Photo by Mary Taylor: pexels

The bell rings.

“Alright kids, pens down’’ the invigilator said.

Just gave my last exam as a school student today. They say it right “You always understand it’s worth when it's not with you anymore’’. Well, the school wasn’t going to be with me anymore. Never thought that leaving this place would haunt me so much. And to add to my pain I realized that the friends I share a special bond with are also not going to be with me anymore, physically. It’s been years, we literally grew together but never realized that we grew so close that going away would be so hard.

“Nisha……Nisha” my friend called from behind.

“Yeah”

“Where are you lost? How was the exam/” he asked

Exam. Do I care about it anymore? It felt like everyone was leaving me so how could I think about my result? I will not have these friends, teachers, and this place around me anymore. This feeling was making me insane.

“Good” I replied absent-mindedly.

“So, what next”

What next, college is next but without you guys. Maybe I’ll find someone else there but would I ever feel the way I feel here amongst everyone? Maybe everything would be better there, but would I feel like home there the way I feel it here? I don’t know. Leaving school meant no summer camps, no sports days, no chit-chatting in the class, no silly fights, no inter-house competitions, no uniforms, no hobby classes, no game periods, no school trips, no annual functions, no going together in the school bus. All of us were leaving so many things behind. I remember all the math lectures we skipped, every time we sneaked food in class, all those rehearsals for school functions, all those dance classes where we laughed at each other more than we used to dance, all those fights for seats in the computer lab, all those punishments from teachers, those long queues in front of the canteen. College might be good but would it ever feel this good? This felt so torturous. Why can’t we all stay together, study together, and have fun together like we did till now? I know silly of me to think this. It sounds so beautiful and perfect to be true but I’ll have to move on, right? Not just me everyone had to. We all had different ambitions, and different destinations to reach so obviously we all had to take different paths. I know it was hard, leaving the place where we spent half our childhood. Now we are all grown up, ready to enter the new phase of our lives.

“Umm, dad is here to pick me up Jai, I’ll talk to you later. Bye,” I said.

As I reached the exit I turned back and took a glance around. I waved at my friends with the most beautiful smile on my face and everyone responded with the same smile. Everyone looked happy but I knew from the inside they were somber just like me. I knew them very well.

I crossed this gate daily but my heart never felt this heavy the way it felt today. I still remember my first day here, I was so small, a literal child, and look at me today, I am a grown-up girl who has completed her school. Everything went by so fast. It feels like yesterday. A part of my soul was always going to stay here, always. This place was unforgettable. Last year I saw my seniors crying at their farewell, and now I understand what they were feeling like. I wonder if would they have met each other again after that day. Well, I and my friends had promised that we would meet each other from time to time. I didn’t know where we all would be in the next five to six months but promising each other to have reunions just gave a little assurance that we won’t lose each other.

I always used to think about how it would be when I grow up, completed school, and further explore my life. Well, there’s a sad side along with the exciting side. The exciting part is learning new things at new places, and meeting new people cannot be experienced without going through the sad part of leaving your old friends behind. But does this mean I would stop loving them now, and our bond would break? No. Even though they would not be by my side physically their memories would be.

Maybe after years when we meet each other someday, how would we look, what place we would have reached by that time, and what we all would have accomplished would make us so proud of each other. the dream we used to see in school, we would be living that dream. I wonder how we all would feel about each other living the success. I guess then I'll realize all the pain we felt moving apart was worth it. Well, whatever it would be I should focus on the present, it is what matters now.

.    .    .

Discus