A Taboo is something that’s weirdly unacceptable by the so-called society, “the chaar log”, “the chaar log”, whose existence is still ambiguous.
And, the people around us always expect us to not be expressive of our views and opinions and love it when we keep following the taboos. Sometimes, taboos are forced. Sometimes, we tend to accept them. Sometimes, we accept them without even knowing we are doing so because removing and replacing information that has been stored in us through years is quite complex.
Show-casing the double-standards, here are the Top 25 taboos or unacceptable-by-the-society things that we hear, see and experience on an everyday basis, but all we can (or rather we are allowed to) do is either roll our eyes and/or rant about it with our friends or like-minded people in private OR just stay silent in public:
1. Expressing to your parents that you want to get into fields like fashion or cinema or take the road, less-travelled is unacceptable. But, your parents forcefully making you study engineering or medicine or any subject that guarantees a secure job and then also spreading the news in their circle is acceptable.
2. You telling a certain relative, straightforwardly about how you are not answerable to them and that you don’t need their opinions is unacceptable. But, they getting into your absolute personal space and asking you uncomfortable questions is acceptable.
3. Guys choosing female friends and Girls choosing male friends is unacceptable. But, forcing you to talk and get along with a match that THEY choose for YOU is acceptable. (Suddenly, you have to know how you need to talk to the opposite gender and not just that! Also marry them!!)
4. Men/Women choosing to marry someone they know really well and truly love is shameful and unacceptable. But, discussing about marrying and having kids (with the so-called partner who is still, by the way, a stranger) even in front of the whole family, relatives and friends' circle is totally fine.
5. Talking about periods, period pains or period products is a taboo. But, talking about how a woman’s shadow can affect a plant’s growth, how it can make a pickle go bad, how they shouldn’t enter the kitchen or pooja space can be openly discussed.
6. Women having a problem with a male colleague or a male relative is to be hidden. But, a male cracking misogynistic jokes is simply funny.
7. Men having emotional issues, not wanting to earn by doing a supposedly acceptable job, having health issues or being uncomfortable with parents’ choices is unacceptable. But, pressurizing a human being for sticking to XYZ standards and not expressing just because they were born as a male is cool and strong.
8. Women not being able to work in the kitchen or office due to period cramps is something that cannot be expressed. But, men making women do extra work even when they have a simple headache or fever is acceptable and is a woman’s duty.
9. A couple choosing to stay separately and not with their parents is them being a too-modern couple. But, staying in a house with forced rituals, almost zero personal space and everyday conflicts is “ghar ko baandhke rakhna”.
10. Choosing not to greet or touch feet of an elderly, you do not truly feel respect for, is not something you can do in front of the whole family. However, they can call you by names and sweetly insult you in front of the whole family. (They were born a few years before you, after all.)
11. Choosing to disagree with or just ignore a senior at office is rude and cannot be done before all your colleagues. But, the senior making fun of you or yelling out bad remarks about your work is acceptable.
12. Girls wearing crop-tops in public or even at their own home is unacceptable. But, Aunties wearing a saree which is just as equally exposing is being “sanskaari”.
13. Young men wearing shorts is exposing their hairy legs. But, Uncles wearing a vest exposing their hairy body and even scratching their bodies in public is normal.
14. Women need to get back home before the night time because if they are seen coming home too late, it is going to be viewed in a suspicious light by the neighbours. But, neighbours can bump in your house at any time of the day or night to ask you chai-patti or cheeni with a tinge of some personal questions. (At the end of the day, they are your second family.)
15. Females having body hair is not their choice and is unacceptable. But, Males can carry it with all the manliness, even if it is exposing their underarms.
16. If males don’t have a moustache/beard and/or choose to get their body hair waxed, they are less of a man and are unacceptable. Making fun of their personal choices before women or other men is fine and funny, though! (Also, they cannot cry or they hear a "stop being a girl".)
17. A couple choosing to take their own time to make a decision on having a baby is unacceptable because the clock starts ticking the moment they get married. But, the in-laws or other family members openly expressing their desire of a grandchild and sometimes even being gender-specific is normal.
18. Divorcing a person who you have figured out is not compatible for you is a bad thing. But, staying in a marriage that internally kills you every single day is “shaadi nibhaana”.
19. Talking openly about how a husband beats up his wife is disrespectful because he has the right and almost owns her. But, a man shouting at his wife in front of the family or even their children is normal and acceptable. (Because, again, he almost owns her.)
20. Talking about how the Wife mentally tortures and tries to control the Man is unimaginably unacceptable. But, assuming that it is always the Man who is wrong in an unhappy marriage meets the standards of the society.
21. Children clearly communicating their ideas and thoughts about love and marriage is unacceptable. But, parents deciding everything on how much money should be spent, what colours they should wear (Red is the most auspicious colour, you see! Your choices can be ignored also.), how they should stay in a joint family after marriage, how they have to take up additional responsibilities after getting married is them guiding their children.
22. Children expressing in public, how and why their Mom/Dad are wrong, even politely is being a brat. But, parents yelling at you in front of others is them just being parents.
23. Children shouting or fighting with parents is unacceptable. But, parents beating up even adult children is okay.
24. You questioning your Professor about a wrong concept or inadequate explanation is disrespectful. But, they discussing about your low scores before the entire class is alright.
25. You reading and writing articles about taboos can be viewed as being too (negatively) expressive and of course, being looked at, as the "modern zamaana". But, others supporting more and more age-old and irrelevant taboos like these in family WhatsApp groups, park talks, family get-togethers is them discussing the righteous path of behaving and leading a perfect life.
