Our Parents are the reason we are here on this Planet, living this Human Experience and Life!

For most of us, our Parents are the most important part of our Lives. We love them, we respect them, we want to make them feel proud and the thoughts and feelings are different for each individual.

Although our parents have done things for us that we probably cannot even return, a lot of us may want to un-learn and re-learn and choose a different parenting approach than the one we were brought up with.

A huge part of the Young Adults may agree to feeling misunderstood or feeling uneasy at their home. A lot of issues like anxiety, fears, under-confidence, being anti-social could be connected to our childhood experiences. Some of us would’ve been compared to other kids at school, some might have got beat and scolded by their parents, either at their home or before other people, some people must have gone through body-shaming or probably still do. Some of us have been shouted at for just being expressive. All of these leave irreversible scars on the child’s mind and can stay even during adulthood or throughout life.

It is totally understandable that our parents’ only intentions were/are always to protect us and to keep us happy. Plus, the way they brought us up is because of the information or experiences they got from their own upbringing. It may not always be right to blame the parents – everyone’s parents are different and not everyone is causing pain to their kids, intentionally.

This new generation, however, has the fortune of being more outspoken and straightforward and has evolved to take their own decisions without giving too much importance to the so-called society and has grown to being confident and clear about who they are and what they want! Which means, because we have an enabling environment and a lot more understanding which is mixed with our own experiences and our current realities, we need to move ahead in the direction of becoming Responsible Partners and Caring Parents.

We ultimately are going to have a HUGE Responsibility! We are literally going to have this insane potential of shaping a Personality. A Life. Whether or not our child will be fearless, confident, feels cared for and loved, feels happy and unique is going to depend on us! At least, to a great extent. 

Although they may un-do all the parenting and outgrow the painful experiences and become different individuals just like a lot of us did, we do have a lot more tools than our parents did and we can use them to give our children the kind of love, care and respect they deserve.

Because just like our parents, we don’t want our kids to go through the things that we went through!

So, here are the TOP 35 Questions you must ask yourself if you are a New Parent, Parent-to-be or someone who would want to be a Parent, someday:

1. Should I yell at my baby or beat him for annoying or disturbing me by crying?

2. Should I ask my kid to hit the floor or wall or the person who caused him harm/pain to let him know Revenge is important?

3. Should I compare my kid to other kids at school or in neighbourhood to make him a “GOOD BOY” or “GOOD GIRL”?

4. Should I slap my kid who doesn’t even understand the difference between Right and Wrong, when he doesn’t do things as I tell him to?

5. Should I pressurize my child to get an X percentage or to always score the highest in the class?

6. Should I taunt or make my kid feel bad or conscious about his height, weight, complexion, body size/shape or the way he talks, walks or laughs?

7. Should I tell him that he needs to do XYZ things to deserve my love and to get a gift from me?

8. Should I address my relatives’ kids as role models for my unique child?

9. Should I scold/insult my child in front of other people while he’d be expecting me to be his pillar of support?

10. Should I ask my son to stop crying even if he feels like because he’d be girly by doing so?

11. Should I ask my daughter to dress up a certain way instead of making her a confident, strong lady?

12. Should I make a career choice of my choice for my child?

13. Should I ask my son/daughter to suppress the natural human hormonal reactions of being attracted to or falling in love with someone (and wanting to marry them) just because that person wasn’t born in the same religion/caste as us?

14. Should I ask my children to behave in a certain manner to conform to the baseless standards set by the “so-called” society?

15. Should I disrespect and fight with my partner before my kids for the reason that they need to know the truth of their parents’ relationship?

16. Should I ask my son to tolerate his wife’s dominance or interference in his personal life just because he loves her?

17. Should I teach my daughter to “adjust” with her husband and be okay with physical, mental and emotional abuse because it is better than Divorce?

18. Should I ask my kids to feel suffocated and not do what they want to because they need to be viewed as “sanskaari bachche” to people who are not even their parents?

19. Should I teach my son that it is always a woman's duty to do the household chores?

20. Should I teach my kids to choose an X Profession and follow a Y Passion because it is my unfulfilled dream?

21. Should I stop my child from trying out something that I have had a bad experience with and should I always ask him to play it safe by staying away from risks?

22. Should I force my child to be religious and to follow every little custom/tradition even if it doesn’t resonate with him?

23. Should I tell my child that his food preference needs to align with me/us?

24. Should I ask my kids to stay in the same place even if they have a growth opportunity in some other part of the Country or World?

25. Should I let my kids feel choked, trapped and helpless living with their own parents or in-laws just because I HAD to?

26. Should I tell my children that my experiences are a blueprint for them and they NEED to follow the same things at every step/milestone?

27. Should I scold or beat or threaten to abandon my adult child if he/she chooses a risky career or wants to marry someone he/she loves?

28. Should I stop his growth by imposing ideas that are actually too old/irrelevant for his/her generation?

29. Should I create feelings of fear and discomfort in the hearts and minds of my own kids? Should my presence feel irritating to them?

30. Should I make my kid a parent or a grown-up and use him/her to solve the personal issues I have with my partner?

31. Should I tell my children that they HAVE to respect people who clearly indicate they don’t deserve respect just because they are older than them?

32. Should I teach my child that he always needs to be at the top wherever he goes promoting toxic comparison and over-confidence?

33. Should I tell my son/daughter that Mental Health issues are non-existent or invalid?

34. Should I take the license of “allowing” him/her to do things even if my child has grown up to be a wise kid or is actually an adult?

35. Should I tell him the “kind of people” he can be friends with?

Answer these questions after REALLY thinking about them deeply. And, contemplate by being in a child’s position rather than thinking like a parent! (Remember! You’ve been a kid, too!)

I hope these questions help you navigate through and abide by the best parenting approach for your lovely kids and you turn out to be your Childrens’ Best Buddies and Strongest Supporters!

Happy Strong Bonds!! 

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