Hi, how are you today? I am good. Thank you for asking. How are you? I am good too..!

These few words to know how the other person is, are they enough? In our day-to-day life we meet a lot of people personally and professionally and we have excelled the art of telling others that we are doing good and not only that, reciprocating it with a smile as well. But are we really doing good? Or it’s just a lie that we are so comfortable telling that we have become used to it. The truth is, not everyone needs to know how we are really doing because then they will start having notion about things and presumptions about you. It’s easy to be on the other side and judge a person. It applies to all aspects of life. A person might pretend to be happy and carry a fake smile around and the others will hardily bother to notice if that smile is genuine or a forged on. People today are so self-centered that they hardly care about others. This feeling has always been mutual in most of the cases. If you don’t care, why should I? We are surviving with a selfish motive of “my happiness is my priority”. To be honest, I don’t think that it’s even wrong after looking at the series of events happening around us. 

Just think of a hypothetical situation when you wished a colleague good morning and asked him how he was. In return, he starts telling you about his breakup that happened last night. Now to his face, you will empathize and feel sorry about him. But will the same feelings last as soon as he turns his back and goes to his cubicle to work. For few people it can but for maximum people, it won’t, right? You will soon realize that you have a gossip for the day that can be shared at least by the person sitting next to you. Maybe you were not gossiping and discussing it generally, but will the other person perceive it as it is? One sentence, different stories and several assumptions. The hilarious thing is that the person who is being discussed about might come to know a completely different version of his own story by his fellow colleague. This will not only break his trust but will also make him to develop a thick wall around him that can’t be easily broken. It’s impossible to not react when you are a topic of discussion, the reaction might be different, but the feelings of betrayal will remain the same. That’s the reason why so many of us feel hesitant in sharing our true feelings.

We don’t want to be judged by others and neither do we want them to share their opinion. That’s fair enough..! But truth being told, not every time you can hide your feelings and pretend to be ok. It’s perfectly ok to not feel ok. You can feel like crying, shouting or maybe just sitting in silence. Whatever you feel, express it to yourself. You should be your own mentor and healer. This comes from a lot of practice. But the day you start listening to yourself you will feel satisfied. Make a habit of looking in mirror and speaking to yourself. Just be vulnerable to showcase all your fears that you have and all the anxieties that you are dealing with. The best suggestion will come from the person standing on the other side of the mirror. Yes, that you..! At times you can be a poor judge as well by wrongly perceiving the situation and pre assuming the outcome. But no need to worry. It’s your life and you have all the right to take any decision that you deem fit. You should be ready to face the repercussions as well. Your judgements will not always land you in a bed of roses. There will be thorns that might prick you, so be ready with a band aid.

But being said that, I do not encourage you to be in your shell and not speak. Every person has a confidant. Start looking for one. It could be your parents, cousins, friends or may be siblings. But there is this 1 person who will understand you no matter what. Without jumping to any conclusions, they will listen to you whole heartedly and then give you a suggestion. Start to connect with that person. No battle can be fought alone. If you are leading the battle, you at least need 1 person to support you in case you get tired in between. But the person you choose, should not be a bootlicker. He/ she should have strong opinion and the most important thing is, you should be open for all sort of discussion to get a clarity. It’s not easy to find a person who can show you your true self. There can be people who want to either please you or may be make you feel less important. But a person who accepts you as it is and makes you realize your importance is hard to find.

I personally feel all these posts during Covid times in social media platform of “call me “and “text me” if feeling low are just a publicity stunt. If a stranger will call you at midnight to discuss about their problems, will you entertain them? You might, but that real connection will only develop if that person knows you well enough to take your suggestions and react accordingly. It takes guts to open your true self and be emotionally naked in front of others. Make sure you are showing yourself a true picture and if you fail, you are being supported by that person who you feel gives the best advice. Silent sufferings have only led to suicides and that void that gets created is painful.

So, make sure every morning you ask yourself “How am I” and the answer should be “I am happy” and reciprocating it with a smile.

- Saumya

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