A picture of a woman cooking food in the kitchen while being hooked onto an oxygen concentrator was widely shared on various social media platforms during a concentrated surge of the COVID-19 pandemic in India. The conspicuous image was allegedly shared by the woman’s son on Instagram. ‘Unconditional love=mother. Never off duty', he captioned the picture.

The son's seemingly praiseworthy comments about his ailing mother cooking food for the family in the kitchen, in reality, reflects our society's tendency to idolize 'maternal sacrifice'. This is a rasping issue and a nudge for all of us to take a moment and ponder upon how we would've responded if placed in the position of the son. 

Would we allow our ailing mothers to cook for the family and cheer for them from behind the cameras? 

Or would we urge her to get some rest and do the cooking ourselves? 

There is only one right answer and it is the latter. 

Sorry to burst your bubble but mothers are not superheroes!

We've all heard this quote referring to mothers as superheroes. I'm certain we've all addressed our mothers as 'superheroes' on our mother's day cards. We can find shirts spelling the same. Let's understand who a superhero is and what they do. A superhero displays virtues such as courage, strength, and grit and most importantly they ought to get bit by a spider which results in them developing superhuman abilities (Thanks, Marvel). The most important aspect of superheroes is that they never make mistakes and they never fail. 

Mothers make mistakes. 
Mothers fail. 
Mothers are not superheroes. 
Mothers are human beings. 

It is okay to address mothers as superheroes to acknowledge and appreciate the things that they do for us. What is not okay is the toxic glorification of motherhood. The malignant standards that are placed upon mothers are inhumane and wicked. Glorifying the misery and pain of mothers has become the norm in our country. Mothers are highly praised and admired for the sacrifices they make for their families. Mothers are often described as the closest expression of godliness on earth in several religions, traditions, and cultures. The truth is that we have twisted these beliefs to benefit our own selves and left our mothers overworked, exhausted, and underappreciated. Somewhere along the lines, we've failed to acknowledge that mothers are human beings too. And even if we did acknowledge it, we've failed to treat them like human beings. 

Exhaustion is a universal mortal phenomenon. Well, except for 'good mothers'

There is this largely destructive conception of 'Mothers never take days off' or 'Mothers never get tired'. The truth is that mothers never take days off because they are not provided with the opportunities, privileges, and circumstances of taking one. We need to go beyond just looking at mothers as bottomless pits of affection and sacrifice and understand that they require rest and repose just like any other human being does. We need to empathize with our mothers. 

Mothers have abilities and aspirations that are valuable to this world. Mothers are criticized for almost everything they do because of the society's suppositions of perfect women and flawless, inexhaustible mothers. Working mothers are deemed to be neglecting their families and children. On the other hand, a mother that chooses to be a stay-at-home parent is assumed to be idle. They aren't working as hard as people with 'real jobs'. Apparently, stay-at-home mothers don't have real jobs. Anyone who says so has most definitely not understood the struggles that a mother goes through, regardless of her choice of pursuing a career outside of the house or being a stay-at-home mother. 

Bottom Line: At the end of the day, a mother is a human being that has physical, mental and physiological needs just like any other human being does. This is a universal fact that everyone probably already knows but it has to be said. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Mothers are human too. 

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