There was a time not many years ago when family meant 3-4 generations of people living together. There used to be great-grandfathers, great-grandmothers, and great-grandchildren. There used to be uncles and aunties, cousins, nephews, and nieces, all living under one roof. With the increase in urbanization and relocation to cities, these joint families broke in search of jobs, education, and so on and resulting in nuclear families. Only 2 generations - the parents and their children comprised these broken-down families. But today what we see should probably be called micronuclear families. I truly wonder if they are even families. Most of the time the couple is living together. Most either don't have children or don't want children. Their parents stay elsewhere, again lonely. There are many instances where the husband and wife live in separate cities alone owing to their work or other commitments. Sometimes a parent accompanies the son or daughter to other cities for education or work while the other parent is left behind elsewhere. So can we still technically call these families?

Some take pride in being part of these micronuclear families as I like to call them, as it proves to the world how independent one can be. But it also points to the world how lonely one has become. God did not create us to be lonely beings. He created us to move and live in groups. We have moved far far away from the concept today. But what worries me is not "the living apart" part of it, but the "drifting apart" part of it. We see most youngsters going abroad to study and jobs, and end up settling there, while their parents are stuck here. Some parents may travel and visit their children and the children may visit their parents once a year, but what is scary is the kind of bondage that results from this. Many argue that long distances will only strengthen the relationships, not weaken them, but let's look at it from a practical standpoint. If your mother is sick and you stay oceans across, you may call her a hundred times a day to enquire about her health, but would it be the same as you sitting next to her, holding her hand and caressing her head while reassuring her that she would be fine? People have forgotten how powerful the human touch is. While those who stay abroad have these issues, even those who stay near can have the same problems. We are more likely to encounter people worried about their pet cats or dogs rather than their parents. We see them buying expensive stuff for themselves and their pets but refusing to take their sick parents for a doctor's consultation. These people are applauded for caring for animals that can’t talk, but the sad reality escapes the onlooker’s eyes. It’s fancy to care for your voiceless pet, while it’s disgusting to wait in the hospital waiting room with your sick parent.

The loss of human touch is not just confined to the parent-child relationships. It seems to have affected other bonds too. We have seen people who put up Instagram or Facebook posts 100 times a day but refuse to speak to the human being sitting next to them. A person can have hundreds of followers and millions of likes on social media, but in reality, have not even one true friend. These are truly unfortunate times. And the younger generations have grown to live a life of lies through these social media so far from reality that the lie seems too real and near not to be true.

How many of us remember lying next to our grandmothers, feeling the softness of her cotton saree on our faces, as we hugged her and listened with twinkling eyes to all the wonderful stories she told us? How many of us remember playing or talking with our grandfathers about current events and their childhood adventures? How many of us remember the long bike rides with our fathers? How many of us remember listening to the sound of our mothers singing as we leaned and slept on their chests? How many of us remember those all-nighters at a friend's place where the night ended but the conversations didn't? How many of us remember sharing a pack of ‘Hide and seek’ biscuits with a whole bunch of friends? How many of us remember trying to match clothes with our brothers and sisters for a family function? How many of us remember those summer holiday trips to our grandparents' house where all cousins gathered to boast and brag about their past year's adventures?

Where are we truly headed? A lonely life where there is no time for friendships or relationships? A crazy life where money is more important than happiness? A racing life where you don't even enjoy or remember the taste of food that you have worked so hard to earn? Are we heading forward or moving backward? Are we heading toward a more expensive sophisticated future at the cost of our relationships and happiness?

While our relationships with the rest of the world are broken, our relationship with the self is also affected. We are so engrossed in work or other commitments that we tend to ignore ourselves. Most of us don't even find time to enjoy our morning coffee in peace. We are so engrossed in gawking at the social media posts of others that we don't find time to think about and speak to ourselves. Where will we end up if this trend continues? For 2 long years, we blamed COVID for confining us to our houses. But I don't see many coming out even after COVID ended. We need to mend our attitudes before we end up 6 feet under. Otherwise, we will end up with the epitaph - "Lived alone, buried alone. Loved by none, never loved anyone". 

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