In today’s world, the challenges faced by men in society remain largely unaddressed. From societal expectations to legal biases, men are grappling with issues that are seldom discussed openly. The situation came into the spotlight when Atul Subhash’s shocking case caused a social media uproar in India. For the first time, men’s issues became a topic of mainstream conversation, exposing how unfair legal and judicial systems, coupled with societal prejudices, are weaponized against men.
One of the central points of this debate revolves around Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code, a law designed to protect women from domestic violence. While its intent is noble, the Supreme Court of India has expressed concern over its misuse. Increasingly, it is being wielded as a tool to settle personal scores, leading to unwarranted harassment of husbands and their families. Despite protests and support groups advocating for falsely accused men, this issue remains deeply entrenched.
The struggles of men extend beyond legal dilemmas. Relationship dynamics often place undue pressure on men. Whether it’s the expectation to create “moments” in romantic relationships or facing societal ridicule for showing emotional vulnerability, men are often caught in a web of conflicting expectations. For instance, a man who speaks kindly to his wife in front of his mother is labeled “whipped,” while showing affection to his mother in front of his wife earns him the title of “mama’s boy.” This paradox is fueled by the coexistence of patriarchal and progressive mindsets, leaving men navigating an impossible maze of societal approval.
Men as Victims of Patriarchy :
Interestingly, patriarchy not only suppresses women but also dehumanizes men. It reduces men to mere providers, robbing them of the freedom to explore their emotional and creative selves. Men are often denied the opportunity to develop softer skills like sewing, cooking, or child-rearing, which are deemed “unmanly.” This emotional castration begins early, as boys are discouraged from crying or expressing vulnerability, leading to a lifelong struggle with mental health.
The stigma surrounding male vulnerability manifests acutely in cases of male depression and suicide. Globally, men are significantly more likely to die by suicide than women. In India, for instance, over 120,000 men died by suicide in 2021, compared to 45,000 women. Despite this alarming disparity, men are less likely to seek help for mental health issues, often dismissing their struggles as trivial. Societal conditioning discourages men from acknowledging their emotional pain, pushing them further into isolation and substance abuse.
Neglected Discussions: Paternity Fraud and Custody Battles
Some critical issues affecting men remain largely unaddressed, such as paternity fraud and child custody. In cases where a man discovers he is not the biological father of a child he has raised, societal reactions are deeply problematic. Instead of offering support, society ridicules him, suggesting he failed to “control” his wife. Similarly, custody battles heavily favor mothers, often leaving fathers estranged from their children. In many cases, fathers are not even allowed visitation rights, further exacerbating their emotional turmoil.
Male Rape: An Ignored Crisis :
Another taboo subject is male rape. While female rape survivors face societal stigma, male survivors are mocked and their masculinity questioned. During wars, in prisons, and even in civilian life, male rape is a grim reality that is rarely acknowledged. In India, the replacement of IPC with the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita has removed provisions addressing male rape, leaving survivors without legal recourse.
Challenging Career Stereotypes :
Traditional gender roles also limit men’s career choices. Professions like preschool teaching, nursing, and therapy are heavily stigmatized for men. Male preschool teachers, for example, face suspicion of potential child abuse, despite the lack of evidence to justify such generalizations. This not only restricts career opportunities but also deprives children of positive male role models in nurturing roles.
Despite these challenges, there are inspiring examples of men breaking stereotypes. Abu Siddique, an engineer, transitioned to teaching young children despite societal resistance, proving that nurturing is not gender-specific. Such trailblazers highlight the need to create an environment where men and women can pursue careers without fear of judgment.
Towards a Balanced Discussion :
Discussions on men’s issues must move beyond superficial and divisive narratives. Blaming women or dismissing feminism, which advocates for gender equality, is not the solution. Instead, it is essential to address systemic biases and societal expectations that harm men. Recognizing that both genders are victims of patriarchal systems is the first step toward building a more inclusive and compassionate society.
By fostering open dialogue and challenging harmful stereotypes, we can create a world where men feel empowered to embrace their emotions, seek help when needed, and pursue careers free from societal judgment. Only then can we achieve true gender equality.