It's not just a legal process it's an emotional process too.
Six distinct emotional stages can be visible - anger, depression, denial frustration, acceptance, and confusion.
Divorce is a transformation of thoughts, feelings, emotions, and values. Though it is freedom from couple constraints and independence, regaining self-image, developing self-confidence, tackling with society, and building trust takes in a lot of struggle.
Single parenting is the biggest challenge. There no longer exist dreams, hopes, and concepts of love and belief.
Splitting starts with courage.
Emotional Process:
a) it's a practical challenge that needs time and courage.
b) it takes a lot of motivational energy to regain ourselves.
c) it involves legal, parental emotional, financial, and practical challenges.
d) self-doubt and self-hate arises.
e) leads to surprising losses.
Toughest challenges of divorce:
a) spending time with children.
b) answering the doubts and confusions of children.
c) providing explanation to self.
d) answering questions of split up.
e) financial and personal security.
f) goals and dreams of future.
g) stress, frustration, depression, and fear of trust.
i) bonding with family and society.
h) sudden drift to single parenting.
Divorce affects children:
a) children feel lonely and have many unanswered questions.
b) they wish not to participate in any conversation that degrades any of the parents.
c) they fear being bullied or comments regarding the separation of their parents.
d) kids of the divorced are confused, scared, angry, disappointed, anxious, and irritated.
e) readjustment to single parent is hard.
f) classroom attentiveness and grades may suffer.
g) self-esteem and future relationship may suffer.
h) feeling of delinquency and sense of helplessness.
i) increase of behavioural problems.
j)) conflict with peers.
k) changing schools, moving to a new home, and living with a single parent can be a new stressor.
l) life without a sibling (sibling separation) cannot be imagined.
m) impulsive behaviour can be witnessed.
n) parental control gets sideways.
o) trusts his peer group more.
p) increasing demands of daily life and social problems pop up.
q) due to lack of parental control the child may get addicted to smoking, drugs, drinking, and sexual attractions during adolescence.
r) feels it difficult to deal with mental health problems.
s) finds difficult to change his daily routine and to adjust with a single parent.
t) though he doesn't express it out he feels the loss of separation of the other parent.
Single parenting can be successful:
a) Restoring harmony and peace at home.
b) spending more time with kids and helping them to adjust to a single parent.
c) use consistent discipline.
d) monitor your children carefully.
e) empower your children and build up their confidence.
g) encourage problem-solving skills and cognitive abilities.
h) manage and correct behavioural problems in a healthy way.
i) provide safety and security to children though you are single now.
j) teach them to accept new reality.
k) never display your emotions and frustrations in front of your kids.
l) always seem happy in front of your children.
m) be mentally strong and help your children to possess this.
n) talk to your children and help them to express their fears, worries, anger, confusion, and frustrations.
o) make them comfortable in asking questions.
p) offer consistent support and affection.
Divorce is a separation which needs mental strength. It is one of the most courageous decisions with a new beginning.
Divorce is expensive!!!
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