. Most of you might disagree with me but these lies were put as a band-aid, as a way to soothe us and lure us to deception because the truth is too painful. My parents told me that once you get into a good college, everything’s going to be easier for you, or I would rather say it as “life set ho jaayegi” but no one told me the challenges that it comes with, no one told me that I am supposed to do things on my own, that there’s no one standing behind to catch me if I fall. I know that with every good thing, there are some hurdles that we need to face and there should be, I mean that’s the beauty of life right? These are the things that teach us to live, those moments which become memories, a constant reminder of our growth, but why does this unveiling of the journey only unnerve us more? Why does this make most of us put our guards up and build our boundaries; inhibit us to do things as we want to do and not how the world wants?

Maybe this is the reason that people fear growing up because a life of oblivion is more rousing than a life that nudges you that you are not entitled to enjoy because gone are those days where you were young and happy. 

 Life is a journey, a beautiful one indeed, at every stage, we learn and unlearn something. I remember and most of you might too that as children, we were carefree, there were no complications, of course, I am not generalizing this, but things were easier. Birthdays were my favourite, not only mine but even my friends. Each birthday taught me something and today as I write this, I realize that not only did I lose one year of my life but also the innocence I had. With every birthday, I was fading away, losing myself to the mundanity of the people around me. Losing my essence, I was molded by them, who I never want to be like. Maybe this is the reason why my parents or grandparents don’t get excited about their special days anymore. Or maybe this is the reason that people fear growing up because a life of oblivion is more rousing than a life that nudges you that you are not entitled to enjoy because gone are those days where you were young and happy. 

Freedom comes with a cost, one that should be carefully negotiated, otherwise, our path of searching that has an active quest and numerous creative possibilities does even have the potential for self-destruction.

There has been a constant struggle amongst different generations, with their own set of challenges and impending desires to fulfill. I have seen older people talk about the freedom that people today have, wistfully looking at them and envisioning how their lives would have been if they were empowered and did things differently than how they turned out to be. 

But today, with too many choices, too early, the perpetual pursuit of validation from others, the overwhelming need to perform better and better on what is thought to be a world stage: the quest for perfection, an exhilarating set of demands from oneself and broader set of concerns, not only ones’ but also of others, all these coming at the cost of the thrilling life has to offer, the fame people want with the sole objective of individuality and independence- it has created enormous pressure, one that’s difficult to deal with. Freedom comes with a cost, one that should be carefully negotiated, otherwise, our path of searching that has an active quest and numerous creative possibilities does even have the potential for self-destruction.

With our lives moving at a rapid pace, the focus today should be on the happiness quotient. All over the internet, people are flocking to make others happy; there are webinars, feel-good content and many more such things because being happy is the new rich. People are putting an end to their careers only in the pursuit of real happiness and peace. The awareness that life has to be lived rather than saunter as a mere state of existence should be deep-rooted in our way of living. And thus, I hope that there will be days when we appreciate small things and fall in love with being alive again. I hope there will be days when we explore our wild sides, put an end to dead equations and simply love the ability and option to make new choices. I hope that we come to embrace this new level of personal freedom even more than making it exhaust us. The quote “Live and Let Live'' should become our new and I hope that all of us free ourselves from the judgements and pettiness of others and come to see the bigger picture with a larger purpose, which was difficult given that people viewed their lives with microscopic views in the past, deterring opportunities and warmth to bloom in. 

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