Introduction
The moment we start understanding or try to understand relations and their impact on us we start discovering the role of society in our life. During our phase of enlightenment to different relations, we encounter toxicity. When we initially encounter it, we try to escape it like an escapist but gradually when an encounter happens again and again under the pressure of stability endurance of toxicity enhances. At one point with aging, the endurance of toxicity becomes a habit.
Isn’t it true that right from childhood we are told to listen to our parents and the control of decisions made in our life is with our parents? Then suddenly when decision-making responsibility hits us when we become independent, we start wobbling out of unpreparedness. When this sudden realization to become responsible happens to us, we entangle into several relationships in such a way that in some of those relationships we encounter toxic people and that toxicity we get from them makes us play the same role as a toxic person in someone else life. And in this way cycle of toxicity goes endless. Finally, after getting trapped in this lifecycle and when it turns out to be never changing habits, we claim that life is all about adjustments and sacrifices.
Reasons behind running into toxicity
What are these adjustments or sacrifices for? Is it for the seeking “Stability” factor in life? Is the stability cause for ultimate endurance or it is a by-product as the real cause is some uncertain fear of abandonment or trauma? Probably even on the death bed if given a chance to rectify our regrets, in that more time to live we would still be back on the same track of endurance and will never give ourselves chance to break the cocoon that is exhausting our breaths.
How often do we feel pity for the victim who continues to stay with their abusers? Ever thought about what makes them stay with their abusers? It’s their attitude of giving up and living in a delusion that the abusive zone is their only option for sustainability. In the same way when this endurance turns into a habit, we self-pity for all the toxicity we become vulnerable to bear.
Self-pity vanishes hope, the last moral shoulder to lean on. Everyone says to be hopeful but hope is the farthest point especially when we plod on the road of life with lost faith.
A victim with lost faith finds it hard to carry healing and hopes to run parallel in the lifespan marathon especially to cover it within the framework of fast time escape.
What if the world clock stops for a day, and the entire world is yours, everything good and bad all in your hand, would you still run into toxicity or away from it, out in search of your lost vibe?
So, if you would go hunting your inner self then why wait for some time-clock to stop, why not live in this very moment and make the best out of it. This time in which you are breathing, living, and feeling alive is nothing just a clock on pause waiting for you to explore your true self.
How to explore your true self?
When life comes to you just make every cell of your body scream out louder that “At this moment I am me and I am mine, come on test my self-love and depth of knowing me”.
Remember, these recognitions, wealth, relations, our self-being nothing we are going to carry with us in our afterlife. But what we do leave or carry is a memory. So why not focus on making good memories? Yes, consistency isn’t possible because life is all about ups and downs. Hence it is okay to be an escapist sometimes to instill the cheerful mindset towards life to waltz through challenging moments which at one point no more seem a challenge.
How to deal with toxicity?
We cannot change the past or situations that happened to us. What happened, has happened but further, we need to move on and not let it affect our present.
Just like in swimming one who can conquer the harsh waves in the deep ocean will never bother the depth of the swimming pool while diving into it. But before conquering the waves of the deep ocean one must have been through hardships of floating, holding breath, and kicking in low-depth water.
Or just like every cheerful person must have been through past hardships, no one can ever imagine especially through the gleaming smile on their face. As if it was true every smile holds so many unsung tears in eyes that were never wept. Every time we talk about empathy and compassion, do we mean it? If yes, then why we do not empathize with ourselves or we are not compassionate to ourselves? The energy that we spend on making our surroundings happier, we engage 1 % of that energy to make ourselves happy.
We come across this saying that we meet the right person but at the wrong time. What if you challenge yourself to work out things together with the right person until you reach the right time? You must try it! But the outcome will be nothing because the reality is that the right person can turn even the wrong time peacefully and better.
Let’s take an example, after a tiring day with lots of ups and downs, our mind is constantly spinning with thoughts stuck with incidents that happened to us throughout the day. Where do we find peace? Do you think in the club partying with friends? Nope. It may make you feel happier for a moment but will not get you peaceful sleep for an energizing morning to restart a hectic schedule day again the next day. It is always dinner with your mother, talking your heart out to her, and her pat on the head that gives you the feeling that everything will be okay which gives you the spirit to keep going.
Moreover, if you are alone, be the right person for yourself. Mental strength is the key to selflove. The more our list of dependencies enhances we lose our mental strength. Priorities never make us vulnerable, if only we maintain the fine line that we need to sustain our bonding with ourselves and the people surrounding us or who are indirectly associated with us.
Conclusion: These fear of making mistakes or being guilty of failure, don’t let them hold you back for this one life you have all to live. So, fight it out like a warrior. Some days you have to be your self-motivator and step out of the toxicity or step away from the toxic people and focus on breathing the air through the process of detoxification. It may take effort and time but it will be worthwhile. This reminds me of the saying of Julius Caesar that “Cowards die many times before their deaths, The valiant never taste of death but once.”.
