Disaster, the word that represents the terror and fills the mind with fear. But has anyone ever noticed which the most dangerous disaster is?
Is it the cyclones or the earthquakes, or is it any of the manmade disaster like terrorism or war?
No, the most dangerous disaster is neither the natural nor the manmade disaster, it is the disaster which affects the lives of each and every one of us at some point of life and affects in the most hazardous way.
The disaster is called ATTACHMENT. Yes, that is the same thing that most of us spell by the name of LOVE not knowing the difference between the two.
Attachment is the part of the lives of each and every one of us but a question may arise that how it may be a disaster. So let me tell you that this is the reason for the stress and anxiety of most of us in one way or another, making it no less than the consequences caused by a disaster. The attachment usually turns even deadly when it takes the form and name of the love i.e. one of the purest things of the world.
Moving from the highly philosophical to the practical grounds of the 21st century, attachment is the feeling under which you want a thing more desperately than ever, naming it as the thing you love. And when you get the thing, the utility/value of the thing falls in your life even more rapidly than its greed arose. Putting more and more expectations on this thing makes it even more disastrous and may increase the intensity of upcoming disaster.
The most unique thing about this disaster is the thing that completely differentiates one disaster with another. When we talk of a normal disaster, it comes, ruins the place and the conditions improve after the fall of disaster. But the thing in the disaster of attraction is that it comes, and makes you feel joy, promotes you to do stupid things and makes a tremendous amount of ruination after its fall.
The fall of the disaster of attraction is remarked by some of its aftereffects to the people and the humankind. The effects are anger, guilt and greed. And these are the only things that if you taste once, the tongue will want more.
So let’s know about the phases of the disaster as also mentioned above: - Joyfulness, Promotion, and Ruination.
The arrival of this disaster brings with it a lot of hope, joy, optimistic views and all of this are the direct result of the hormonal growth in the body during a specific time when we see the point of distraction. A person can be said to be so much motivated and inspired in this time period that he/she may start to think in another way and often gives the instances of doing the impossible. These can be seen through a well undefined example that is given by one of the biggest victims of this disaster. The example mentions keeping the moon in the hands of the loved ones.
During this phase of disaster, the person does not fear anybody, and starts to take the responsibility of even those things that he has not done. The threat of the elders is gone, the stress of studies is gone and continuity of life revolves around the point of attraction (Mostly the point of attraction is the person of another gender). This phase gives the ability to a person that remains with him the entire life i.e. The ability to take risks.
Moving forward comes another phase of attraction, that leads to a person doing the most stupid and non-meaningful and non-productive things of life. This phase enters when the phase of joyfulness is combined with care and concern which later comes to be as over-concern. This phase of disaster makes a person do stupid things but in a way that the person does not feel the stupidity of himself. The entire surroundings of the person may know that what he/she is doing is impractical or unreasonable, except the person. And as the result of the confidence filled in the first phase, he ignores everyone’s warnings. This phase makes the person forget about the food and sleep. The person may be waking up early and even having diets, just to be more sort of looking smart. This time period makes the person believe that The point of attraction is the love of life.
There is a highly unexpected ending for everyone going on in this phase. But majorly only 2 consequences can be there that end even in the same manner. These are:
- There is a chance that the person standing and watching its point of attraction is going away and could not do anything about it. And this is when the person understands that the disaster has happened. The disaster of his thoughts, the disaster of his feelings, the disaster that took away the mental peace and the disaster from which it was most important to deal with. Here the person has memories, guilt and anger but is still less than thought of the second probability.
- But the other thing that can happen with the person is the achievement of the aspiration. Now the situation may be presumed the best situation that could be there in its initial phase but as the build-up goes on, the situation goes on spoiling. This can be related by the saying that, “The value of the things gets reduced, once you have achieved it”. And hence the end result of this situation too ends up in mess. This is even more disastrous as now the person has way more memories (good and bad) and way more guilt and regret than he ever had.
In the end of both the situations, the person feels like shit and it is the time for him to take a bold decision. Here, he may be the one who does not lose consciousness and patience or he may be stricken by sorrow and feel like hell all the time.
This period of the disaster when it’s in the final form is not called Ruination for no reason. It provokes the person towards the ruination of life. At this time the love to the point of attraction is at its peak, as the person has lost and the need is visible the most. The desperation for the point of attraction is at its peak and the person is ready to do anything to get rid of the memories. The guilt and the anxiety raises and at the end all depends on the capability of a person to control it or handle it.
Now, either the entire energy can be concentrated and utilized for some perfect usage or can be spoiled and move on the wrong path. If the latter option is chosen, then there is no coming back from that path, but if the former option is chosen then the immense progress may lie nowhere but around your feet.
So that’s how the different phases of the most dangerous disaster goes on.
“If we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster” - Dalai Lama
Many of us may notice that here we know the cause, the consequence and phases of the disaster, then why we are still unable to cope with such a dangerous disaster that takes everyone into its lap.
For its explanation, we have a kind of dialogue from Bollywood, “I want to get destroyed”. And that explicitly justifies the reason why can’t the resolution of disaster be taken out. People, though knowing the consequences, want to get indulged in such a situation which will definitely give enough pain to death at its end.
Each and every person of the earth wants to experience and needs the exchange of one of the purest feelings “LOVE” due to which and in hope of which the attraction starts to a thing.
So, there comes a trick question, which is dangerous and can be termed as disaster – LOVE or ATTRACTION?
Everyone in the world may have a different view on this question, but I have made a little attempt at giving the explanation of this question.
The explanation I am giving is not at all being claimed to be a successful attempt but can be the most explicit and relatable explanation. I would like to name the theory – The Drown theory.
According to the Drown theory,
- Attraction ∝ Love
- Love ∝ 1/attraction
This means, as the attraction increases, Love increases; But at the same time, as the Love increases, the Attraction decreases.
The only thing that makes the theory unsuccessful is the number of exceptions and contradictions that come in this theory.
Explanation: In the initial phase of each person’s life, attraction plays an important role and goes hand in hand with love. The attraction and love at this time, are really very good friends who have to and are travelling together on a long way. Their destination can be said to be a point where no difference exists between both of them, and both the feelings are merged into one another.
But the real difference in this journey starts thereafter they reach the point they were destined to. As till now, both were to reach a certain point together hand in hand but now such proportionality among both of them contrasts and completely depends on the decisions, steps and actions taken onwards.
And these decisions, steps and actions lead to the second formula of the Drown theory that Love is indirectly proportional to Attraction. The major difference during this phase of life from the previous one is the visibility. The moving on and moving forward of love and attraction could be seen but now as the destination is reached and both are merged, they have become invisible in the aspect of their rising differences. In such circumstances, love is unable to match and cope with the rising and growing attraction, which can be now referred to as “mismatch of expectations”. And hence, though the love may be increasing, attraction starts to condense. And till the time this gets realized, comes the time, when this can’t be undone and relationships get spoiled.
And as one thinks of the exception arising to this Drawn theory, the person may notice that two of the biggest exceptions are:
- The true love
- The untrue love, the un-needed cooperation
So, through this theory one can come to a conclusion that despite love being a stronger feeling, the attraction would be referred to as the most disastrous feeling.
And also this is clear that no one can escape or get rid of being in the lap of this disaster. But definitely there are some pre-disaster and post-disaster steps that can be adopted for the reduction of the overwhelming effects of this disaster.
Following is the brief description of how the effects of the disaster can be reduced in the pre disaster phase:
It is the phase before the arrival of disaster, it’s the situation when the peers of the victim may or may not have experienced the disaster. And among those who are aware of the disaster and its consequences may warn the victim (to be) about it. But in this situation, there is a major chance that the victim will refuse to consider the advice of the peers. This is nothing but the mentality of a person that “When a person is denied to do something, it would be the first wilful thing to be done”.
Another way by which a person can be stopped from coming under the focus of this dangerous disaster is by the step towards religion. Though not being the thoroughly used method, or fully successful method but if combined with a “perfect” environment, can be one of most effective methods of retracting someone from the efforts of this disaster. Following the religious way includes practicing meditation, yoga, and different kinds of yogas (Karma Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Gyan Yoga). The basic idea behind this technique is to make the victim (to be) understand that the feelings like greed, attraction and love are the all the illusion and one should not get trapped in these.
The consequences noticed after the usage of this technique are not that a person may not fall in the trap of this disaster but his mind would be perfectly stable and capable of handling the consequences of this disaster.
Now as we have seen how the effects of disaster can be reduced in the pre-disaster phase, now we must see what to do in the post disaster phase.
There is a famous saying that “It makes no sense to cry over the spilled milk”. And this would be the only thing that the victim of this Disaster of attraction will not be able to understand.
In such cases, the peers have to be supportive, despite being a critic. The respective peers know about how it feels and know that it’s not easy to come over this particular feeling. The victim, at this time is also a victim of several other thoughts such as that of being cheated, ditched etc. And needs serious help, counselling and support during this time.
This phase of a person can be compared and is highly comparable to the menstrual cycle faced by the female sect of the society. All the care and pampering the girl needs during this period of time, is all similar to that the victim guy/girl needs during this period of time. In both situations, there is more mental damage than the physical one.
This is the situation when the respective victim can be moulded on either side, being positive or negative. There are a lot of examples visible on the internet and in real life when victims in most go for the negative side and get indulged in the consumption of the toxic substances for the retrieving of stress generated by the disaster. Most of these people are those with a heavy emotional side or those which are untouched by the necessary steps to be taken during the pre-disaster phase.
And therefore peer guidance is the most important thing necessary for moulding the feelings of the victim in the post-disaster phase.
The other post-disaster remedies are those that can be appointed by the victim himself. These are the practices such as Writing, Journaling, Reclaiming oneself, etc.