INTRODUCTION

It all started on January 20, 2020, when the first lockdown was held in my state. Until then my first-year life at MBBS was full of the hustle and bustle, full of fun and memories with my new college friends........but at a point, while exams were going on (third internal assessment), while on my practicals I was hoping that I needed a break exactly from this hectic assignment, assessments, practicals, etc.... and it happened!!!! I know right they announced lockdown exactly after my internal assessments and I was on cloud nine...... finally I can chill at my home. but little did I know about the cost of these..... cost of human life succumbed to COVID-19. Honestly, I thought it would be just 10 days or something and back to our routine life. But I was wrong and dumb enough to have thoughts like that.

So my lockdown holidays started, the first few days I wasn't having any classes. As half of the portions were completed and they were hoping that the lockdown would be lifted soon and they could resume their classes for us. But no, COVID had some other plans. Day by day cases was piling up. In INDIA, on every street, 1 in 5 houses had cases or rather more. so quarantine was the only solution then!

MY INITIAL DAYS

The first initial days went by waking up late, doing my routine, watching series, eat-sleep-repeat :). then at a point I couldn't..... it was suffocating to a point that I started losing myself and it was frustrating, I started to pick up fights with family members every now and then. I wanted to go out but they forbid me by saying that was not safe and I couldn't risk it. I know that being a medico I shouldn't behave like this, in fact, I am supposed to protect my family members and others but being locked down all day made me this. then I realized one thing, if I can't suck it up and stay at home, then "what about my mom" how could she stay home all day managing house chores without complaining. Being 25 years of a housewife she didn't once complain about staying home all day looking after us. Of course, we would go out occasionally but still staying all day home was a feeling of "being caged". so  I embraced it and accepted the situation and tried to act wisely.

LIFE GOES ON...

My online classes started... indulged myself in assignments, and series, scrolling up Instagram, studying a little bit along with my friend, trying culinary skills(failed eventually), and bonded with my family more.

I can still remember during December while scrolling up my Instagram my reels were filled with "life goes on" song, initially, I was unaware of the song, about the artist "BTS" all I saw were those lyrics.......damn those lines from that song hit me hard...

"One day, the world stopped
Without any warning
Spring didn't know to wait
Showed up not even a minute late
Streets erased of footprints
I lie here, fallen to the ground
Time goes by on its own
Without a single apology, yeah

It looks like rain again today
I'm soaked to the bone
Still won't stop (Hey)
Running faster than that cloud of rain
Thought that'd be enough
Guess I'm only human after all
I'm in a world of pain
This cold the damn world gave to me (Woo)
Prompts me to press the dust-covered rewind
Dancing off-beat lying on the ground
Once winter comes, let's exhale
A warmer breath

There's no end in sight
Is there a way out?
My feet refuse to move, oh
Close your eyes for a moment
Hold my hand
To that future, let's run away

Like an echo in the forest
The day will come back around
As if nothing happened
Yeah, life goes on
Like an arrow in the blue sky
Another day flying by
On my pillow, on my table
Yeah, life goes on
Like this again...

That was the thing I needed at that moment, probably not only for me but for people all over the world. I searched for the song and the artists. then I came to know about their album "BE", "LOVE YOURSELF", and "MAP OF THE SOUL" and goddamn those songs were heartwarming and I just found a gem myself.....started to love myself and tried being optimistic about things.

I learnt a lot from them. In all situations, I tackle them by saying "No matter what happens, don't give up hope, things will be alright soon and a good time will come." 

And huge thanks to BTS for this, for being there for people like me.

THINGS I REALISED...

During the whole lockdown I realised that people are available only when they are free....(they spend time with you only when they are free....they won't make time for you). I experienced this, probably not only me. during my birthday while on lockdown... I used to get wishes not only from people close to me but also from people to whom I rarely talk and barely know. A few people just uploaded my pic in status and wish me rather than wishing me personally. 

During that time, there were deaths not only due to COVID but also due to mental stress, people commit suicide, which was really horrifying. "what they might have gone through to do this?", "Did they have anyone for them during that moment?", not everyone is blessed with good family members, reliable friends, and loving and caring people. 

"To help a friend is easy, but to give him or her your time is not always opportune".

To conclude, from this lockdown experience I learnt that,

• patience is a virtue and it can be cultivated.
• there are a lot of things I am grateful for
• no longer take people for granted
• no matter what happens be there for your people
• I am a lot more adaptable than I thought
• can find the light even in my dark time and shine...

"It's ok to break down, shed tears...
but don't you tear yourselves"

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