Imagine your crush is coming to your home. It's Sunday and early in the morning, well it's Sunday. You are sleeping and you just fucking realised the situation. Well, that’s what happened to me.
My ass brother who sleeps only in the day and lives at night, suddenly decided to call him, my crush, Abhi. I am in my bed, smelling worse than a never-washed sock and my skin slimmer than a frog thanks to Bengaluru’s ever-predictable weather and us being poor enough to not buy a UPS. Well, you might think that “you can just act like you have a cold” and would have listened to you Unfortunately that wasn’t the only problem. Because I had piled up so many assignments and had presentations and by cause-and-effect theory, my whole room had everything…. everywhere. Do you remember when your teacher would enter the class and say “Is this a class or a fish market! Shut …” (Stop stop we don’t want PTSD) it's worse than a fish market. It looked like an urban house but smelt like my village. We ended up with cow dung due to the absence of my mom. If she were here, this room would be spotless, I mean even the design on the tiles would just {snap} vanish thanks to her OCD. Oh, don’t worry she is not dead, just visiting her best friend in Hubli, who is getting remarried. Yep, divorce and remarriages have become a norm nowadays with some side effects of old and jobless relatives and strangers. It's really a shame that we live in a society where one can choose their life partners, and if they do, they would want to hang their ears to death. Especially women sheesh, they can’t go out without people assuming her brother is another boyfriend. But on the other face of the coin, women tend to cheat less, not all but some with allodoxaphobia. Now back to our labour with a hint of stress-induced adrenaline.
Some of you might be saying, “Just lock the door or get out or both”. Sorry to break it to you, but my living status is not to your convenience. Me and my wage slave brother share the same room. Yeah yeah take that in, There you go, finally understood? Ok then let's continue.
So, for a quick temporary upshot, I dumped all my shit into the preexisting shit-filled bench slash storage unit, which lucky my mom has no idea about. Still waiting for its grand reveal and my homeless journey. And emptied the can of deodorant whose expiry date is long gone, you see I am smart. Quickly removing the fish smell in my mouth and multi-tasking by preparing chai plus drinking it and hanging all the laundry, I rushed to do my morning business. Soon I sniffed to dig out the best-smelling soap (patanjali vanilla) sanded off the rotting rank. Cleanly dressed and with an olfactory visual of vanilla cake, I was prepared for my battle.
My smell a check, my room a check, my face, can’t do shit cause of my parents and lastly, I need to look busy. As aforementioned I had already completed all my projects and assignments so I dug up my bro’s long-lost books. Not lost as in he had lost it (which he did) but didn’t even try to find it which in turn nulls the whole concept of being lost. I mean you abandoned it at least have the dignity to remember. Show some respect man! sheez... And so, I was fully set, this time completely. Now we wait….
Hmm, when will he come? Wait what if he calls my brother out? All my efforts will go to waste. No, wait, I can just go out if that happens. “Ah, I came to ask bro something, hello gm” What are we whatsapping here? No more like “Hi, I actually.. Better yet just wait and he will respond, I mean that’s the best right?
Ahh, when will he come?! It’s been 1 ho…. Wait what 2 minutes? Hey, could have pitied and given at least 5 minutes, they all think that I am so desperate which I am, certainly but still when will he come? Oh, solving puzzles is equivalent to meditation? That’s new. I always thought it was (yep, I got distracted just like that) a childish shit thing to do.
While we are waiting let's have a flashback to the day I fell for him. Um not exactly fall but had a huge crush on him and had no other crush, so I simply fully focused myself on him. Yeah yeah, I fell. Trust me it’s not exactly a healthy path but when you are like me (which is impossible), a person who rejects every guy and keeps depressing on the fact that she is single. People out there, yes, I know I do it but listen to me even if you are afraid or want the perfect soul in one shot, which is possible but not always, just try dating. They may not tick any of your boxes of or your friends and siblings may not like them but give it a go. Keep the first few dates a secret, get to know them and finally, when you are sure and not ‘ashamed’ of them or the relationship itself and you are comfortable with it, reveal your ring. That’s what it says when you search “how not to be single”. Ha easier said than done. Only if I had that much courage to trust everyone who comes my way.
No matter whom I am curious about I will give myself all the reasons not to approach them. What if I say hi and he ignores me? What if he says hi and we get along and he is a serial killer? I mean haven’t you seen the news? Single teenage girls who are desperate for someone are their target.
Again I waited. I know you guys are desperately waiting for my reaction who is he and his reaction and our unique Sandalwood or Bollywood romantic chemistry. I know but time (patience) please.
Oh, he is here. Okay, you look good? Yes, I am looking great.