“What if I never find love?’ ‘Don’t worry. Then, love will find you.’ ‘How?’ ‘In its own mysterious and magical ways.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because souls like you deserve to be loved.” - Ashish Bagrecha, Dear Stranger, I Know How You Feel
The year is about to end and just like every year, each one of us will reflect on their life and will make some resolutions for the upcoming year. So in this piece of writing, I want to share one of the most significant lessons I learned this year. You must be wondering why I should waste my time reading someone else's life lesson and what is so novel about it. You are right, though, and I can assure you that the lesson I'm about to share will undoubtedly come in handy for you in the future.
The topic I am going to discuss is Heartbreak. Though temporary but can leave a deep impact on one’s life. At some point in our lives, most of us have undoubtedly gone through this phase. It is a necessary and inescapable component of life that must occur in order for us to grow and learn from it. Even though moving on is possible, some people find it incredibly challenging. While some develop melancholy, anxiety, or mental illnesses, others attempt self-harm or hoped to exact retribution. Heartbreak is of various forms it may be due to the death of your loved one, betrayal by the people you trust the most, the end of a friendship or a relationship, and many more.
Here, I'll focus specifically on a romantic relationship because there are currently numerous cases of it in the news, such as the one involving Aftab Poonwalla, which rocked the entire nation. Accordingly, I personally think that this problem needs to be resolved as soon as possible so that we can stop many lovers from becoming the next Aftab Poonwalla.
My love life will be briefly discussed, along with how it ended, how I recovered, and most importantly, what I learned from this nightmare like every year I hoped that 2022 will be in my favor but I guess I was wrong As I finished high school and entered college, my boyfriend and I began a long-distance relationship. We communicated with each other frequently via phone conversations, texts, and video calls in the beginning, and we did all of this on a regular basis. However, eventually, we ran out of time for one another, and he began to ignore me. I started to get insecure, and January 26, 2022, the day we commemorate the republic also happened to be the day I ended my first relationship. As spring came to an end and summer got underway, I concentrated on my profession and spent time with my friends and family, but I gradually started missing him. I began to miss his voice, touch, and, most significantly, smile. I grew so fixated on him that I repeatedly tried to contact him, but it was unsuccessful. And one day I learned that he had found a new love and was content with her. I believed I would never be able to move on at first since it wounded me so much. I experienced despair, began to doubt myself, became easily irritated, and ultimately severed all ties with everyone and gave up on love.
Time passes by and autumn arrived. Yet there was no change in my life. My loved ones tried to make me understand that you are just 20 and you will surely find love again but that is not enough to heal my broken heart. Either I give up on love or seek out retribution. But what we don't realize is that by wishing for retribution, we are actually giving them the chance to harm us once more, this time psychologically. And because I was ignorant of this information, I was actually going through all of these actions in a continuous loop. I tried to leave but was unable to do so for some reason.
Winter came and I activated my Instagram account as my birthday was approaching. As I was hopelessly scrolling my insta I came across one of the posts of a famous writer Ashish Bagrecha who says “what if I never find love? Don’t worry then love will find you in its own magical and mysterious ways. “ I can honestly tell that reading this quote gave me newfound optimism. I began to re-parent myself and encouraged myself to put my faith in God and let go. It wasn't at all simple at first, but as time went on, I saw my error and chose to forgive myself as well as him. I've read a lot of books and listened to a lot of podcasts, and I've come up with five pieces of advice based on my own experience that I'd like to share with everyone in case you ever face heartbreak. First of all, we must never become emotionally attached to someone because doing so unconsciously gives them the control button of our heart, and then it would lead to mental agony, possibly leading to self-harm When they play with it. Second, while doing self-care try to avoid post which talks about revenge or heartbreak instead listen to motivational songs, read self-development books, third stop stalking them and get busy so that you don’t think about them, fourth don’t stay in solitude because it can attract negativity and last but not least accept the fact that they are no more in your life and god removes all those people from your life which aren’t good for you.
I applied all of these principles to my life with the utmost seriousness. Although there wasn't much of a shift at first, day by day there was a tremendous change in my life. By the end of the year, I had changed from the clingy, easily attached person I had been into a confident, independent young woman. I started rekindling my relationship with my loved ones and refocused on my profession.
Some of you still believe that I was fairly fortunate and that my circumstances are insignificant in comparison to theirs. However, I want to make clear that no matter what kind of heartbreak you experience, it will undoubtedly seem like a weight has been placed on your chest, and it tends to get heavier over time. Because of this, I am aware of how challenging it is and will undoubtedly become. However, if I can do it, so can you; all you need to do is forgive those who have wronged you and have faith in God's plan for your life.